14 year old girl wants to join my game

[Thurbane]

I stand by my statement; if you're concerned about false accusations, there's no reason the age should make much of a difference. People of any age can make false accusations of molestation.

Please remember that much of this discussion is about the "court of public opinion", not just purely legal issues. Society, in general, holds certain views, and certain preconceptions. Is it sad and regreattable? Probably. Is it a relaism? Definitely.

Please don't try to play the "sexism card" here, as it is only peripherally relevant anyway. I cant vouch for the majority of other posters, but my own views about a 14yo boy joining my game would be much the same as a 14yo girl - I wouldn't allow it, for the myriad of reasons already stated by me and many others.

And I don't believe that it would be no different if the person was a young man. 14-year old boys surrounded by adult males (possibly with a few adult females) happens all the time in our society, like the Boy Scouts. 14-year old boys surrounded by female adults happens occasionally. However, 14-year old girls surrounded by a mostly male group of adults doesn't happen, ever, and people would be concerned about a situation where that could occur.

Oh yeah, and there is so few instances of abuse in the Scouts, isn't there...

Just curious, how many of the people saying the girl should join the game are actually parents or have dealt firsthand with the nightmare of abuse. I'm guessing not many.

To weigh up the disappointment of a 14yo not getting to join an adult game to the potential devastation that false claims could cause or the remote possibility of actual abuse is like weighing your heart against a feather. To suggest people are being bigoted or narrowminded for feeling this way is, IMHO, the most ludicrous thing I've heard in a long time.

For crying out loud, were talking about suggesting the girl try to find a gaming group more her own age, not suggesting she should be imprisoned in a Nunnery until she is 18.

 

[fusangite]

So, aside from fear of modern witchcraft allegations, are there any reasons of substance that have been raised here for not including a mature adolescent?

 

[Felix]

So, aside from fear of modern witchcraft allegations, are there any reasons of substance that have been raised here for not including a mature adolescent?

Part of the charm of gaming is drinking beer, telling ribald stories, farting, and other equally wholesome diversions.

As mature as that adolescent may be, it's going to change how comfortable I feel about doing those things; I want my gaming environment to be the kind I don't feel embarrassed to let one rip after telling the Midget Hooker With A Suitcase joke.

 

[Dire Bare]

I stand by my statement; if you're concerned about false accusations, there's no reason the age should make much of a difference. People of any age can make false accusations of molestation.

If an adult woman, or man, falsely accuses me of molestation or harrassment, it's unlikely I would be convicted in a court of law. Outside of the courts, it's also unlikely the "case" would make the news or that I would suffer any lasting harm, social, legal or otherwise. As our legal system is less than perfect, if I actually did happen to be convicted despite my innocence, after my jail time I would be able to reenter society and rebuild my life.

If an underage girl, or boy, falsely accuses me of molestation, it's also unlikely I'll be convicted in a court of law. But it is, however, extremely likely I'll lose my job and career as a teacher. My "case" will get into at least the local media, if not national media, and I'll be forever viewed by many ignorant folk as the molester that got away. Neighbors, coworkers, future employers, future dates . . . this isn't just a paranoid fantasy, but a reality for more than a few former teachers. And, as our legal system is less than perfect, if a paranoid and overprotective jury decides to indict despite my innocence, then I not only go to jail for a very long time, but I'm treated lovingly by guards and fellow inmates because a convicted child abuser makes murderers and rapists angry. And once I finally get out of jail, I am forever branded a "child molester" and a "statutory rapist", which would make it near impossible for me to get a job, find a place to live, and reenter society to rebuild my life. I would have very few options, and they would all be bad.

And that's why I will never allow an underage girl or boy into any of my D&D games, or any other nominally adult social activity. I find it sad, because I am a teacher and I love hanging out and having fun with kids. I would enjoy having a mature and responsible young adult in my gaming group. But because I am a teacher, it's never going to happen.

Simple, really.

 

[fusangite]

Part of the charm of gaming is drinking beer, telling ribald stories, farting, and other equally wholesome diversions.

I've been in some gaming groups that have centred around that dynamic and, I agree, I wouldn't invite a female adolescent (or of any age for that matter) to be part of that scene. But this is true of a minority of groups.

As mature as that adolescent may be, it's going to change how comfortable I feel about doing those things;

Totally fair. I once nixed adding a female player to a game for exactly this reason. But many groups don't have that dynamic; it's really about fitting the right person to the right social dynamic, not hard and fast prohibitions based around age, gender or whatever.

I want my gaming environment to be the kind I don't feel embarrassed to let one rip after telling the Midget Hooker With A Suitcase joke.

Even in my most woman-unfriendly, child-unfriendly play dynamics, I really try not to encourage public flatulence. I realize it's just a matter of taste but I want as little biological information about my players as possible.

 

[Fathead]

Anyway, I sent an email back saying it would be unlikely

You made the right choice! She might have had cooties...

You never can be too careful.

 

[Dire Bare]

Even in my most woman-unfriendly, child-unfriendly play dynamics, I really try not to encourage public flatulence. I realize it's just a matter of taste but I want as little biological information about my players as possible.

Heh, yeah, I've never understood some guys belief that "guy's night out" has to include lots of farting. I don't want to have to wear a mask or bring spray air freshener to a game, or take frequent breaks from the room just to survive the evening!

I had a gaming group made up of a number of my good friends, but I had to make excuses and bow out of the game because the gaming room became so rank and nasty. Why is it "funny" and "manly" to let go of your bodily functions in a small and enclosed space?

Oh well, it just makes it that much harder to find a good game . . .

 

[Piratecat]

We're so, so done here.