D&D 5E Bards. They are silly. Is there a way to make them NOT silly?

[Celebrim]

Change your cultural sensitivities.

Bards have their root in the Kalevala, and in Northern European culture in antiquity in general.

In that cultural, music was magical. Warriors went into battle singing songs of doom to dismay their foes and instill themselves with courage. The closest in modern culture comes to that sensibility is the relationship of the Scots to the bagpipes or "battle pipes" as they would once have been known, although the idea that you support your soccer team by singing is probably related.

Steeped in those cultural values, in 'The Lord of the Rings' when the Rohirrim charge the Pelanor Fields, they entire host breaks out into song. They continue this song until their battle-leader, who has initiated the charge with the chant, "Forth, and fear no darkness! Arise! Arise, Riders of Theoden! Spears shall be shaken, shields shall be splintered! A sword day... a red day... ere the sun rises!" and the blowing of a horn (which bursts asunder with the power of his voice), at which point they switch to a chant repeating the word, "Death!"

Peter Jackson kept much of that scene as it was in the book, and as a result it is (when he sticks to the scene as written) one of the least silly and best remembered scenes in the whole movie. But one concession he made to the sensibilities of the audience, is he has the music stirring in the background, and not being voiced by the Rohirrim themselves - possibly for fear the Rohirrim singing out their joy of battle would have seemed 'silly'.

But imagine you live in a world without recorded music. Does not the sound of the singing as the horsemen charge down at you seem as epic as the soundtrack of an action movie, and is it hard to imagine that those riders might believe that the one of their number with a particularly loud, beautiful, and powerful singing voice is doing more than just leading the song, but working a real magic to inspire you in battle, protect you from harm, and dismay your enemies?

 

[Hillsy7]

My question is this: How do you play a bard seriously? It's admittedly silly to imagine someone breaking out the tambourine and "inspiring you with the dance of my people" during an orc attack. So what do you do instead? How do you dispel all those goofy heavy metal, El Kabong, glam rocker, nerdy dude in tights tropes and create a bard character that actually belongs in a heroic fantasy? And more importantly, how do you convince the rest of the table to take your bard seriously?

Couple of quick ideas, though it does require bending he fluff in the PHB a little to fit....

1) Ruckus from X-man - totally not funny.
2) I made a Drow Bard captured individual sounds and wove them into spells - he was also a mercenary captain who's entire team had been double crossed and only he survived and now he was hell bent on assembling a team and getting revenge. He was pretty dark.
3) Any inspiring leader type will work. A Bard is basically a wandering scholar, so just playing them as a charismatic magic user who, in battle, is unremittingly inspiring ("Keep going, Valamar! Think of your ancestors who dashed themselves against the bloody rocks of the Mor'Vekkan army and weighed them down with their bones - remember the blood of you ancestor Kalt the Blue who held shut the jaws of a white dragon while the village fled - feel the beat of Hragar's heart, of Jonir's fury in your veins. AND. FIIIIGHTT!!!.......take this d6 for inspiriation).

 

[FormerlyHemlock]

First of all, relevant comic.

Secondly, I love the heck out of bards. Mechanically, I think they knock it out of the ballpark. Conceptually, I even think that a jack of all trades character is a cool conceit. Bards conjure up images of Kvothe Kingkiller, Thomdril Merrilin, and even historical figures like Sir Richard Francis Burton. Unfortunately, it never goes like that in game. Bards have an image problem, and your badass character concept never survives contact with a sniggering table full of gamers singing "Brave Sir Robin."

My question is this: How do you play a bard seriously? It's admittedly silly to imagine someone breaking out the tambourine and "inspiring you with the dance of my people" during an orc attack. So what do you do instead? How do you dispel all those goofy heavy metal, El Kabong, glam rocker, nerdy dude in tights tropes and create a bard character that actually belongs in a heroic fantasy? And more importantly, how do you convince the rest of the table to take your bard seriously?

I usually DM unfortunately, but I did get to play a 5E bard a few times. (8th level Lore Bard.) I just played him as a diplomat, healer and trained spy. Basically ignored the whole music angle, but when Inspiration or Cutting Words did come up I just played it off as magic: instead of speaking a mystical secret word, I hummed a snatch of Fundamental Melody, so to speak. (Think JRR Tolkien's Silmarillion here.) It's just another kind of magic.

No silly words or insults, no Brave Sir Robin. Just a professional doing his job and trying to stay alive in a lich's lair.

 

[Xetheral]

Non-silly Bard concepts:

1. Unseelie Bard (Lore). When spellcasting uses whispered (but somehow, still clearly audible) poetry in an alien meter, with an unsettlingly-wrong rhyme scheme, heavy with dark allusion and subtle-yet-grotesque metaphor. Bardic Inspiration is short, disturbing, cryptic phrases that nonetheless provide insight into a problem. Cutting Words is an arched eyebrow and a disdainful, dismissive sound. Rarely smiles, except right before she's about to do something truly awful to someone nearby
2. The Orator (Valor). Doesn't use music at all, but is instead more like a politician or a great general. Pontificates for spellcasting, gives surprisingly-effective pep talks for Bardic Inspiration, and shouts orders for Combat Inspiration. Thinks entertainment is a waste of time.
3. Galadriel.
4. The Tragic Bard (either). Lost everyone and everything sometime in the past. Composes songs as a way of immortalizing the lost, and will do the same for newly-fallen companions and respected vanquished foes.
5. The Mathematician (Lore). Studies musical forms for insights into universal truths. Spellcasting consists of very carefully-calculated pitches and rhythms. Bardic Inspiration consists of useful advice. Cutting words is pointing out the enemy's mistakes. Overly critical and socially insensitive. Uninterested in performing for others.
6. The Fochlucan (Lore). Druid/Bard multiclass. Spellcasting is traditional music of an ancient, primal style. Bardic Inspiration is the wisdom of the elders. Cutting words is a well-timed, starting roar from a Wildshape form, or a subtle dominance display in either form.
7. The Skilled Amateur (Valor). Doesn't identity as a Bard at all, but knows how to play an instrument around the campfire at night, and has gotten pretty good. Fluff the primary archetype as an entirely different class. Spellcasting can just be usually-rhythmic normal verbal components. Other abilities can be fluffed to fit the primary archetype (e.g. mundane leadership, minor enchantments, imparted wisdom).

 

[Gardens & Goblins]

I think the problem a lot of folks have is not the idea of music and words providing inspiration, guiding forces during battle or striking fear into the enemy before the fighting even starts, but rather, the idea that while the battle is ensuring, the bard is STILL singing/spouting words of inspiration, when their comrades must be wondering, ''I wonder how much more effective my singing/wordy friend would be if they shut up for a few minutes and focused on killing our enemies.''

Sure, blow those bagpipes, mock your foes with bawdy tales, strum an upbeat chord - but when the fighting starts, for the love of my limited imagination, shut up and get stuck in. Even so called warrior-poets realised the value of putting a sock in it to instead focusing on cracking skulls.

(Honestly tho, I do love a bard, preferring the Evil Diplomat Bard who spits out snarky orders whilst cowering behind minions.)

 

[hejtmane]

First of all, relevant comic.

Secondly, I love the heck out of bards. Mechanically, I think they knock it out of the ballpark. Conceptually, I even think that a jack of all trades character is a cool conceit. Bards conjure up images of Kvothe Kingkiller, Thomdril Merrilin, and even historical figures like Sir Richard Francis Burton. Unfortunately, it never goes like that in game. Bards have an image problem, and your badass character concept never survives contact with a sniggering table full of gamers singing "Brave Sir Robin."

My question is this: How do you play a bard seriously? It's admittedly silly to imagine someone breaking out the tambourine and "inspiring you with the dance of my people" during an orc attack. So what do you do instead? How do you dispel all those goofy heavy metal, El Kabong, glam rocker, nerdy dude in tights tropes and create a bard character that actually belongs in a heroic fantasy? And more importantly, how do you convince the rest of the table to take your bard seriously?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N4ni2FxH7v8

which Sir Giacomoa are you

 

[Tony Vargas]

My question is this: How do you play a bard seriously? It's admittedly silly to imagine someone breaking out the tambourine and "inspiring you with the dance of my people" during an orc attack.

Keith Taylor's series from the 80s 'Bard' (the title is a clue), could be a nice thing to read for inspiration. The main character is a Celtic-style bard who does sing & use magic, and is not too silly.

So what do you do instead? How do you dispel all those goofy heavy metal, El Kabong, glam rocker, nerdy dude in tights tropes and create a bard character that actually belongs in a heroic fantasy?

The Lute & singing angle has been arguably optional since 3.x (you could describe your character & gear how you liked, so you could stretch it a bit and obfuscate the nature of the instrument and describe singing as chanting, or reciting blank verse, or even advice/shouted warnings/encouragement in battle) or 4e (even more amenable to re-skinning, and instruments weren't required), and certainly so in 5e, where the Bard is a flat-out full caster.

And more importantly, how do you convince the rest of the table to take your bard seriously?

Valor Bard is probably the way to go if you want to move away from bard stereotypes. Describe what your character does, pointedly avoiding any singing or other silliness. Take the less amusing spells - no Vicious Mockery, awesome though some players find it to insult foes to death, for instance.

 

[Celebrim]

Sure, blow those bagpipes, mock your foes with bawdy tales, strum an upbeat chord - but when the fighting starts, for the love of my limited imagination, shut up and get stuck in. Even so called warrior-poets realised the value of putting a sock in it to instead focusing on cracking skulls.

“And then all the host of Rohan burst into song, and they sang as they slew, for the joy of battle was on them, and the sound of their singing that was fair and terrible came even to the City.” - JRR Tolkien

 

[Derren]

Change your cultural sensitivities.

Bards have their root in the Kalevala, and in Northern European culture in antiquity in general.

In that cultural, music was magical. Warriors went into battle singing songs of doom to dismay their foes and instill themselves with courage.

The main difference being that they stopped singing and started fighting when the battle started in earnest. D&D bards on the other hand tend to continue singing.

 

[ccs]

And more importantly, how do you convince the rest of the table to take your bard seriously?

I don't hand out the healing, extra bonuses, flanking, etc to those who disrespect me.