D&D 5E 101 Kender Apocalypse Ideas

[Zardnaar]

I think it is official. Excusing some obscure source book I think Kender my be the worst race even released for a D&D product that is vaguely familiar/popular. So bad are they I actually prefer Nerath over Krynn. As an added bonus Krynn also has gully Dwarves. Give me giant hamster powered spelljamming ships any day of the week (Tinkers in SJ were also annoying).

For newer players What is a Kender? Think a kleptomaniac halfling with the common sense the gods gace a gerbil and the preservation instincts of an ant on crack driving a dune buggy into a volcano.

In my Kender apocalypse thread I detailed an idea for a new D&D AP where the Kender are wiped out from the multiverse. I had had a few more ideas however. THe goal s to com up with 101 reasons to wipe out the Kender infestation from the D&D multiverse.



1. Drop the Spelljammer on Kenderhome using a psychic helm to wipe them out.

2. As much as 4E Realms is hated they had one decent idea and that was dropping a continent on Unther. Relocate that idea to Krynn, eastern Anasalon.

3. Steal the TARDIS and rewrite DL history. Tassalhoff is now actually a kleptomaniac halfling with personality disorder and an aberration for the race. Also make him a female.

4. Dragons need to eat as well.

5. They are a key component in creating Dragonlances.

 

[transtemporal]

Oh, I thought you meant Dragonlance would be destroyed by a Kender Apocalypse.

I can't support destruction of Kender. They are a cool race. If anything, Fizban and Elminster should elevate them to a race of god beings so they can go to other settings and spread cheer and irrepressible curiosity. And Drizzt can be there too leading the cheer.

 

[Zardnaar]

Oh, I thought you meant Dragonlance would be destroyed by a Kender Apocalypse.

I can't support destruction of Kender. They are a cool race. If anything, Fizban and Elminster should elevate them to a race of god beings so they can go to other settings and spread cheer and irrepressible curiosity. And Drizzt can be there too leading the cheer.

So so cruel.

 

[Eltab]

What is a Kender?

You are way too down on ... well, almost everything.

A Kender is another take on Siegfried in Wagner's Ring Cycle (that 4-day-long opera): the man with no fear.

Additionally, in the most famous case, that character (1) is also the comic relief of the group, and (2) his common sense only kicks in as an Immediate Reaction to being in mortal danger.

 

[Eltab]

Fizban and Elminster should elevate -Kender- to a race of god beings so they can go to other settings and spread cheer and irrepressible curiosity.

Starting with Mordenkainen; he needs to lighten up about himself a bit.

 

[Imaculata]

Wipe them out... all of them...

 

[Ath-kethin]

Wipe them out... all of them...

Yes! Yes! Fizban, Elminster, Mordenkainen, and all the uber-NPCs must die!

 

[Coroc]

I think it is official. Excusing some obscure source book I think Kender my be the worst race even released for a D&D product that is vaguely familiar/popular. So bad are they I actually prefer Nerath over Krynn. As an added bonus Krynn also has gully Dwarves. Give me giant hamster powered spelljamming ships any day of the week (Tinkers in SJ were also annoying).

For newer players What is a Kender? Think a kleptomaniac halfling with the common sense the gods gace a gerbil and the preservation instincts of an ant on crack driving a dune buggy into a volcano.

In my Kender apocalypse thread I detailed an idea for a new D&D AP where the Kender are wiped out from the multiverse. I had had a few more ideas however. THe goal s to com up with 101 reasons to wipe out the Kender infestation from the D&D multiverse.



1. Drop the Spelljammer on Kenderhome using a psychic helm to wipe them out.

2. As much as 4E Realms is hated they had one decent idea and that was dropping a continent on Unther. Relocate that idea to Krynn, eastern Anasalon.

3. Steal the TARDIS and rewrite DL history. Tassalhoff is now actually a kleptomaniac halfling with personality disorder and an aberration for the race. Also make him a female.

4. Dragons need to eat as well.

5. They are a key component in creating Dragonlances.

Does not work since a kender just borrowed the spelljamming helm of the ship.
(Just to keep it safe of course)
Since his kender family also procreate like rabbits in the cargo hold, where there are so many shiny things, after a long journey through the phlogistron they crashlanded in chult instead and they overrun the jungle now. (OOMG I did give out an unintended spoiler for the upcoming D&D campaign )

 

[BoldItalic]

I was going to post in this thread, but someone small and cute seems to have 'borrowed' the Reply box.

 

[Taronkov]

6) Tinker Gnomes develop nukes to kill the chromatic dragons. They have to build them in kender home for some reason though(that's where the uranium is) and the kender blow themselves sky high.

7) Secure facility that is filled with colorful clothes and shiny objects. In the middle of it is Specters that kill the kender as they try to loot the stuff. Call it the Kender Gardens.

8) Kender sized water slide that ejects you onto a pool of lava. Convince them that there is a pie at the bottom that is delicious. Watch the great spectacle as they act like lemmings.