Ben Duín - The Vertical Ray of the Sun

[mikeg]

Ben Duín - The Vertical Ray of the Sun

OK. This is my first post. I've just been lurking around for a while.

The overall quality on the Story Hour is impressive (read: intimidating), so I'd like to post the most recent entries from my campaign to see if there's interest in seeing a more fleshed out version.

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THE PARTY

Naskus - elven fighter10/mage11. Central character. From the small fishing hamlet of Gwyn Morfil in Ayr. Maintains strongholds in the Avocan Islands to the south, and among the halflings of Krusevo within the Shires of Lipik.

Marutu - human mage12/cleric5. Leading the party back to his order of Lacdevu near the headwaters of the Urno.

Eripe Volnus /eh REE peh FOL noos/- human ranger10. Originally from the Csornan highlands, now adventuring around the Csornan coast.

Oryeni - human thief11. From the teeming port city of Khovitsa, seat of the Csornan Crown. He and Eripe are the last survivors from a miserably failed adventure near the city-state of Thasos to the south. The two (and now with their current companions) are being pursued through the Csornan wilds by a cunning Thasoan war party.

THE POACHERS

Brody Pascani - human ranger5

Doro Pascani - human ranger2/cleric3. Brody's younger brother. In the service of Blarún, sister goddess of the Blue Moon.

Lanic /LAH nich/ - human ranger6

David /da VEED/ - human ranger1. Lanic's promising young apprentice.

The fleeing party is crossing the Urno at the foot of a massive waterfall. They have taken this path at Eripe's direction after he spotted a few ancient Vailikan trail glyphs indicating the trail was magically protected from scrying attempts. The party is in rough shape, wounded and with depleted magic. They have just slain the two abolleth of the ruined temple at the waterfall's base, thereby freeing the poachers from three years of mental enslavement. The poachers will want to return to their home near Lake Vailika upriver to let their families know they are alive. But first they'll have to stay alive.

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5th FALLDAVOL (1st Friday of 5th month), HIGH NOON
A CRUMBLING PRE-TEULAN RIVER TEMPLE AT THE SECRET FORD OVER THE RIVER URNO IN CSORNA

The party hears a deafening roar coming from the first temple building, the site of the corpse of Kalachthu /kah LOCK too/, the dark naga.

"It's the black beast," the poachers say.

"We flee to the cavern!" shouts David. The party gathers their gear and Lanic distributes his flaming arrows to those with bows. Naskus looks up at the gaping hole in the temple ceiling to see the sky darkened by the soaring wings of Zalegerzeg /ZAHL uh GAIR zeg/, the black dragon, who arcs to begin his descent.

The party slogs through the temple courtyard, flooded waist-high, following David to the submerged cavern entrance. Lanic turns to get two shots off at the dragon as it hovers for a moment before the temple. An acrid, crackling spray rips across the surface of the water as everyone takes damage from the dragon's breath weapon. The party runs through the choking steam as the poachers succumb to the dragon's fear effect.

Eripe and Naskus turn to hold the dragon with one more volley of flaming arrow fire, but the dragon sends forth a fan of magic missiles from his left claw. Eripe is hit as he looses his arrow. Marutu the wizard and Brody the ranger are struck in the back. Oryeni the thief is hit in the side as he is about to dive for the cave entrance. He is now badly hurt, and one more hit may finish him after the massive damage he sustained from the abolleths' attack earlier this morning. The missile just misses Naskus' face, sending a quick shock of static electricity to his ear as he turns to run, knowing the dragon's breath weapon is about to strike again.

Naskus runs with the rest of the party toward the submerged entrance, and braces for the sharp splash of dragon acid. A floating black sphere appears in the party's midst, and immediately envelops the area with pure darkness. Naskus follows his blind-fighting sense toward the entrance, pushing bodies under the water and into the cavern entrance. With the gust and whip-crack of the dragon's wings at his back, Naskus utters a quick prayer to Mananan that the wax seals of his spellbook's case hold up, and he dives under the water.

 

[el-remmen]

I like it.

You dump us right into the action, and I like the sparse style.

More please.

 

[Look_a_Unicorn]

Action is quite evocative- good start. I'll certainly see if this SH shapes into 'my' type of preferred reading.

Q) Naskus - elven fighter10/mage11.
Why so much more powerful than the rest of the party? Developed-over-time in game reasons?

And advice you may take or discard as you see fit: Personally I like knowing how things are meant to be pronounced- but I wouldn't put the sounding within your story proper- it's disrupting. Instead I recommend foot notes (See el-remmen's story hour for excellent and regular examples of how he puts additional info on his world and in-game mechanics into his SH while maintaining narrative flow).

Quick example:
corpse of Kalachthu /kah LOCK too/, the dark naga
becomes
corpse of Kalachthu*, the dark naga
(rest of post)
-----------
* Kalachthu pronounced /kah LOCK too/

 

[mikeg]

UPDATE 2

Naskus swims through the narrow flooded tunnel, his head scraping the jagged ceiling. He surfaces, hearing the choking gasps of his party members, and the stench of rotten grease fills his nostrils. The chamber is roughly 20 feet across, flooded 3 feet deep, and faintly illuminated by the flooded tunnel from the outside. The water in the chamber runs out over a stone lip in the west wall, and down a worn, natural chute. This exit provides enough room for a man to sit up comfortably. The stench comes from a bed of abolleth secretions in the northeast side of the cavern.

Suddenly, the room starts to darken. "The vines from outside," says Marutu the wizard. "He's making them grow." The flooded tunnel becomes packed tight with branches, and vines begin to push out of the water. Naskus makes a mental note to look for this spell in the spellbook he gained from Kalachthu, the dark naga. The ground shakes several times and the feeble light grows even more dim. Plant matter is shoved into the cave and the water begins to crackle with residue from the dragon's next breath weapon. Then all falls silent.

"This is starting to look more like a tomb," says Oryeni. Blood is running down his left arm and his skin is still pale and slightly translucent from the abolleths' attacks earlier in the morning.

"And you, more like a corpse," Marutu answers. "You'd better take this or we won't enjoy your optimism much longer." He cracks the seal on a small moleskin pouch. Oryeni drinks from it and the color returns to his face. He takes a deep breath and starts to dig through the abolleth slime.

"Something has to make this trip worthwhile," he says. "Start digging."

The party joins Oryeni, but not much is found. Rotten sandals, rope, a rusty sword. Even a horse ribcage. Eripe finds a partially decayed hobgoblin head - perhaps a member of the slain war party found across the river yesterday in the mudman pool. Oryeni finally retrieves a leather pouch holding 250 gp of royal Csornan mintage.

With the tunnel blocked, and the black dragon sure to return, David explains that the small west exit could offer an escape. He has used it to gain access to a larger cavern below on foraging expeditions, and has seen bats and the occasional bird. He could never explore the cavern beyond the range of the abolleths' powerful charm effects until now. The slick, downward-sloping chute is difficult to negotiate even when unencumbered, but David is familiar enough with the contours of the passage to slide down and even stem back up without the aid of a rope.

The ground shakes again, and David runs to the exit. "We've no time," he says. "Keep your right arm out when you count to seven!" He jumps into the slick passageway and slides down the rivulet into the darkness. Everyone stares at the chute dumbfounded, and Eripe hops into the exit, feet first. Naskus and the party follow.

Eripe is about to shout, "Five!" when his right arm hooks a thick net of vines and he feels David grab his collar. Naskus emerges, and then Marutu with his staff of light. The scale of the space comes into view. The party stands on a damp ledge. The water pouring out of the chute falls about fifty or sixty feet to the flooded base of the cavern. The waterfall echoes throughout the space, sounds bouncing off walls too far to see. A natural stone buttress stands across from the ledge at the edge of sight, maybe fifty feet away. A wide natural column stands in front of it, jutting thirty feet out of the water. The top is covered with white streaks of guano.

With a sharp 'THWACK', Naskus is struck in his right hip by what feels like a wet bag of sand traveling the speed of an arrow. A fleshy mitt has attached itself at the site, pulsing with squeaks of air. A meaty pink cord hangs from the mitt across the chasm to the opposite buttress face, where the surface is now crawling with shiny dark shells and rattling appendages. The cord is pulled taut, and Naskus begins to lose his footing. Four or five more mitts of flesh fly at the party. Eripe, Oryeni and Marutu are all hit.

Naskus cleaves the cord with his battle axe +1 and hears a shriek across the cavern. The cord snaps back toward the buttress and the mitt falls off after gurgling and spewing pink foam for a moment. Lanic, the poacher, cuts the cord attached to Oryeni with his battle axe +1, and Eripe slices himself free with his sword +2. Marutu's dagger glances off the cord attached to him and he is pulled off the ledge, slamming into the rock face before plunging into the cold water below.

Three more mitts strike Lanic, Brody and Doro. Marutu screams in agony below. The poachers claw against the rocks of the ledge as they too are pulled toward the chasm. Eripe fails to sever their cords, David's dagger does nothing, and Naskus surveys the grim scene. He drops his battle axe, interlocks his fists at his mouth and shouts, Agni nunca. The air between his fingers glows orange and a small ember shoots across to the buttress face. A blinding ball of fire explodes amidst the creatures and the cavern is illuminated for a brief moment. Everyone's eyes adjust to see the charred hulks sliding down the rock face to the water below. A few of the carcasses roll upside-down and bob in the water.

"David! Get down here," shouts Marutu as he slowly paddles toward the carcasses. "We're going to need these!"

 

[el-remmen]

Nice imagery - I can see the geography of the surroundings very well. . . then again I am a big fan of topography determining the coolness of a battle.

My only complaint is references to +1 whatevers in the story takes away from the immersion, but to each his own.

 

[mikeg]

Thanks el-remmen and LaU

Good point about the bonuses and pronunciation. I like the way the extra content for Aquerra is handled through footnotes. I'll try to hide more of the game dynamics from body text for subsequent posts.

 

[mikeg]

UPDATE 3

David ties a sling and Lanic belays him down to the surface of the water. He passes the sling to Marutu, whose breathing has become shallow and pained after his fall. Lanic carefully hoists him back up to the ledge as David swims out to collect the floating carcasses.

"These were cave fishers," says Naskus. "And they keep in colonies larger than the six here. I've seen them under the isle of Barca, south of Terra Sulla. Stay close to each other and keep your enchanted weapons in hand." He tears off his boots and removes his carefully wrapped slippers from his rucksack. "I'm going to take a walk around. Oryeni, I'll need you and your infernal figurine for backup."

Oryeni pulls out his small ebony fly figurine and holds it down between his knees. He bites his lower lip, grimaces and shouts, Nazzath! With a puff of smoke and a blast of black grit, the figurine expands to the size of a young sow, levitating and slowly beating its translucent wings. Oryeni balances uneasily atop the fly, groaning in dull pain. "I swear I'll never get used to that," he says.

Marutu has taken another healing potion by now to repair the damage from his fall. He looks over the ledge at David, who has collected four cave fisher carcasses floating at the base of the ledge. "Naskus, it looks like your fireball has cauterized the ducts coming from their air chambers," he says. "With luck these may stay afloat for a few hours." He takes out his lodestone balance and dangles it on a string. "Oryeni, you will take my staff for light. We have oil enough to help us rig a raft while you're scouting." The lodestone needle has stopped spinning, and points to the ledge wall. "It looks like our ledge is on the north side of the cavern. You two, check out the passage leading downstream to the east. When our lamp goes out, we're coming after you."

Naskus steps onto the cavern wall with one slipper, and with a quick hops he stands on the wall, his body parallel with the floor. He walks out past the ledge toward the east and Oryeni begins to fly toward the deeply notched cavern ceiling. "Let's stick together for now," Naskus calls out. "We don't know what's hiding up there."

 

[el-remmen]

What's the lodestone balance do? What is that thing?

Oh, and more please. . .

 

[mikeg]

Originally a dwarven religious item, a lodestone balance (or dwarven balance) is a really primitive type of compass consisting of a decorative pin dangling from a thread. The pin is made from a slightly magnetized ore available from only one small dwarven mining community. As such, a lodestone balance is extremely rare, and of the very few who know of it, even fewer foresee its value for navigation.

 

[mikeg]

UPDATE 4

Naskus walks on the wall into the eastern passageway. Oryeni floats nearby on the ebony construct. He holds the staff of light tied to his satchel strap as he struggles to maintain his balance. The flickering oil lamp of the party on the ledge disappears around the curving passage behind them.

The air is cool and clean. The passage has narrowed to roughly 20 feet across, curving gradually southeast, then slightly left to the east again. Several rivulets run down the sides of the passage to the gently floating water now 30 feet below. Naskus steps past these easily, but notes that a wrong step onto a wet surface will render his slippers useless until dry, sending him sliding down the rock face. Oryeni carefully looks up, but he can barely discern any ceiling within range of his light.

The passage widens to about 40 feet across and continues east, while a narrower passage branches off to the north. The water below has picked up speed in both passages, and the sound of rushing water is loudest to the north. Naskus steps around the corner into the north passage, and its lower ceiling comes into view. He walks up and across the ceiling and down onto the east wall. Oryeni signals back to the east and Naskus walks around the corner onto the north wall of the original large passage. The rock here is more fragmented and rough, with deeper crevasses and small, irregular protruding ledges.

Oryeni pauses and points ahead. Naskus sees what may be an alcove or cave entrance in the wall, about 40 to 50 feet above the water. He takes out his battle axe. Oryeni slowly glides to the mouth of the cave, and Naskus follows. The entrance is about 20 feet wide. Its ledge is broken and strewn with boulders, sloping steeply upward to the level ground of the cave floor.

There is a familiar sickening hiss through the air. Naskus has the wind knocked out of him by a cave fisher mitt, now latched to his chest. Oryeni is struck in his throat by another. He falls off the magical ebony fly, which immediately shrinks and falls, bouncing down the rocky slope. Naskus heaves his axe aloft, but loses his footing and misses. Oryeni cuts into the cord which now pulls him across the cave floor, but fails to sever it.

The cave fishers pull the two closer. Oryeni looks at his foe, the staff of light glinting off pairs of round black eyes set around twitching mandilbles. The air now reeks with a stench to rival the whaling quay at Gwyn Morfil.

Naskus swings again with his axe and severs the cave fisher's cord, freeing himself. Oryeni fails to cut through the attacker's cord and his left arm is pinned at the elbow by the cave fisher's pincher. He shouts for help. Naskus runs toward him, but he's tackled by the other cave fisher from behind, who bites into his back. Naskus shrugs off the attacker and brings his axe down past Oryeni's head. The blade severs the pincher holding him, and plunges deep into the thorax. The cave fisher goes limp and collapses.

The other cave fisher lunges at Oryeni. He tries to fend it off as it bites into his shoulder. He drives his dagger into its underside, and Naskus finishes it off with a crushing blow from his axe. Oryeni struggles to push the spewing carcasses off his body. He looks pale.

"Honestly, Oryeni, you've looked better," Naskus says. "This hasn't been your day."

Oryeni wheezes and struggles to get to his knees. "Where's the fly? Did it fall off the ledge? Where's my fly?"

"Yeah, you're welcome," Naskus says as he steps down the rocky slope. "Here it is." He tosses the fly to Oryeni who barely catches it. Naskus cleans off his yellow-stained axe. "The cave turns back there to the northwest, but I think our scouting mission is over for now. Start up your fly. We're getting back to the party while we still can."

"I don't know how many more times it will work. That might have been it." Oryeni gets to his feet. His throat is completely black and blue. "I'm alright for now. I can hide out on the wall below and wait for you and the party. We'll take their raft downstream."

Naskus looks at him skeptically for moment. "Alright, so be it. Keep the light hidden. I'm taking one more look around."

Oryeni climbs down below the sloping ledge effortlessly and finds a small alcove a few feet below. He sees Naskus magically walking along the passage wall back to the west. Naskus then steps around the corner into the northerly passage and disappears. Oryeni hoods his light, squeezes down into the tiny alcove, and braces himself against the cold black rock.