Bads and their lines

[Player2]

So, bards are masters of comedy, witty one-liners and of getting themselves in trouble, be it with drunken patrons, moody guards or the innkeeper whose daughter they were hitting on.

All the while you can see the bard dodging and running while singing back or throwing a few good retorts. This is the place to dump the best lines you, your party-members, or your players have thrown as a bard, or any other class really. Let's try and make a small black-book of wittiness!

This one was thrown while the local inn-keeper was bad-mouthing the bard: "He calls me ugly, loud and says I wash his pantaloons. But the one washing my clothes at night is the wife of that buffoon".

 

[Adimus]

I played a character who was a lone surviving member of a household that the king had seen as an enemy and thought had been destroyed. Secretly plotting his revenge and biding his time, he went by the name Argent. Most thought it was his real name, but it was in truth a pseudonym alluding to the blazon color of his household. When asked once who he really was...

I am the mute poet


I fumble myriad delicate words
speak softly, slowly,
short and unsure...
yet deep within a cunning muse stirs


I am the mute poet


who refrains in futility,
who rhymes in vain
whose silvered glass eyes
reflects his disdain
whose actions in shadows
speak plainly as day


I am the mute poet


spewing painful, tasteless, uneloquence
whose hooks then are knives in quiet quatrains
whose voice then unheard speaks verses arcane
in moonlit staccatos
of cold steel and flame


I am the mute poet

 

[Player2]

ooh, loved the rhyme xD