Mercedes Lackey Ejected From Nebula Conference For Using Racial Slur

[Hussar]

SFWA is more likely to say that she just revealed her actual bad think feelings and bury her further as admitting weakness to the mob is not their style.

I want to say you're wrong, but, this isn't the most unlikely result unfortunately. Hopefully cooler heads will prevail.

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

I want to say you're wrong, but, this isn't the most unlikely result unfortunately. Hopefully cooler heads will prevail.

I suspect if Ms. Lackey’s apology is publicly accepted by the person who first took umbrage, that will give the SFWA enough cover to de-escalate.

 

[Ixal]

Ms. Lackey made a slip of the tongue. She meant no harm, but clearly caused some. By apologizing for her mistake, she confirms to those who know her and illustrates to those who don’t that her word choice was merely a gaffe, and not a window to an unsuspected character flaw.

Was there really any harm done (to someone besides Lackey)? I will never understand the American definition of harm and how easily it gets thrown around.
Hearing a word you do not like, which many people do not even consider a slur, is not harm. Especially when you put it into context (something people seem to be able to do as otherwise they would constantly claim being harmed by rap songs which make use of the N word. Instead there are discussions about who is allowed to use the word and who not. So why not put this colored here into context?).
Its getting ridiculus with people getting offended by a country named Montenegro (actual example, there are tiktok videos about it) or that some languages have words that sound like the N word (and those people were aware that the others speak a different language).

And whats even more frightening is how normalized this outrage and the expected kowtow to the mob is and how many posters seem to ignore the collective punishment against Lackey's husband, a practice usually only associated with hardcore dictatorships.

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

Hearing a word you do not like, which many people do not even consider a slur, is not harm.

Not everyone shares that perspective.

Especially when you put it into context (something people seem to be able to do as otherwise they would constantly claim being harmed by rap songs which make use of the N word.

There’s a sizeable portion of the American black community that never cared for efforts to “reclaim” or “repurpose” that word, and still do not care for it to this day. The view articulated then was that it was misguided and ultimately confusing. Personally, while I do LISTEN to and enjoy rap that uses it, I really wish they had made different lyrical choices.

Its getting ridiculus with people getting offended by a country named Montenegro (actual example, there are tiktok videos about it) or that some languages have words that sound like the N word (and those people were aware that the others speak a different language).

I’m aware of that, and I’m sadly bemused by it. But the phenomenon ISN’T limited to variations on a racial slur’s sound. There’s a linguistic concept called “false friends”- words that sound alike and may even resemble words in other languages or other dialects, but have no actual relation to each other. For example, “mist” in English (a form of low lying cloud) and in German (manure) have completely different meanings. Or consider the differences between English and American uses of “rubber” and “fag”.

 

[Ixal]

Not everyone shares that perspective.

Which part, that hearing a word you dislike is not harm or that many people do not consider colored to be a slur (already implied by "many". At least the person Lackey spoke to did not consider it to be one according to her own statement).

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

The former.

 

[Ixal]

The former.

So is Montenegro existing causing harm? Or people speaking chinese?
You can find examples of people getting offended by that for both.

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

So is Montenegro existing causing harm? Or people speaking chinese?
You can find examples of people getting offended by that for both.

Montenegro contains a false friend.* That someone takes offense at it is easily rectified by explanation. See also Niger.

As for people speaking other languages, yes, people get upset about that. Some whenever it occurs, some only situationally.

But here’s the thing: you don‘t really have the power to tell someone not to be offended by something by your mere say-so. Trying to do so has a high probability of simply reinforcing their negative feelings. I mean, have you ever told your significant other to simply “not be angry” about something they were already very angry about? How did that work out?

You can’t control someone’s level of negativity, you can only control your response to it.


* See previous post that was probably edited while you were already responding, or this link:

False friend - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

 

[Ixal]

Montenegro contains a false friend.* That someone takes offense at it is easily rectified by explanation. See also Niger.

As for people speaking other languages, yes, people get upset about that. Some whenever it occurs, some only situationally.

But here’s the thing: you don‘t really have the power to tell someone not to be offended by something by your mere say-so. Trying to do so has a high probability of simply reinforcing their negative feelings. I mean, have you ever told your significant other to simply “not be angry” about something they were already very angry about? How did that work out?

You can’t control someone’s level of negativity, you can only control your response to it.


* See previous post that was probably edited while you were already responding, or this link:

False friend - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

Explanation does not help in all cases. The one about speaking chinese were made aware that it was in another language and what its translation is before the word was used. Yet they still got offended, complained and there were job related consequences because of it (luckily not permanent ones).
Its the na-ge incident from USC if you want to look it up. It was in the news.

Making "someone is getting offended" the only scale for when actual harm is done is ridiculus because you can always find people who get offended about something, including things they are completely uninformed about like Montenegro existing. Especially when it more often then not creates an outcry on social media, requires public apologies and often has real world consequences like the loss of a job.
At some point you have to say "when you get offended by that its on you and just hearing the word does not cause harm".

In the US the word harm seems to become more and more a synonym for slight discomfort.

 

[Cadence]

Explanation does not help in all cases. The one about speaking chinese were made aware that it was in another language and what its translation is before the word was used. Yet they still got offended, complained and there were job related consequences because of it (luckily not permanent ones).
Its the na-ge incident from USC if you want to look it up. It was in the news.

Making "someone is getting offended" the only scale for when actual harm is done is ridiculus because you can always find people who get offended about something, including things they are completely uninformed about like Montenegro existing. Especially when it more often then not creates an outcry on social media, requires public apologies and often has real world consequences like the loss of a job.
At some point you have to say "when you get offended by that its on you and just hearing the word does not cause harm".

In the US the word harm seems to become more and more a synonym for slight discomfort.

Which feels like it quickly becomes all complaints are baseless and folks should just put up with whatever slurs colleagues, employers, customers want to hurl at them.

Processes can almost always be made better. By itself, not being perfect seems an odd reason to throw out a process instead of improving it, since nothing is perfect - even things that can have bad real-world consequences.

Bullied LGBTQ+ kids committing suicide, black employees finding nooses in lockers until they quit their jobs, women being mocked behind closed doors by male supervisors and paid less in line with the stereotypes, etc... are all real world consequences too.