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D&D 4E 4E in Car-speak: "No Sale"

Old_Skool

Explorer
There are a lot of threads floating around about the upcoming 4E, and opinions of the new edition range from deliriously ecstatic to biliously nasty and everything in between. This is the Internet, after all.

Well, I like cars...to an unhealthy degree, I think. So I thought I would express my thoughts on the upcoming 4th Edition with the metaphors I am most familiar with. At the very least, it will be more entertaining and insightful than the usual dreck. :)

I pre-ordered the 4E books on Amazon, and I can't wait to read them...but I have no plans to switch to the 4E system, certainly not while my group still loves playing the 3.5E game. You don't mess with group synergy, people. When you've got a good gaming group...one that works together, one that can't wait for the next session, one that spends the work week e-mailing each other back and forth about character builds and plot hooks...well, you have something rare. You shouldn't screw around with that.

In car-speak, that would be like overhauling the engine just to change the oil.

When it comes to 4E, some people sound like auto mechanics...all they want to talk about is how much my car sucks and why. Look at all of the work that needs to be done on it, they say, just to make it run as well as the next car. This part is broken, that one is worn out, and nobody uses that one anymore. Blah, blah.

Other people talk like pushy car salesmen. This newer model is so much better, so much faster, so much more efficient, only a crazy person would ever settle for less. The new model is a sublime machine, perfect in every way...any kinks or flaws in it are "features." Just...just look how shiny it is!

Some folks sound like an extremist environmentalist group...all cars are bad; people should ditch their rides and go back to bicycles. Ever since the internal combustion engine was developed in AD&D, pollution of the game has been rampant, our gaming sessions are gridlocked with congestion, and our legal system is clogged by unnecessary regulations. Not only should I not buy the new car, I should sell my old one and pedal my way to work everyday.

The thing is, my car isn't broken and I love to drive her. She runs great, gets good gas mileage, and takes me and my friends everywhere we need to go. The seats are broken-in, the wheels are custom, the paint is cherry, and the sound system rocks. When I turn the key she purrs like a kitten; when I press the throttle she roars like a tiger.

I've spent years tricking out the body and tuning the engine. Parts that I could not find at the store, I have fabricated myself in my own shop. I've bought only the upgrades that I like, tweaking the horsepower and speed without sacrificing the handling. My custom 3.5E will take the Pepsi Challenge against anyone's ride, anytime.

Now, I've seen the new model on the showroom floor and man, it sure looks sweet. It looks low and fast and tight, with all the latest gadgets and high-efficiency equipment installed standard, man. They say it will go from zero to sixty in three-point-three, and they say it gets a hundred miles to the gallon to boot. The engineers spent years developing it, tuning it, revising it, and test-driving it, and it tops every rating list for safety, efficiency, and customer satisfaction.

There is no denying that 4E is a sweet machine, and has earned every single accolade that it has been given. I can't wait to test-drive it.

But there is no way I'm trading in my car, man. Sorry...no sale.
 
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Dunamin

First Post
Plenty of room for 2 cars in the garage

Nice write-up.

No need to trade in that car, either. I, for one, intend to keep and play both 3E and 4E in the coming time. They're different games and I appreciate them both.
 

Fobok

First Post
Old_Skool said:
I pre-ordered the 4E books on Amazon, and I can't wait to read them...but I have no plans to switch to the 4E system, certainly not while my group still loves playing the 3.5E game. You don't mess with group synergy, people. When you've got a good gaming group...one that works together, one that can't wait for the next session, one that spends the work week e-mailing each other back and forth about character builds and plot hooks...well, you have something rare. You shouldn't screw around with that.

Totally agreed here. As much as I love what I've seen of 4e so far, if I had a group like this there's no way I'd pressure them to change, even as tired of 3.5 as I am.

Of course, there's also the possibility they'll look at your 4e books and want to change of their own accord.
 

davethegame

Explorer
I have the same model as you, but my car is getting along with age. It's no longer as fun to drive, and my friends complain about the smell coming out of the AC every once and a while. Sure, they're happy to still ride, but there's definitely some annoying parts to it. Sure, it's served me well for plenty of drives and it was great for its time, but I'm ready for a change. I'm pretty sure I'll be happy with the new model.

However, I don't really care one way or another what you drive. As a hobbyist, I'm willing to ruminate on what I don't like about the car I drive and what I would improve and what I think the new model will improve, but that has no impact on what you drive or what I think you should drive.
 

WheresMyD20

First Post
Old_Skool said:
Some folks sound like an extremist environmentalist group...all cars are bad; people should ditch their rides and go back to bicycles. Ever since the internal combustion engine was developed in AD&D, pollution of the game has been rampant, our gaming sessions are gridlocked with congestion, and our legal system is clogged by unnecessary regulations. Not only should I not buy the new car, I should sell my current one and peddle my way to work everyday.
I have a different point of view. To me, first edition is like a classic muscle-car. It might not be all shiny and high-tech, but it's got some serious *style*.
 

jaelis

Oh this is where the title goes?
Two things-

I don't think anyone would seriously tell you to change to 4e if you looked at it and decided you like 3.5 better... they might try to convince you that you're wrong about your assessment, but that's not really a sales pitch, it's a "that's what I think and you should agree with me" pitch.

Second, if 4e does look a little better than 3.5, it costs you a lot less to switch than it would to trade in your car. So the car analogy can only be stretched so far.
 

Patlin

Explorer
Old_Skool said:
I pre-ordered the 4E books on Amazon, and I can't wait to read them...but I have no plans to switch to the 4E system, certainly not while my group still loves playing the 3.5E game. You don't mess with group synergy, people. When you've got a good gaming group...one that works together, one that can't wait for the next session, one that spends the work week e-mailing each other back and forth about character builds and plot hooks...well, you have something rare. You shouldn't screw around with that.

Sounds like your purchasing 4e as a secondary ride, but you're not planning to drive it to the car show where you want to hang out with all the other gear heads with their classic cars. Still, having it in your garage to test drive whenever you want can't be bad. And maybe it will grow on you so that it eventually is the car you want to drive to the car show... since it's in your garage, your options are open. :)
 

Zaruthustran

The tingling means it’s working!
Nice write up, man.

For me, though, 3.5 is like an old Ford Crown Victoria station wagon with wood paneling, aftermarket XM Radio playing through crummy original speakers, bald tires, and an engine that you have to know how to treat just right, or else it stalls.

It's been a trusted workhorse for years, but frankly it's fallen out of style (vancian spellcasting, all creatures follow Player Character rules) and it lacks modern features like airbags (changes to starting HP & revised dying rules), GPS (easier to DM), and decent mileage (extended "sweet spot").

Yeah I could keep patching the old girl, bolting on bits of new aftermarket parts and so on. After all, I've invested a lot of time and money in her--it's tempting to just drive it until it finally dies on me. But that'd be throwing good money after bad. There comes a time when you have to just get rid of the thing and buy a sweet new ride.
 

Charwoman Gene

Adventurer
No, it's rebuild the drivetrain while keeping the body and frame similar.
3.5 is kinda like stickshift.
I think Manual Transmission SUCKS.

Thus I like 4e. If you want to play 35 more power to you but dude, whatever.
 

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