Do you think it is reasonable not to tip your server?

[Enforcer]

So I missed the kerfluffle. And while Spring1 can't reply to me right now I would like to address a few points. For the record, I've worked FOH (front-of-house, meaning service) for seven years now, mostly in a fine dining capacity. The restaurants I've worked at have all had at least one of the following, usually more: a James Beard Award for Service and/or the Chef, at least 3 out of 4 stars in the local paper of record (in major US cities), and a Michelin star. I've had tables who've spent more than $1,000 a person on so many occasions that it's not really remarkable to me. I've also worked at a couple casual places with great food (no chains) and a much faster pace. Service (especially wine) is my career, not something I'm doing while I earn a degree, and if I do say so myself, I'm pretty damn good at it. That said:

• You say you've never worked as a server. I believe you given your other statements. You are not qualified to judge me or any other server, plain and simple. If by fiat I could require all restaurant patrons to work in a restaurant for at least 6 months before they're allowed to dine out, I would do so in a heartbeat. It's not easy, not even at Red Lobster I'm sure. Ever wear out a pair of shoes in 6 months?
• Servers do mess up. I've done it plenty, even at the high-end places I've worked at. If you're working hourly/salary at a non-hospitality job and make a mistake do they dock your pay? If yes, is it the lion's share of your income? Is that fair?
• Sometimes a table gets their food first because the chef/expediter (the person who controls all of the tickets and tells the cooks when to fire which course) sent it out that way. You don't argue with the chef or the expo. You just don't. They have a better sense of where the entire restaurant is at and what's best for the restaurant as a whole. I've had tables get screwed because a critic/VIP/regular was at the next table. And while that sucks, it's absolutely in the restaurant's best interest to take care of the critic/VIP/regular first.
• When you get triple/quadruple/quintuple (happened to me more than once) sat, you can be epic-tier in the Efficiency class and you're still screwed as a server. Sure, if all of the tables are nice, patient, savvy diners, things will go okay. But this is seldom the case: usually there's one or more tables with a litany of dietary restrictions (you came to my fine-dining Italian restaurant and you're a vegan with a gluten allergy, really?!?), good or stupid questions ("So how does this work?" "Well, you tell me what you want to eat and drink and I bring them to you..."), or other nonsense. Or, if you're lucky, it's a high-roller table that will pay off big but requires a lot of time talking about the wine list to make it happen. And in a tipped environment that high-roller table will absolutely get more attention from me than a table that seems like they're yelpers (ugh!)/otherwise judging and drinks hot water with lemon...
• Cornell, which has the most highly regarded hospitality degree program in the US, has studied tipping extensively. Guess how much the guest's perception of the quality of service affects the tip... About 4%. That's not 4% of the bill, mind you, which would be substantial, it's 4% of the tip itself. Apparently if you're a young, blonde, white, female server with a large chest, that's worth a lot more than the diner's perceived quality of service.
• I personally prefer a flat hourly rate. Consistent income (come January in Chicago if you haven't been saving you're not making rent as the clientele drops by 50% and you're getting cut 2x a week...) and not dealing with all of the stress that tipping causes are well worth the slight decrease in income. And when I'm on my game (which is most of the time) I get additional cash tips anyways in addition to the automatic service charge. But the best reason to do away with tipping is that it increases quality of service. In a "normal" restaurant, the server has an economic incentive to give good service to his/her own tables and no economic incentive to care about other tables or help his/her colleagues. Without tipping, it's everyone's job to provide good service to everyone. In the case of being triple+ sat, the less busy servers can pitch in. More teamwork, better service.
• It's the manager's job to get rid of people who aren't pulling their weight. Complaining to the manager (in a respectful, decent-human-being tone) is the best way to help that restaurant and more importantly your own experience. And when it's a rude person complaining about silly trivialities, the manager can then ignore or sometimes eject said customer. Which is also the best way to help that restaurant and all of his/her employees' experience.

 

[Descartes]

Thanks Enforcer for your insider view. I would like to refute your point about servers not caring about tables that don't belong to them but sadly can not. I've tried in vain to instill this bit of wisdom at every place I've worked, "If a table leaves mad that's one less table you'll have tomorrow." It just doesn't seem to take though. I've always told the servers I work with when I'm shift leader if I hear "Not my job" or any form thereof they'll do extra side work. Every table in the restraurant is your table if you have a free hand.

 

[Enforcer]

Oh, I agree that that attitude is crap, but it definitely happens.

 

[Zombie_Babies]

Umm ... certain people posting in this thread are one of the reasons that I try to be as courteous as possible when dealing with wait staff and to tip well when deserved (which happens to be a lot more frequently than, apparently, some). I can understand how absolutely infuriating it would be to deal with someone who would complain to my manager because I took 10 seconds to drop a salad off on my way to deliver an entree. It's insane.

 

[Kramodlog]

Yeah, but I am qualified to judge the service without having been a waiter myself. I mean I have some experience as a patron, I have reasonable expectations of good service and I accept errors, we all make some, but I can see bad service when it happens (which is rare).

 

[WayneLigon]

This article about a restaurant's experiment in no-tipping is pretty interesting. They do two things: fixed service fee AND no tips accepted. It's pretty interesting reading, esp part 3 where he argues that tipping is the cause of poor service. Another interesting fact to take from this - esp if you watch things like Restaurant Impossible - is how little profit restaurants make. Many - possibly even most - make none whatsoever; they're able to pay the owner for his time and that's it.

The first part has an interesting bit in it: some people would complain bitterly about not tipping, because they perceived they lost some ability to control the server's behavior. I wonder if this might have something to do with the fact that restaurant servers are almost the last vestige of 'servant' we have left in American culture.

 

[Bedrockgames]

Umm ... certain people posting in this thread are one of the reasons that I try to be as courteous as possible when dealing with wait staff and to tip well when deserved (which happens to be a lot more frequently than, apparently, some). I can understand how absolutely infuriating it would be to deal with someone who would complain to my manager because I took 10 seconds to drop a salad off on my way to deliver an entree. It's insane.

I think there are a few different kinds of people who make complaints. There are folks who get legitimately bad service and complain because they are rightly upset. I have no issue with this. If your service was bad, you have a right to complain because you spent money expecting good service and a good meal. But there are also people who are just waiting for an opportunity to be upset and complain. I suspect the guy who didn't leave a tip because the server was gay is just that type. These folks bring their own issues to the table and servers are a soft target for their anger (because most servers know not to react when someone insults them or berates them). You expect to encounter these sorts of people from time to time and that it just goes with the territory. But servers are human and on abdad day, these an pile up and really affect you. I have a pretty thick skin, and this sort of thing never really bothered me much (though i have some pretty good stories about customers insulting me in creative and unusual ways). And i am no longer in the service industry, so i dont put up with it anymore. My wife on the other hand works long days at restaurant and english isnt her first language. She speaks englis very well but has an accent. On days when she gets a few customers in a row that choose to berate her for "not learning the language" that has a big impact on her day and it is infuriating because she does speak english very well and some people just don't understand that speaking a language with an accent an slightly imperfect grammar doesn't mean you don't know the language (also it is not an american restauant so all the servers have accents). I see this most of the time as cases of people going into the restaurant with their own personal hang ups and going after an easy target.

so i have a lot of sympathy for what servers endure on a daily basis without really being able to say anything back. And when I see someone ready to drop the axe with a checklist of potential mistakes in hand, i have to question if they weren't just looking for a reason to be upset. That said, servers do have a job to do and you can't let those people impact your performance with other customers. Sometimes the customer is just being a jerk, but other times you made a mistake and need ot fix it. The good servers learn to distinguish the difference.

 

[Zombie_Babies]

so i have a lot of sympathy for what servers endure on a daily basis without really being able to say anything back. And when I see someone ready to drop the axe with a checklist of potential mistakes in hand, i have to question if they weren't just looking for a reason to be upset. That said, servers do have a job to do and you can't let those people impact your performance with other customers. Sometimes the customer is just being a jerk, but other times you made a mistake and need ot fix it. The good servers learn to distinguish the difference.

And that's what I see here: Someone with a checklist looking for failure. It's wrong. People often feel superior to waitstaff for whatever reason. They think it's some simple job and there's nothing to it. This leads them to treat people badly. It makes them think a server working efficiently by dropping off a salad on the way to deliver their entree is actually skipping them or ignoring them.

People do screw up massively and some people legitimately suck at their jobs. Complaining or not tipping well in those situations is ok to me. I don't typically get bent out of shape if an app is forgotten and delivered late - I won't lower my tip over something silly like that - but some do and I guess I can understand it. It's not my style, though. I like to get along with waitstaff ... especially bartenders ... for ... reasons.

At any rate, I have a friend in each camp, so to speak. One guy looks to complain. He wants an excuse to not tip or to get angry and complain. It's sick. Another, though? Legitimately more than half of the times I've eaten with him, regardless of whether it was fast food or sit down, something about an order he properly communicated gets screwed up. It's amazing. I've seen him have a steak sent to him improperly (over) cooked twice in a row. I don't know why it happens but it does. Thing is, he doesn't get all huffy and refuse to tip (er, he does get angry with fast food folks), he takes it in stride. Just weird that it happens to him so often. Like, I know he's not looking for a problem because I heard him make the order and see it come out wrong. Bad luck or something.

 

[jasper]

15% tipping rule or is 10% tipping rule or 20% tipping rule Which is it? I wish the law would change so wait staff got min wage. And then the tips were a bonus if I choose to add on. I generally do $2 per whole $10.

 

[Zombie_Babies]

15% tipping rule or is 10% tipping rule or 20% tipping rule Which is it? I wish the law would change so wait staff got min wage. And then the tips were a bonus if I choose to add on. I generally do $2 per whole $10.

I recently saw an article stating that the average tip seems to be trending 20%. What you're at is in line with what's expected, I guess. But yeah, if these people just got paid a livable wage to begin with ...