14 year old girl wants to join my game

Arrgh! Mark! · Oct 20, 2007

Greetings, all.

A strange event occured recently; I recieved an email from my yahoo group messageboard from a random person wanting to play. Logically enough I asked a few questions - how old, what games did they like, that sort of thing - and got back a message that it was a 14 year old and she likes Shadowrun.

By profession I'm a teacher, and while I have no theoretical problem with gaming with a young girl (Always good to increase the gamers around the place) but I could see a bunch of real problems. Anyway, I sent an email back saying it would be unlikely, there's the problems of off-colour jokes, language and the like and that I'd have to meet and greet her parents if anything was to happen at all. Also, I mentioned that there were other options for her - there's a place in town that organises gamers together. I haven't recieved a message back as yet. Her original e-mail read like it was mature and she mentioned that she had already spoken with her parents about the fact she was talking to people over the internet.

Our group is a bunch of professionals and my ball-and-chain, a group going back 10 years of play-time. We've always had an open door policy of new people, though we've never had a problem of younger kids in the game.

Has anyone else had any experiences with this? Advice, or problems?

MoogleEmpMog · Oct 20, 2007

I've had guys that young join ongoing campaigns with no problems. A young lady about that age considered joining once (she was a semi-regular Magic player in our extended group), but decided to stick with the collectible card side of things because she a) preferred it and b) didn't want to put the time in to play an RPG.

So - no problems, but not much advice, either. :\

Klaus · Oct 20, 2007

Arrgh! Mark! said:
Greetings, all.

A strange event occured recently; I recieved an email from my yahoo group messageboard from a random person wanting to play. Logically enough I asked a few questions - how old, what games did they like, that sort of thing - and got back a message that it was a 14 year old and she likes Shadowrun.

By profession I'm a teacher, and while I have no theoretical problem with gaming with a young girl (Always good to increase the gamers around the place) but I could see a bunch of real problems. Anyway, I sent an email back saying it would be unlikely, there's the problems of off-colour jokes, language and the like and that I'd have to meet and greet her parents if anything was to happen at all. Also, I mentioned that there were other options for her - there's a place in town that organises gamers together. I haven't recieved a message back as yet. Her original e-mail read like it was mature and she mentioned that she had already spoken with her parents about the fact she was talking to people over the internet.

Our group is a bunch of professionals and my ball-and-chain, a group going back 10 years of play-time. We've always had an open door policy of new people, though we've never had a problem of younger kids in the game.

Has anyone else had any experiences with this? Advice, or problems?

She's a minor.

Talking to parents first is a must.

DaveMage · Oct 20, 2007

Klaus said:
She's a minor.

Talking to parents first is a must.

Yep.

CanadienneBacon · Oct 20, 2007

I ran a game once when I was in my early 30's that included my husband, my closest female friend, her husband, and a young chap--aged 18--who responded to a messageboard post of mine over at WotC's old Gamers Classified. I'd posted that I had a game and was looking for an additional player. The 18-year-old responded, then brought in his father to play as well. About six months into the game, the 18-year-old asked me if he could invite his 15-year-old friend. I agreed. The game worked out nicely.

I suspect that the success of our having included a minor hinged on the inclusion of a "3rd-party parent," so to speak. The dad of the 18-year-old knew the 15-year-old's parents independent of our gaming group and could vouch for us. It helped that we had an extra adult at the table who knew the 15-year-old and his family.

Odhanan · Oct 20, 2007

Arrgh! Mark! said:
Greetings, all.

A strange event occured recently; I recieved an email from my yahoo group messageboard from a random person wanting to play. Logically enough I asked a few questions - how old, what games did they like, that sort of thing - and got back a message that it was a 14 year old and she likes Shadowrun.

By profession I'm a teacher, and while I have no theoretical problem with gaming with a young girl (Always good to increase the gamers around the place) but I could see a bunch of real problems. Anyway, I sent an email back saying it would be unlikely, there's the problems of off-colour jokes, language and the like and that I'd have to meet and greet her parents if anything was to happen at all. Also, I mentioned that there were other options for her - there's a place in town that organises gamers together. I haven't recieved a message back as yet. Her original e-mail read like it was mature and she mentioned that she had already spoken with her parents about the fact she was talking to people over the internet.

Our group is a bunch of professionals and my ball-and-chain, a group going back 10 years of play-time. We've always had an open door policy of new people, though we've never had a problem of younger kids in the game.

Has anyone else had any experiences with this? Advice, or problems?

I gamed with (much) younger people before.

I think that if that isn't a problem to you and the other guys at the game table, then you should certainly meet her and the parents as well so that they know where she's putting her feet. Then, anything can happen really. Maybe she'll prove to be an excellent addition to the group, who knows? Children can be surprising at times. I would give her a chance, especially since your first contact with her was good.

Michael Morris · Oct 20, 2007

Arrgh! Mark! said:
Greetings, all.

A strange event occured recently; I recieved an email from my yahoo group messageboard from a random person wanting to play. Logically enough I asked a few questions - how old, what games did they like, that sort of thing - and got back a message that it was a 14 year old and she likes Shadowrun.

By profession I'm a teacher, and while I have no theoretical problem with gaming with a young girl (Always good to increase the gamers around the place) but I could see a bunch of real problems. Anyway, I sent an email back saying it would be unlikely, there's the problems of off-colour jokes, language and the like and that I'd have to meet and greet her parents if anything was to happen at all. Also, I mentioned that there were other options for her - there's a place in town that organises gamers together. I haven't recieved a message back as yet. Her original e-mail read like it was mature and she mentioned that she had already spoken with her parents about the fact she was talking to people over the internet.

Our group is a bunch of professionals and my ball-and-chain, a group going back 10 years of play-time. We've always had an open door policy of new people, though we've never had a problem of younger kids in the game.

Has anyone else had any experiences with this? Advice, or problems?

Ditto on the getting the parent's ok. I also insisted that at no time would she be at my apartment alone. It also helped that she wasn't the only girl their.

As to off color jokes she was worse than the boys by far and away. They never made her blush but she got them to blush multiple times.

Darklone · Oct 20, 2007

You said you're a teacher so you'll know how to treat the situation... Parents first and never be alone with her

Best idea would be IMHO if she would bring one or several friends (male or female) along.

Aeric · Oct 20, 2007

I ran into a similar situation with my (LARP) group a couple of years ago. There are several of us who are teachers, and when someone who was under 18 wanted to join the group, we were told that the teachers could get into serious trouble for it. I don't remember the exact reasons given or rules quoted (I'm not a teacher myself), but you should definitely check out your district's policy on such things. It might not be something that they ever found out about, but it's best to be sure.

Henry · Oct 20, 2007

Smart Man.

You handled it to a "T". Personally, I wouldn't even do it unless the parents were gaming WITH us, but that's just my paranoia in today's world talking.

14 year old girl wants to join my game

Arrgh! Mark!

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