(6) Red Flags of a Bad Game

[Agent Oracle]

After being with several gaming GM's in the past few years, as well as playing the role of gaming GM, i have begun to determine that there are a wide variety of signs which you should be able to find ahead of time that warn you of a bad campaign, either by fault of the GM or by fault of the players, or hell, even fault of the source maerial. The following is a list I have complied, feel free to add your own stuff if you have it.

1. "There's a Paladin! Quick, kill his horse!" (alternately: "Horses? there's no steenking horses here!"):
In my last six campaigns, i have had my mounts: -brain-sucked by a mind flayer, -eaten by a tyrannosaurus (which was wayyy out of place.) -targeted by every single attack made from a line of rampaging kobolds -almost killed by ME (as an NPC in the hands of the GM) -Thrown overboard from a barge -just outright banned. I'm aware horses have no place in the tight corridores of a dungeon environment, but darn it, when it's a paldin's mount, or when it's my low-strength rogues only means of carying loot... there's a problem!

2. "So what if I'm the homosexual lover of the fey prince and on the run from my estranged archmagi father and his brainwashed adopted daughter who happens to be a gold dragon under the effects of a permanant shapechange spell? I can still sell you beer from my tavern."
Folks, I'm used to NPC's with more interesting lives than me. Most BBEG's should have interesting backgrounds. I'm not impartial to the princess being in a love triangle with the dragon, or the king being persued by dubious people. But really, there has to be a point where the line is drawn. And I think that concerns the shopkeepers. Shopkeepers exist to have one problem: Rats in the basement. It's cliche, but it works. Really, when your background is that wierd, you don't wind up serving drinks between lovemaking sessions with the heir to the glimmering throne.

3. "Uhhh... right... yeah... his name is... uhhh... Bob." "But, that's the name of the NPC fighter you're running..." "They're both named Bob. So anyway, Bob takes you, uh... yeah, into the, umn, thing. castle. The castle, and there's this dragon...it breathes fire." "A Dragon? But we're second level!" "It's okay, Bob kills it." ... "Which Bob?"
If you can't throw a few nouns, verbs, and adjectives my way, maybe you shouldn't be GM.

4. "So, to thank you for saving her from being sacrificed, and defending her virtue, the virgin takes you back to her place and begins to undress..."
Okay, guys, there is only one thing sadder than never getting laid, that's getting laid in D&D, by a male GM's NPC. It's also a really bad sign that you're in for a rough haul...

5. "Welcome to the Group! Create a 10th level character, with 2,000 gp worth of equipment." "uhh, isn't that, like, fourty-some-thousand GP short of how a 10th level character should be equipped?" "It's how we do things."
I was fine with having 2k worth of equipment in a starting campaign, until I discovered that everyone else was playing a legacy character, who had all the magical gear from their 9 previous adventuring levels.

 

[Jdvn1]

5. "Welcome to the Group! Create a 10th level character, with 2,000 gp worth of equipment." "uhh, isn't that, like, fourty-some-thousand GP short of how a 10th level character should be equipped?" "It's how we do things."
I was fine with having 2k worth of equipment in a starting campaign, until I discovered that everyone else was playing a legacy character, who had all the magical gear from their 9 previous adventuring levels.

This happens to me a lot!

 

[Baroness]

When the GM sticks an NPC with the group and the NPC receives more attention than the rest, is stronger and is the solution to every problem, it's time to leave and let the GM play with himself.(not that way )

 

[Dog Moon]

7. When the PCs start off not knowing each other and they're of various alignments from LG to CE and they're playing their characters correctly. You know the campaign isn't gonna go anywhere cause at least 1 person is gonna end up dead.

8. When you spend 3 hours making your characters and there's a TPK in the first battle. [Unless it leads to some cool plot hook; then it's okay]

9. When you talk to the first NPC and he's an arrogant ass. Then you talk to the next NPC and he's an arrogant ass. And the third NPC, no he's not an arrogant ass, he's just played like he has an Int of 4. It's hard to play a game without talking to any NPCs, unless you REALLY like straightup hacknslash.

 

[paradox42]

Not ot nitpick or anything, but what's Red Flag #6? Your post's title says there are 6, but the list only goes up to 5. Was 6 edited out?

 

[Aikuchi]

Just rolling a character in a new group - everyone wants to know your stats short of looking at your character sheet, ... grunt/sneer and say, "My character can take you on!"

--- sigh ---

 

[Dog Moon]

Just rolling a character in a new group - everyone wants to know your stats short of looking at your character sheet, ... grunt/sneer and say, "My character can take you on!"

--- sigh ---

This sounds more like Red Flags of a Bad GROUP. Although my number 9 is more like a Bad DM. Although I guess in both cases, it WOULD lead to a bad campaign, eh?

Bad DM and Bad Group = Bad Campaign.

 

[Jdvn1]

Not ot nitpick or anything, but what's Red Flag #6? Your post's title says there are 6, but the list only goes up to 5. Was 6 edited out?

6. The DM can't count.

 

[Dog Moon]

6. The DM can't count.

Actually, that would be number 11.

 

[Li Shenron]

1. "There's a Paladin! Quick, kill his horse!" (alternately: "Horses? there's no steenking horses here!"):

Two notes here:

- having a mount/animal companion/familiar is a burden and an advantage at the same time; if a player wants one, he should be prepared to (1) know the rules about how to use it and (2) expect some minimal realism (an animal isn't going to behave as a human, unless it has an extraordinary intelligence); many times players assume that just because they have the rights of getting an animal as a class feature, it should work in every environment and it should behave exactly as their character

- sometimes a mount (or a cohort/henchmen, or any NPC) is indeed subject to the DM's "first shot"; it may not be nice nor realistic, but it's what happens in movie all the time: the movie shows you how powerful the BBEG is by chopping someone's head off with one blow, only that the head is of always that of someone unimportant, because if it was that of the main character, the movie would be over. It's definitely not nice if a DM nullifies mounts & companions too often with this tactic, but as long as it happens quite rarely, it's still better to end up as a Paladin with a dead mount rather than a mount with a dead Paladin...

Most BBEG's should have interesting backgrounds. [...] But really, there has to be a point where the line is drawn. And I think that concerns the shopkeepers. Shopkeepers exist to have one problem: Rats in the basement.

I basically agree that the DM should not go too far with this. Every shopkeeper being an ex-hero makes ex-heroes terribly boring. Interesting people should be a minority to be really interesting. However, let's also keep in mind that the focus of the game is on interesting characters! Perhaps the PCs meet mostly interesting NPCs just because it is not told when they meet commoners. Again, think books and movies, they don't tell every person which is met by the characters, only those who are relevant in the story or who makes an entertaining scene.

If you can't throw a few nouns, verbs, and adjectives my way, maybe you shouldn't be GM.

Totally agree. Once the general game type is set (epic, grim, naive, humoristic...) names are one of the best thing to keep the mood intact.

Okay, guys, there is only one thing sadder than never getting laid, that's getting laid in D&D, by a male GM's NPC. It's also a really bad sign that you're in for a rough haul...

Fortunately, I don't remember to have any sex mentioned at all in our stories. It could fit, but it takes intelligence and sensibility not to make it just a laugh. Most of the time it's as unnecessary and out-of-place as a dog in a church.

5. "Welcome to the Group! Create a 10th level character, with 2,000 gp worth of equipment." "uhh, isn't that, like, fourty-some-thousand GP short of how a 10th level character should be equipped?" "It's how we do things."

This is not a simple issue. The important thing is that such a choice is done consciously of its consequences. The standard game is written with strong assumptions about the equipment, but it is not forbidden to change how this works, if the group wants a different setting than the standard.