Ceramic DM feedback thread[JUDGES, OUT!]

[Rodrigo Istalindir]

Apologies for not being more active in the discussions. Resorting to a 4.8kbps cellular connection for internet access really takes the joy out of hanging around ENWorld.

Nice story in Round 2, RangerWickett. You did an excellent job in capturing a the feeling of myth and fable. The dialog, especially, although there were a couple of instances that felt out of place ("Damned leaves" and "I have no master", for instance). Oriental settings are probably my least favorite, but The Two Winds hit just the right note.

Unfortunately, I tweaked to Pilus/Li Psu right away, which takes away from the surprise ending.

I've read it twice, and I'm still a little unclear on a couple of points concerning the roles of Danas and Kya Besh Ko. Eliminating Danas and maybe making Kya Besh Ko the sacrifice at the beginning could streamline it a little.

 

[Sialia]

Whumph

So, I just have to share this. Even though it's pretty much entirely off topic.

Because it's about the word "whumph." And about Back in the Day, and laughing my ass off at someone else's near brush with death and/or disfigurement.

Kidcthulhu's near accidental death and disfigurement, actually.

Once upon a time, back in the day, we were all over at Piratecat and Kidcthulhu's house. No, not the palatial Werehouse--the little rental they lived in before that. That one. The one with the quaint little tiled kitchen with the antique appliances from the age of steam locomotives.

Ok, perhaps not that old. The oven had tailfins (I am not kidding about this), so let's say the kitchen furnishings were of the "Early Somewhere That's Green" period. It was the kind of gas oven that you had to light manually when you turned on the gas.

I only mention that detail because, on this particular day that I am talking about, when Kidcthulhu was baking bread for all us Defenders of the Early Years to snack on while we gamed, she didn't. Remember to light the stove before turning it on, that is.

So, uh, when she went in a half an hour later to see if it was preheated yet, it wasn't. And when she opened the door and realized that the oven was still cold as, um, un-preheated steel, she did the natural thing for someone who wasn't paying very close attention to the beginning of this story, and struck a match to light the pilot.

This is where the word "whumph" comes in.

I know, because I was standing there. It was spelled exactly like that, except in all caps, and probably a blue font. The fireball was blue anyway.

Picture Kidcthulhu surrounded entirely by a transparent nimbus of blue fire.

And then, imagine, just for a moment, that we give up on filming this scene with live actors and switch to a Chuck Jones style cartoon. Because I kid you not, the next thing that happened was a look on Kidcthulhu's face I can't film with a live actress as she tried to register 1. what she had just done 2. what could have happened as a result and 3. that she was miraculously unharmed.

Especially the way she blinked once or twice, disturbing the powder that was once her eyebrows and eyelashes so that they wafted gently down to the floor like little white snowflakes.

It was a night I shall long remember.

 

[RangerWickett]

*grin* I like it. Metafiction tickles my fancy. If only all of us could read the beginning of the story a bit more carefully.

 

[FireLance]

Piratecat, great story! I think it flowed and ended much better than mine. If the part where the heroes investigate the memorial in the theatre seems rather rushed and forced, well, it was.

 

[Piratecat]

That's the only part of your story that seemed rushed, and the fact that I was sorry about that - that I wanted more detail and more reactions - says a lot about how much I was enjoying the story! Your photo usage for glass was positively brilliant. I started cheering when I read how you had interpreted it; my use was a lot more prosaic. Good imagination.

I ended my story too quickly, too; it's a bad tendency I have. Nevertheless, I think I'm quite happy with how it came out, so losing to you will be no shame. I wanted a somewhat more upbeat tale to close out The Three Kings.

 

[alsih2o]

Alsih2o tends to include action shots in his images when he's judging, but Mythago doesn't,...

I wonder if this is partly a gender thing. I am sure a lot more is there, but I do have a tendency to think men and women are different, and therefore wonder if her femaleness and my maleness affect our choices for photos.

I think she hands over a mood, where as I hand over sports highlight reels. Both are very valid styles, and both reflect (I think) how we may view roleplaying. (and storytelling)

The BIG difference seems to be that she does much better writing with my pictures than I do with hers.

 

[Berandor]

Whoa!

So, where to start? At the beginning, natch!

On a separate note (and definitely not wearing my Admin hat here as I state my opinion!), as a competitor very little pisses me off more than people dropping out of Ceramic DM without posting something, even if they don't have their story finished. Lord, that makes me mad, and I wish people wouldn't do it. It's disrespectful to the judges, and it's disrespectful to the other competitors.

Absolutely agreed!
Also, there was a comment re: Eric's Grandma and entries. I'll test the limits next time I enter something...

Someone mentioned Cthluthlu (sp?). Did my story seem like a rip-off? I've never read Lovecraft or any of his peers in that genre, or played CoC, so I can plead ignorance. I definitely had in mind some of those old Italian horror movies and more modern American counterparts, like Phantasm. As for the detective element, I really just wanted to do a detective character. I only wish I had more time to do it right.

I haven't read Lovecraft, either. But from what I hear, it's often about tentacled horrors surfacing and driving people insane. So there are similarities.

One thing that struck me about MacBeth's story is that he focused less on an epic story external to the characters, and rather let the story play out entirely as a personal, introspective progression within the main character himself. External events only serve as catalysts for this progression. Very well written, MacBeth. It definitely gives me more insight on what it takes to write a winning Ceramic DM entry.

Yeah, well, that's what Macbeth does. It's not necessary to win, but it definitely helps. And Macbeth is very good at it.

It is all this that makes me think I shouldn't judge, there are so many people who do it even casually better than I.

With the judge free commentary thread available for all I am wondering how useful the gut read is for the contestants anymore.

It may add somehting to the competition, but I feel that maybe Ceramic DM has outgrown certain commentaries?

I definitely think gut reads are very important. That's why the commentary thread is needed, because the gut read is best described right after it's experienced.

That's the only part of your story that seemed rushed, and the fact that I was sorry about that - that I wanted more detail and more reactions - says a lot about how much I was enjoying the story! Your photo usage for glass was positively brilliant. I started cheering when I read how you had interpreted it; my use was a lot more prosaic. Good imagination.

Well, I can agree with PC here without letting on too much. The one thing I fear is that in my effort to judge tonight, I might sound too critical of the entries. When push comes to shove, I liked both of them for what they were.

I wonder if this is partly a gender thing. I am sure a lot more is there, but I do have a tendency to think men and women are different, and therefore wonder if her femaleness and my maleness affect our choices for photos.

I think she hands over a mood, where as I hand over sports highlight reels. Both are very valid styles, and both reflect (I think) how we may view roleplaying. (and storytelling)

The BIG difference seems to be that she does much better writing with my pictures than I do with hers

Perhaps you could do a joined contest? Where each of you hands over half the pics? Or would that be too much of a logistics nightmare?
You could enter the next contest, as well. I still remember some of your stories as very worthwhile.

 

[Piratecat]

The one thing I fear is that in my effort to judge tonight, I might sound too critical of the entries. When push comes to shove, I liked both of them for what they were.

Nah, even if you pan it I wasn't unhappy with my final result. I was celebrating either, mind you -- I don't think it's quite as good as my first three stories -- but to me it feels head and shoulders over the other stories I've put in Ceramic DM final rounds.

One problem is that it's wordy. My third story, Reunion, weighed in at 2000 words. This one is 3600. I think most of that was needed so that I didn't just do a random skip from photo to photo, but I'm sure it could be tightened up.

 

[mythago]

Ooh! Ooh! I can read here now!

I wonder if this is partly a gender thing. I am sure a lot more is there, but I do have a tendency to think men and women are different, and therefore wonder if her femaleness and my maleness affect our choices for photos.

Nah. I have enough testosterone for the both of us.

It's more that I try very very hard (perhaps TOO hard) to avoid the "telling a story" problem--where the picture pushes the story/plot in a given direction. When I pick an action shot, like "leap", I pick ambiguous ones, so that it can be a fight or a dance or tumbling in zero-G.

 

[Maldur]

I would not mind taking a stab at pic finding next time