“I never had any friends later on, like the ones I had when I was sixteen…does anyone?”

[HawaiiSteveO]

“I never had any friends later on, like the ones I had when I was sixteen…does anyone?”



Tried getting a few groups together to play and none have really taken off.

I realized one of the reasons I wanted to play again was to try and recapture the feeling of playing with my buddies back in the day. Of course I can't, no one can. Still, it's more fun to play with friends you already have, rather than strangers who share the same interest.

Guys take so dang long to make friends and we're all a bunch of lone rangers!

Any tips / suggestions etc for new gaming groups made up of people who are strangers to each other?

 

[Ralif Redhammer]

I still game with one of my friends that I gamed with when I was sixteen…but he’s my twin, so I’m kinda stuck with him.

Outside of con play, I really only game with my friends, so take my advice with a grain of salt. What I think is important is the following:

Finding a neutral place to game – like a game shop, coffee shop, library, etc. Maybe I’m just a private person, but I hate the thought of strangers showing up to my house. Others might be similarly uncomfortable to show up at a strangers house in turn, too.

I think keeping a strong gaming schedule is also important, so that people can schedule the time in advance.

And finally, don’t tolerate bad behavior. If someone does something disruptive or rude, don’t let it stand without comment. Since these aren’t your friends, you’re not stuck with them.

If there’s a local Adventurers League organized play group, you could look into that. And if not, you could always start one yourself.

 

[not-so-newguy]

In the same boat as you. Only solution I can come up with is joining AL and find some folks there. I've been playing there, off and on, for close to a year now. Although I have found some people I'd be willing to start a game, it's still difficult to get those people on the same schedule.

Another piece of cliché advice that I remind myself: Be willing to enjoy other RPG's or other styles of play. Limiting yourself, game-wise, can shut out the possibility of getting that home group you want.

 

[Morrus]

That's a pretty much universal experience, I'm afraid.

 

[Greenfield]

Wouldn't know. I didn't have any friends when I was 16.

D&D hadn't been written yet.

 

[billd91]

Consider doing stuff other than just gaming with them - become friends. I play with people who aren't the same people I played with back when I was 16, but as the groups evolved over time and people joined or left, we've always made time to do other things together - particularly movie nights. We also occasionally go to bars, watch football, and so on. Once you're doing that sort of thing, then gaming together is an awful lot like playing with buddies back when you were 16. It's just now we're in a group ranging from mid-30s to early-50s with a few other responsibilities (like chasing kids to bed).

 

[Ezequielramone]

- My experience tell me that having similar age should (in most cases) make the group to become friends faster. Still if someone is in from another generation, the ones that share the same age should "guide/help" him to understand them and the older or younger one should make his effort to be part of the group. Not big deal, but things could go wrong if not.
- Sometimes one person comes with one or more players whom are friends, that's good to. If we are playing, and you save the life of one of my companion, then you are a valuable character in the group. BUT, if you save my friend's life, then you sr, become my friend too.
- Also I realized that, having good games without bad intentions between any player (including the DM) will help. Sooner or later you become friend of those who face dead with you, those who share their meat with you in a cold campsite in a remote mountain.
- The player's handbook says: "If you don't have friends interested in playing, don't worry. There's a special alchemy that takes place around a D&D table that nothing else can match. Play the game with someone enough, and the two of you are likely to en up friends." And that is DAMN right.
- Having a schedule to play is really important, if you cancel one session you have to put much more effort to make next session happend. The group has to know this is real s***.
- We often play till night, so having dinner together as a break and chating about things (D&D related or not) is a great thing.
- Also asking people you already know (and that knows you) for advice or recomendation about who could join your company of heroes is a good thing.
- Asking and knowing about "real life" about your companion is a great way to enforce ties.
Most of the times people come to my house, I like to keep everybody happy and I'm like the one who set schedule and the one asked to add new players, so always I can assure most of those things
None of my friends from the real world play D&D, but the new ones I got have the same "level of friendship", damn I'm going to a wedding of my Dragonlance DM. We do things together beside D&D.

 

[Dandu]

Any tips / suggestions etc for new gaming groups made up of people who are strangers to each other?

Go out and do things together!

 

[Nytmare]

I'd say shoot for a large gaming group (or any other large nerdy hobby gathering), and then let it all tumble out naturally from there.


[EDIT] http://www.meetup.com/Calgary-Geek-Social-Club/ ?

 

[KenNYC]

I have found meetup.com very helpful in finding game players. There is usually a game meetip in every decent sized city, and while it is not perfect and pot luck on who you play with, over the years I have made good friends from these strangers. Now, while still attending the larger events posted online, we also get together privately for games, as friends do, and sometimes not games as well.