What is the largest animal that you think you could beat in a fight?

[Old Fezziwig]

I reckon I could take a guinea pig on without too much of a problem. I've heard sheep are dumb, so I like my odds there if I can get a few licks in before it realizes it's in a fight. I feel good about my chances with parakeets and cockatiels, but I'd lose to parrots and cockatoos. So, really, what I'm saying is most animals would beat me in a fight, unless we're using Queensberry rules, in which case I'm in with a chance. (Having been attacked by a dog before, I feel confident saying any dog would beat me in just about any circumstances.)

Related, a guy I knew when I lived in North Carolina apparently had a conversation with some of his friends about something similar, which the friends then turned into a song. If I remember correctly, the conversation was at a party, and folks had been drinking. It's at this link, track 3 on Family Planning, "Jeremy vs the Bobcat." (Track 4, "Mindreader," is a funnier and better song, for what it's worth.)

 

[DrunkonDuty]

I know for a fact I can't win in a fight with own cat. Scars to prove it. Luckily he only fights when I try to tickle his belly.

 

[Deset Gled]

I think one important questions is how you define victory. I'm certain I could survive a fight with a much larger/dangerous-er animal if I was willing to give up a few fingers, or maybe even a limb. In real life, though, I'm not willing to make that sacrifice. Also, immediate medical care afterward would make a big difference in survivability.

 

[schneeland]

I’m old and in pretty bad shape, but living on the countryside I know for shure I can win against a mouse.

Well, if not, than at least you will weaken it, which then will allow me to defeat the ferocious beast.

Potentially I could even take a larger beast than a mouse. But only if the fight does not need to be fair and in true OSR fashion, I have enough options to trick another beast into fighting the best that was originally attacking me.

 

[Thourne]

Hah, you wont get me!
It is a trick question!
The real victory comes from avoiding the fight, so any animal

 

[DeviousQuail]

Bigger doesn't necessarily mean badder. I've seen a pretty big guy mauled by a badger (small). I've also seen a small-ish guy lick an alligator (not small). There's a lot more than goes into this equation than size. [Edit: That said, I'm gonna go alligator, as well. There's a technique that will allow even small guys and gals to wrastle a gator. And I am not small.]

Bigger =/= badder, but mass matters. I'd prefer to have that advantage when fighting. As for gators, that might be up there for biggest animal any human could realistically fight if they know what they're doing. I'm not nearly as knowledgeable about gators as dogs though so don't count me as part of team gator fighter.

 

[MarkB]

Heck, I don't even take on insects without an electronic zapper.

 

[Sacrosanct]

I'm not a magic user, so at least a house cat.

 

[Whizbang Dustyboots]

Manatees are pretty big. I think I could probably take one of those in the unlikely event the manatee and I could not resolve our differences peacefully.

Taking on a famously pacifistic animal is the way to go.

 

[payn]

With my skills, a Liger would have no chance.