Ashamed of being a Gamer?

[Niccodaemus]

I'm not only an avid gamer who spend a couple of years working for an RPG company, I also have designed, produced, directed and acted in Halloween haunted houses. I occasionally show up at a gathering of friends in an elaborate costume. (pirate, old man, or something just very "off".). And I'm one of the most "normal" people in our circle of friends.

 

[Tequila Sunrise]

I don't go out of my way to advertise, but I do have a couple D&D Ts that I do wear, and I'm not ashamed to bring my hobby up in an appropriate conversation.

Unless I know I'm talking to fellow ttrpgers, I usually lead with "I'm a gamer." Most people assume I'm talking about console games, which is cool because I like those too. But usually the conversation turns to what I really meant -- D&D -- and I get to give them a brief explanation of what it is and why it's so much fun. It's all about confidence!

And I'll add that I'm a walking stereotype, so nobody is surprised that I play games -- console or otherwise. Seriously, I'm skinny and white, wear glasses, I'm good at math, and I'm studying to be an engineer. So my life is only getting more open in its geekiness.

"outed"

Can you clarify this term? I'm thoroughly lost.

 

[Tortoise]

A decade ago I held a job where it was a plus to be involved in hobbies and games. Sadly the pay and benefits were not enough so I had to once again hide my favorite hobby from employers and co-workers. Now I work for a contractor and if the subject were to come up I'd have to deny it to avoid losing contracts offered by closed minded people.

Of course if someone finds out and starts making a fuss I have no hesitation with asking them if they'd like to speak to HR about harrassment and discrimination, but I try to avoid anything getting to that point. Future employment sadly hinges on these kinds of things remaining quiet.

It's no wonder mental illness is so prevelant these days. Everybody is too stressed from hiding even meaningless things from everyone else. We are a cruel lot, we humans.

 

[Elf Witch]

No I am not. I don't go around advertising to everyone I meet that I am a gamer but I won't lie if someone who is not a gamer ask what are you doing this weekend.

As for lying to your SO all I have to say is that is not good. If you can't be your true self with your SO why are you together?

I have had a lot of hobbies that people deem weird or geeky. Going to SF and Trek cons since the early 70s, being a member of the SCA, gaming. My religion also raises eyebrows because I am Wiccan.

My son once told a teacher that his mom was Wiccan and she called child services. This was in the mid 80s during the height of the so called Satanism scare. Which BTW turned out to be bogus.

The worker came in to my very normal looking house except for the altar in my bedroom and the fantasy artwork on the walls and the gaming and SF and Fantasy books on the shelves.

We discussed my religion she investigated my son's school records and medical records and closed the case.

I refuse to be ashamed of who I am or feel that I need other people's approval. My family always thought I was weird they always knew I was going gaming or to cons. My father just accepted me for who I was.

My experience have except for the stupid teacher been positive. If you are comfortable in your own skin people seem to respond positively to that.

I used to barrel race and do clown work at rodeos. 99% of the people are very country into country music very conservative folk. I had friends there who knew I went to SF cons and gamed. They may not have fully understood it but they never treated me differently or like I was some kind of freak.

 

[Aeolius]

I am not shy about telling folks that I am a man of limited interests. I run an undersea D&D game, have sea critter tattoos, keep saltwater aquariums, and yes... I own a squid hat.

But I have been fueled by geek-power for decades. Anyone who knows me wishes they didn't.

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

I am not shy about telling folks that I am a man of limited interests. I run an undersea D&D game, have sea critter tattoos, keep saltwater aquariums, and yes... I own a squid hat.

RESPECT!

(I have a turtle hat and a sea-turtle hat.)

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

Gaming helped me in school in certain instances.

How many of us know our Pythagorean Solids?

 

[Olaf the Stout]

I don't hide it (my books are in plain view on my shelves) but I don't bring it up, either. Generally I am uncomfortable talking about gaming with folks who aren't gamers themselves.

But lying to your wife about doing what you enjoy? Ouch. That's a rough life.

Yeah, I'm sort of about here.

My gaming books are clearly on display in my living room. My family (both mine and my wife's) know that I play D&D as well as my friends (of which my gaming group make up a fair chunk!).

I couldn't imagine lying to my wife about gaming. When we first began dating I didn't exactly tell my wife-to-be that I was a D&D nerd, but with D&D books sitting on a shelf in my bedroom it didn't take long for her to find out. She's not into it herself, but she didn't go running for the hills either!

No-one at my work knows, apart from one lady that saw me browsing some D&D stuff on the Net one day and asked. I wouldn't deny that I play D&D if someone at work asked me directly, but I don't have any d20's on my desk, or anything like that to identify me as a gamer.

Funnily enough I also play Blood Bowl (basically a fantasy football board game), which I also don't advertise to others that I play. I am quite comfortable with telling fellow Blood Bowl players though that I am a D&D player. I figure that they're enough into a similar hobby (and there is a resonable overlap between the 2 hobbies) that no-one would be surprised.

Olaf the Stout

 

[wingsandsword]

Edit: I recall last summer I told some nice people from US military intelligence I met socially at my mother in law's house in rural Tenneseee. I said "D&D nerds" and they thought I was talking about computer gamers! :

Odd, I'm with Military Intelligence, and it's positively crawling with D&D players (still a lot of non-gamers, but definitely a fair share of gamer geeks in the MI Corps). Around MI guys is the only time when I'm in uniform I will talk about gaming.

I had a lot of gaming fun in my time at Ft. Huachuca.

 

[kitsune9]

That sucks. I mean, I find it kind of ironic, because I am not sure I would want anyone who got that hung up on another person's hobbies managing financials. I mean, if you cannot judge relevancy properly, how good is your judgement at all?

It's just the way it works. I know finance guys who work for video game companies and while everyone else plays the latest projects or have Google-like offices, it's a double-standard for the finance guys. Those who want to play find themselves out the door fairly quickly. Something about managing money means that you got to be a no-nonsense kind of guy who's completely serious, even in the "fun" companies.

However, I'm not really complaining because I have my own office, staff, and excellent compensation, so I'm happy to stay in the closet.