101 Magic Items nobody needs.

[Andor]

Magic items that were just plain bad thinking.

1. Shocking, burning, acidic, sonic, frost TP.

2. Brilliant Energy Athletic Suporter.

3. Decanter of Endless Nothing.

4. Deck of Many Plushies.

 

[Heckler]

5. Heward's Handy Chamberpot (cuz D&D characters never go potty)

 

[freyar]

6. Chia Golem

7. Plush Golem

 

[Asmor]

8. The way my group plays, any merciful weapon.

 

[Darkness]

9. Trousers of shrinking. Their only power is to magically change their size to fit someone who's one size category smaller than the person trying to put them on.

 

[blargney the second]

10. Ring of feather fall - any time you drop more than five feet, the ring automatically creates an unsupported feather.

 

[blargney the second]

11. Ehlonna's inefficient quiver - whatever you're looking for, it's always at the bottom.

 

[Agent Oracle]

12: Paddock of the Titans: A great green field where several titans wander about.

13: Ring of laser globe of invulnerability: render the wearer immune to all manner of light amplification by stimulated emission of radiation. Sadly, no weapons in D&D inflict damage by amplifying light with stimulated radiation.

14: Seven League Boots: No amount of ice can help the tremendous groin strain that you get when you put one foot 24.5 miles ahead of the other...

 

[Oryan77]

Here's a few that I actually have in Akin's 'The Friendly Fiend' magic shop (in Sigil). It's the only magic shop in my campaign and everything he carries is pretty pointless:

15. Vampire Goggles - protects a vampires eyes from sunlight (but not the rest of its body)

16. Cigar of Everburning - Cigar is always lit on fire but doesn't burn, isn't hot, & the tobacco isn't real (but you'll look cool).

17. Quill of Calligraphy - Have sloppy handwriting? This quill writes in a beautiful calligraphy style.

18. Bandanna of Ever-Present Perspiration - Cools down body temperature but causes unstoppable sweating.

19. Halberd of Rat Slaying - +5 enchantment bonus vs rats.

20. Cloak of Indefinitely Blowing Wind - There always appears to be a draft blowing this cloak around (I had a player actually buy this for his rogue so he always looks amazing while standing infront of people).

 

[Teflon Billy]

21. Potion of Gassiest Form