Booting a player Question

[Harzel]

Question I going to be booting a player Friday, do I give the player?
1. My 9 1/2 combat boot,
2. Pointed cowboy boot
3. Square toe bike boot
4. Ankle protection low boot.
5. Cement overshoe boot,
6. Thigh high heel boot,

to the head.
Thanks.

Why not roll 1d6?

No, no, no! Old school demands d100 so we can have finely tuned varying probabilities.

01 - 21 My 9 1/2 combat boot,
22 - 43 Pointed cowboy boot
44 - 70 Square toe bike boot
71 - 88 Ankle protection low boot.
89 - 98 Cement overshoe boot,
99 - 00 Thigh high heel boot,

 

[Sunseeker]

Gotta go with the the thigh high here. First off, it makes the best visual, and adds a certain flair. Plus, there's always the heel if they don't get the toe.

 

[Unwise]

I have to disagree, @shidaku, don't risk the thigh high. There is a chance the victim will say "thankyou mistress may I have another?" and then it just gets weird for everybody involved. Best to avoid that possibility.

Trust me, I am Australian and we invented booting, it is a national tradition https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pt4mwy9OBNA remember, the bigger the better.

 

[Riley37]

If they start asking why you chose that boot, where it was made, how many eyelets it has, they’re just looking to argue with you about why you gave them that particular boot.

Have you ever gamed with Saelorn?

 

[Riley37]

No, no, no! Old school demands d100 so we can have finely tuned varying probabilities.

01 - 21 My 9 1/2 combat boot,
22 - 43 Pointed cowboy boot
44 - 70 Square toe bike boot
71 - 88 Ankle protection low boot.
89 - 98 Cement overshoe boot,
99 - 00 Thigh high heel boot,

Shift those numbers for the additional category of "Roll again, twice, and apply both results".

The spell "Gygax's Tabular Doom" causes the target to turn to a random page of the 1E DMG, roll on whatever table appears on that page, and apply the result. The most amusing result I ever saw was making the BBEG roll on the table for randomly determining the shape of a demon's nose, which then caused the target to have trouble breathing.

Then again, there's the time that Gygax's Tabular Doom brought us to the sub-table for determining which *exact* type of harlot had appeared as a random encounter in urban terrain, and we could not agree on how to implement the result of "brazen strumpet". Does the target turn into one? Does one appear, and attack the target? Or does... never mind.

 

[rgoodbb]

No boots. Give them a free Feat.

Savage attacker or Sharpshooter seem appropriate or Athlete's foot