Chakken's Dilemma

[chakken98]

Alright now that I'm no longer invading Aaron L.'s thread. I have my own. Hopefully the link below works, if not go to I... actually met a girl thread as that is were I started this.

http://www.enworld.org/showthread.php?t=176324&page=3&pp=40

At the moment, I feel as if I'm winning. And I look at it this way. When Gina and myself first got together it was a fluke....Meaning I spent alot of time to track her back down (we hadn't spoken in 1 year due to military an me) and when I did it blew up from there. Now at the time she was going threw a divorse because her husband cheated on her. Now I'm in this picture and she was in love with this dude and was almost going to go back to him. but she choose me.

Kinda a different stituation now, but she still loves me. Still cuddles and flirts with me, cares for me (have an ulser again, bad and bleeding. good meds though :\ ) And she and vlad are not getting along to much. That and today, for the first time in god knows how long she told me (not me telling her) that she loved me. And it was heart felt and true. We kissed passionately, and the look in her eyes told me that all she wanted was me. I also found out that none of her friends like this guy or what he does. (don't ask what he does cause I can't say, but in short. Glad I have a gun.)

Now I know I still have work to do to myself, and it won't just be fixed when everything pan's out (on her and me). But I really feel good at the moment. But now I have to deal with my father and his apparent dislike for Gina. If its not one thing its another....Glad I'm getting a good shrink or I'd be driven into a nevous break down at a real bad time.

 

[Olaf the Stout]

You mention a Vlad. Who is he? The guy that your wife is supposedly dating? How long have you been married for Chakken?

Feel free not to answer this, but are you any more intimate than kissing and cuddling anymore? And feel free to tell me if I've overstepped the line here too. Just trying to understand your situation a little better.

Olaf the Stout

 

[chakken98]

You mention a Vlad. Who is he? The guy that your wife is supposedly dating? How long have you been married for Chakken?

Feel free not to answer this, but are you any more intimate than kissing and cuddling anymore? And feel free to tell me if I've overstepped the line here too. Just trying to understand your situation a little better.

Olaf the Stout

Vlad is the "guy". We have been married for 4 years going on 5 in march...and yes we have been more intimate then kissing and hugging. Which does confuse me at times. But I think that I need to relax a bit. I should be upset and somewhat hurt, but I'm starting to take thing way out of line. To the point were I start to gain some ground than I do something stuipd and end up 10 paces behind.

 

[Aurora]

She sounds confused Chakken. Thats really all I can gather over and above what I already told you in the other thread. Like I previously stated, it seems she's trying to figure out if with you is where she's supposed to be. Just keep plugging along. I would agree with the fact that you need to try and relax, especially if the stress has given you an ulcer or made an old one flare up, whichever it is. Do some research on reducing stress and pick something to try that you are comfortable with. I would advise against being intimate with her, but um.....yeah, I can understand if you do. LOL Mainly just because it confuses the situation. It's just too close to letting her have the best of both worlds. Ya know? Don't be a doormat. I hope things start moving in a positive direction for you.

 

[chakken98]

Well, I have begun anger mangement therphy...and have started to do other thing then just sit around and stew in my mind. But things are starting to look a little positive. We have been talking alot and communication is always a good thing. Just hard not to think of vlad when she is texting someone on her phone...boy it blows....

 

[Aurora]

Just hard not to think of vlad when she is texting someone on her phone...boy it blows....

Ask her not to text him in front of you.

 

[chakken98]

I have and she said that she wouldn't but she has other friends who she text's and it hard to know if she telling me the truth or not. I Don't say anything because I do want to trust her, and that I don't want to end up in an argument over something small. Which could put more distance between us, as we have had 3 great days...want to step forward not fall backwards.

 

[Olaf the Stout]

I imagine it would be very difficult to trust her since she is supposedly "dating" another guy. Is she still "dating" Vlad? Personally I wouldn't be trusting her at the moment. Just be careful she doesn't try and abuse the way you feel about her to do whatever she wants. I know how hard things must be at the moment but try to remain positive. The anger management classes are a good step.

Olaf the Stout

 

[chakken98]

Thanks Olaf,
And from what she tells me they are no longer talking to one another but the text once and awhile (which are fights, I guess) compared to all the time. And the past 3 days have been pretty good, between us. We are also going out together tonight for some food and karoke. Now I realize that Vlad is still an issue to me, but I trust her. If I don't it will only cause problems within myself, and I can't afford to as its affecting everything when I do. I almost got fired from the US Air Force, and thats a tuff thing to do. But they are directing me, my family is helping and Gina is still a good person to talk to. All I need to do is wait and things will hopefully fall into place.

 

[IcyCool]

Her name isn't Gina Yuhas, is it?