Fralex's Campaign Journal: Princes of the Apocalypse - Session 3 added
Session 3
Sorry this one is late, I had a busy week. It was really good, though! I hope you enjoy it.
Interim: In Which I Get a Solid Handle on the Other Characters
[sblock=Finally]So I have a much better idea of who's who now. Here's what I know:
The Sorcerer. This wild sorcerer is actually two 12-year-old half-elf sisters (not a brother and sister, as I had originally thought), standing on each other's shoulders. They have individual names that I can't recall, but together they are "Mephistophlovitch." "She" speaks with an accent about as ridiculous as her name, and has so far been a reliable source of chaos that miraculously has NOT killed us yet. A very entertaining player who enjoys speaking in character.
The Goliath. A massive fighter named Gwapo with a splash of warlock (Great Old One pact, I think). Tries to wrestle with every enemy he can get his hands on.
The Goliath's Brother. Gwapo's older brother, and a single-classed fighter. Was absent for the second session, so I don't know too much more, but it was he, not his brother, who was so taken with the rowboat. As of the third session, he is still carrying it around. Goes by the name Vopath (I don't know how any of these names are spelled).
The Pig. Vopath has a pet pig that follows him around, apparently. Its name is Hamcules.
The Fighter. I thought she was a rogue for the first two sessions because she had a magic dagger (I also thought she had a
robe of useful items, but apparently she was talking about a different game), but she is actually another fighter. She's named Nalla, and specializes in two-weapon-fighting. She is also a goliath.
The Bard. ANOTHER goliath named Zug-Zug whose instrument of choice is the bagpipes. Really wanted a hippogriff mount. Was not present for this session.
The Wizard. A gnome wizard named Damakos. I don't know much else about him, but I think he has a
wand of magic missiles.
Me. Human avenger named Risa whose only weapon is a cast-iron skillet. I've compiled a short list of frying pan-related one-liners for when I kill an enemy, but anyone who thinks of a good one is welcome to add to my list.
As of session 4 (last Wednesday), we now have
The Paladin. Yet another goliath, named Ilikan. More on him in the forth session.[/sblock]
Day 3-
Part 1: In Which We Try to Get a Second Gig
[sblock=Annoyance will get you everywhere in life]It was the beginning of a new day. Savra, the person we'd first met when we came to the spire, thanked us and hinted that if we wanted to get in good with the... organization she belonged to, we were quite welcome. The skies, the wind... it's a pretty big deal to be able to control it like the people here strive to do. We can teach all of you! Feathergale Spire's esteemed leader Thurl Merosska also trusted us, and requested we investigate the Sacred Stone Monastery. He had seen some suspicious monks headed towards it recently, and we seemed like fairly capable people for a band of traveling performers. We even managed to convince him to give us a hippogriff ride most of the way there for a little extra coin, so in a matter of hours we were coming up the steps of the Monastery.
Mephistophlovitch, the sorcerer, made first contact. She came to a door which had "two enormous knockers," which she "firmly grasped in each hand" and swung (the two twelve-year-olds making up her body giggled quietly to each other). A small window slid open, and a leering gargoyle peered out. Whoever was on the other side was wearing some sort of golden mask over his face.
Sorcerer said:
Ve have come to see de vizard!
Doorman said:
Sorcerer said:
I mean ve have been sent here to entertain you!
Doorman said:
Sorry, you have the wrong address. Go away.
Vopath, the goliath's brother, then went up to the door and knocked. When the window slid open, he held up a golden gargoyle mask identical to the doorman's.
Vopath said:
Hey, is this thing yours?
Doorman said:
WHAT?! Where did you find that?
Vopath said:
Oh, uh, on a dead body a while ago. Looked like there'd been a big fight, and a bunch of dead guys had masks like this! Weird, huh?
Doorman said:
Um, yes. If you could just... slide that through the hole here...
Vopath said:
Doorman said:
Vopath said:
We'll give it to you if you let us put on a show for you like we were sent to do!
Doorman said:
Show? We are monks! We have no need for such pleasures!
Sorcerer said:
Sounds like SOMEVONE is being buzzkeel!
Vopath said:
Whatever, I'll just hold on to this, then.
Doorman said:
Ugh... fine, ONE show. I suppose it has been some time... Come in, I'll gather the others.
The window shut, then the doors slid open. We were in.[/sblock]
Part 2: In Which Things Go Less Smoothly
[sblock=And other things go VERY smooth]We were introduced to the head of the monastery, whose name I kept getting wrong no matter how many times he exasperatedly repeated it. Something like Baggard, or Blogoth, or Blarblar? I dunno. He lead us down a a hallway while Nalla the fighter talked to him about how in this OTHER group she went to, they had, like, a whole
religion based around water. Do you guys have any holy books she could borrow, only about rocks or dirt or whatever it is you people worship? She was interested in learning more! Blabby replied that the people who worship water spirits are crazy and no one should take any stock in what they say. He did, however, have a few religious texts he might lend her after the
wonderful performance she and her companions promised him. The room he had in mind is right down these stairs...
There was a click, and the stairs were suddenly a smooth stone ramp. We tumbled down them and landed in a dark cell. Apparently Blargle was less interested in our amazing show than we thought. We could't climb back up the steps. The right third of the room was divided by thick iron bars, a door on which was presently opening. Opening to let out a massive, grotesque amalgam of a huge ape and a beetle. The creature had four eyes, though two of them were missing, and blades at the ends of its forelegs. And it was headed right for us.
The first thing we tried to do was shut the gate again, but Beetle Bladely won initiative and had already entered our side of the cell by the time we reached him. Gwapo the goliath lunged forward in an attempt to grapple the creature. He and it rolled a Strength (Atheletics) contest... and they both critted. Only in Gwapo's case, it was a critical
failure. The hulking beast effortlessly swatted him out of the air and sent him careening across the room, narrowly missing a stone pillar and landing on his back.
Next, I stepped up to it and tried to do that thing I'd done to the manticore the other day. I looked it straight in the eyes and shouted, "FLEE!" It gave me a nervous, quizzical look, then continued pounding us. It dawned on me that this thing probably didn't understand Common. Welp. I'll remember that for next time.[/sblock]
Part 3: In Which A Party Member Leaves Us
[sblock=After starting a new fashion trend]The goliath's brother Vopath was a bit more successful grappling the bugmonster. He even managed to drag it back into the enclosure from whence it came. Unfortunately, getting the door to close was no easy task. I mean, this thing was designed to stand up to a huge monster. A bunch of us took turns making Strength checks while the goliath's older brother and the monster wrestled in the cage. Finally the younger brother Gwapo managed to slam it shut, trapping his older brother inside. Oddly, both neither brother minded. Vopath continued to pummel the beast, but he was taking serious damage, too. After landing one big final blow, he was dropped to 0 HP, pinned beneath the creature. The wizard Damakos finished it off with a
thunderwave, positioning the blast so as to knock the monster's body off Vopath's body.
I reached through the bars and grabbed the unconscious goliath, slapping him back and forth in a desperate attempt to wake him up. Mysteriously, it worked. As my hand made contact with his face, there was a flash of radiance and most of his wounds closed. So I guess I can heal people by slapping them or something? Kinda weird, but whatever works.
We could not, however, get the door in the barred dividing wall open again. Not that Vopath was much bothered by this. He examined the dead monster, determining that it was, as we'd suspected, an Umber Hulk. Normally those things are even more deadly because simply meeting eyes with one can scramble your mind, but as was mentioned earlier this one was missing two eyes. Guess those were the ones with the gaze attack. Anyway, Vopath, noting a door on his side of the cell, kicked it down, gutted the hulk, and put on its carapace like a suit. He then whistled for his pig, Hamcules, and the two of them left the dungeon through the door.
He was always a pretty weird guy.[/sblock]
Part 4: In Which Wild Magic Gets Even Wilder
[sblock=I can't believe Vopath didn't get to see any of this]So, we'd defeated the umber hulk. Which was now being used as a (really bad) disguise by the goliath's older brother. Nalla the fighter walked over to the stair-chute and called up it that she could not find any religious reading material like she'd been promised. Also the umber hulk was loose. Blobin responded with a boiling ball of acid, shot from the top of the stairs.
Gripping my skillet and charging ahead at full speed from the other end of the cell, I ran up the stair-chute screaming "BLARRRBLAAAAAAARRR!" It turned out he was flanked by two guards, though, and once I reached the top one of them just whacked me with his spear and sent my sliding back down. The fighter tried the same thing. The
other guard knocked her back down.
Then Blarblar began intoning another spell, and
man, he had the
dullest voice. Especially this time, when he just droned on and on, talking slower and slower until I realized time around me had turned to syrup. I could hardly move. Gwapo, too, was magically slowed by his boring spell. I tried to run up the ramp again, but my legs wouldn't move fast enough to overcome the incline anymore. The sorcerer was unaffected, and responded with a
shatter that triggered a wild surge. Her player rolled on the table, and do you know what he got? 01. "Roll on this table at the start of each of your turns for the next minute." Yeah. We were in for a wild ride.
Nalla the fighter tried to run up the ramp, and actually managed to dodge the guard's swipe. She did not, however, dodge Blogarth's rumbling blast of seismic energy, and once again fell down the stairs. She smashed into Gwapo at the bottom and the two of them landed in a pile. Then the sorcerer took her turn. And summoned a unicorn. It telepathically asked her what was going on, and after being explained the situation replied,
I can teleport three of you to the top of the stairs, and I'll do what I can to help you from there.[/sblock]
Part 5: In Which Stairs Are Climbed, Tunnels Are Explored, and Puberty Occurs
[sblock=You are in a maze of twisty little passages, all different, with a pig]Meanwhile, as the rest of us were dodging acid balls and getting unicorn rides, Vopath and his pig Hamcules were wandering aimlessly underground. It was too dark to see anything, so he lit a candle and carefully balanced it on his pig's head. This didn't help a lot, and the umber hulksuit restricted his view. But hey, he'd committed to this idea, and he was going to see it through to the end, wherever that end may be. He pressed onward.
Back to us, the unicorn had just finished warping me, the sorcerer, and Gwapo past those infernal stairs. We appeared a little ways behind our three foes.
I can only do that once per day, so DON'T fall down there again, OK!? Unicornelius (as we had decided to name it) mentally told us. I pulled out my frying pan, ran up to the nearest guard, and with a loud
WANG! knocked him down the stairs he'd kept pushing us down. Mephistophlovitch the sorcerer took her turn next, giving everyone on the upper level vulnerability to piercing damage. Then, with a mighty blast of thunder, the other guard and the priest with the name I couldn't get right were both knocked down to the bottom as well.
Gwapo seized the opportunity and charged back
down the stairs at the fallen foes. But he tripped and just tumbled down to them, adding another person to the heap. The unicorn let out the telepathic equivalent of an exasperated sigh, and with a look that seemed to say, "THIS is how it's done!" charged down the ramp right after him. And tripped and fell, just like him. The celestial horse rolled down the stairs, legs flailing comically, and it, too landed in the pile at the bottom.
The sorcerer's wild surge activated again, this time giving her the chance to reincarnate if killed within a minute. She decided not to follow the others back down the ramp and opted, like me, for a ranged attack; I with my gnoll longbow and she with a volley of
magic missiles. On the unicorn's turn, it got back up and bludgeoned the priest to death with its hooves. The fighter, the wizard, and Gwapo made short work of the other guard. But things weren't over yet.
The sorcerer still hadn't finished her wild surge seizure. Over the next 36 seconds or so, several things happened in quick succession. A shield appeared around her.
Magic missiles shot from her ears. The top girl vanished into the astral plane, and returned just in time for the bottom one to do the same. The bottom girl also aged four years. Mephistophlovitch is now composed of a twelve-year-old girl standing on a sixteen-year-old girl's shoulders. This character must look
really strange by this point...[/sblock]
And that was the end of session number three. It was pretty crazy! I got over 300 XP this session, which means all that stands between me and third level is a long rest. I can't wait to be an avenger proper. I've never been a paladin before, but they're pretty fun. As mentioned at the beginning, I have one more session to write about after this one, which I will put up later. See you next time!