Silly Putty Comic Summer 2005 - (Winner posted!)

Bront said:

Um, this should be easy... monkeys are funny... right?

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It seemed to work for BJ and the Bear...

Yes, very tough. And that punchline... every thing I came up with was gramma non friendly.

here was my least lame attempt:

A rather civilised ogre wanders into town and goes into the the bar. he walks up to the bar and politely greets the serving wench.

"Oh my", she replies "You're huge. Are you a giant?"

The ogre replies "No'm"

"Well I never. I thought you guys all had beards. And that's the best use of the Enlarge spell I've ever seen."


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Please do not read this joke while operating heavy machinery.

Post deleted to keep all judgements in one posts.

If you need a fill-in for round 2, I'd like to give it a try.

If not, then I'll continue reading and - hopefully - laughing

demiurge1138 v. DaveMage - Judgement

Rel said:

DaveMage - I feel your pain, DaveMage. I disagree with your premise that "I thought you said 'Beaver Swap'?!" is not a funny punchline but I couldn't think of a joke for it either. Fortunately that wasn't my job.

I like the "Top 10 List" format but the individual items were a bit hit and miss for me. Some I found funny and some not so much. I do give you credit for trying to make a silk fannypack from a sow's ear.

demiurge1138-Is this the best joke in all of jokedom? I think even demiurge would admit that it's not in the top 5. But considering what you had to work with, there is just something awful funny about the idea of Jerry Mathers bound and gagged in the trunk of a car. It has a certain "Goodfella's Gone Wild" quality that I find funny and appealing.

Judgement - I give the nod to demiurge here.

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Joshua_Dyal said:

DaveMage - gotta give him credit for the top ten list; that was a clever way *around* the point of the exercise, though.

demiurge1138 - Jerry Mathers tied up in the trunk of a car was a funny image to me. Not only that, it very cleverly used the punchline.

Judgement - I give demiurge the win.

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reveal said:

DaveMage - A good try with a hard punchline. Like Rel, I disagree that it's not a funny punchline. There are many ways to make something that seems to only fit a dirty joke into a clean joke. A play on words, Beaver Swap rhymes with X, is usually the safest route. I really like the idea of a top ten list and some of your lines are great but, overall, there are more chances for non-funny material. Definitely a strong first effort.

demiurge1138 - This is a very funny joke. Great play on words and the image of Jerry Mathers tied up in the trunk struck me as really silly. The only problem I had with it was that it required the audience to know who Jerry Mathers actually is. For example, I told it to my wife and she had no idea who he was. I told her he was the Beaver on Leave it to Beaver and she thought it was funny. A good use of a punchline that could have made a great dirty joke.

Judgement - Gotta go with demiurge1138 on this one.

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demiurge1138 wins 3 - 0 and advances to the next round. DaveMage, don't let this discourage you from trying this again for the next Silly Putty DM.

Since this is the first time this has ever been done, I'm going to be a little lenient. Renton, since you posted a joke I will put you into the next round.

reveal said:

demiurge1138 v. DaveMage - Judgement

demiurge1138 wins 3 - 0 and advances to the next round. DaveMage, don't let this discourage you from trying this again for the next Silly Putty DM.

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Actually, considering how hard it was - I may be the real winner.

demiurge1138 - best of luck - go out and win the whole thing so I can say I lost to the best!

reveal said:

Since this is the first time this has ever been done, I'm going to be a little lenient. Renton, since you posted a joke I will put you into the next round.

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Dee-fault. The two sweetest words in the English language!

Didn't really expect to win this one; the judges liked that joke a lot more than I did.

Demiurge out.

Well, if one monkey is funny, and more monkeys is funnier, I figured I'd aim my sights high.
Anyway, it's a try. Here goes nothing:

Once there was a great wizard. He was getting on in years, and was growing tired of copying down his spells on his scroll. Fortunately during his travels, he had come across a magic lamp that had 3 wishes. Deciding that now was better than never, he rubbed the lamp, and the genie appeared.

“Greetings my master, I can grant you any three wishes you desire,” said the genie. The wizard says “Well, I’m tired of copying all my spells down on scrolls. I wish I could find a way to scribe a lot of scrolls without actually doing it myself.”

“Your wish is my command,” said the genie, who waved his hand and a door appeared in the wizard’s study. The wizard opened the door and saw a vast room filled with monkeys writing things on parchment. The wizard asked “What is this?” The genie replied “It’s a room of infinite monkeys writing scrolls. Not everyone will be a gem, but you should get plenty of magical scrolls from this.” “Wow, thanks genie” said the wizard and the genie returned to the magical lamp.

After a while, the wizard had piles of scrolls, but he didn’t have time to sort out the good from the worthless, so he called on the genie again. “Master, you have two more wishes left,” said the genie. The wizard says “I wish I had a way to sort through all these scrolls easily.” The genie replied “Your wish is my command” and another door appeared. Behind that door was another room filled with monkeys, each had a wand. They began grabbing piles of scrolls, and sorting them using the wand. The wizard examined one of the smaller piles and said “wow, this great. It’s a scroll of polymorph.”

”Thanks genie, but I have to ask, what’s with the monkeys?” asked the wizard. The genie replied, “Well, the gods think that wishes are so powerful, that they want them twisted in some foul way. I don’t like that, so I try to do it as simply as possible. There’s nothing worse than a room full of monkeys, so I like to use them.” The wizard nodded and said “Interesting. I wish I could find an easy way to experiment with wishes, this is fascinating.” The genie grimaced and waved his hands.

A third door appeared in the wizard’s study and the lamp and the genie disappeared. The wizard opened it to find a bunch of monkeys waiting in line. The first one in line had the lamp, and was rubbing it, made 3 wishes with the genie, and then moved on, letting the next one in line do the same. As the monkeys continued, the constant wishing tore at the fabric of reality till it was ripped apart, and everything swirled into the wizard’s tower in a huge implosion of all things. When the blast had settled, the wizard was left in the room with the genie and all the monkeys they’d summoned.

“What happened?” asked the wizard. The genie replied “To fulfill your wish, I made a room full of an infinite number of monkeys to make three wishes each. Unfortunately, it was too much for the world to take, so it looks like it destroyed everything.” “So we’re stuck here forever now?” Asked the wizard, and the genie nodded. The wizard sighed and said “Well, you were right about one thing. There’s nothing worse than a room full of monkeys.”