D&D 4E Chuck Norris to be in the 4e Core Pantheon

[Man in the Funny Hat]

Monsters don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills People.
All of Chuck Norris' characters move at two speeds. Walk, and Kill.
Chuck Norris character rides a riding dog covered in human skulls.
Chuck Norris characters don't go adventuring.... THEY GO KILLING
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't read rulebooks. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
There is no Monster Manual. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
Outer planes exist because they're afraid to be that close to Chuck Norris.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.
Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.
Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
Chuck Norris gave Mona Lisa that smile.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost
Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.
Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship

And my personal favorite:

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the world down.

 

[Thanee]

[diversion]
You know, I wonder if Chuck Norris, you know, the guy, has friends who sometimes sit around and Google the poor guy's name and see all this really freakishly weird crap and wonder about it.
[/diversion]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LV8Lw-ZgVd4

Bye
Thanee

 

[Thanee]

And on a related note... this is from the latest Tabula Rasa (-> a MMORPG) feedback notes:

General (English, French, and German) – Local and Area messages. Be polite as possible when speaking in these channels. As a guideline, its best to keep the following “hot” topics out of General Chat to avoid arguments: politics, religion, “nerf” discussions, and of course, Chuck Norris.

Bye
Thanee

 

[Brother MacLaren]

Given all the discussions on 4E crit rules...

Chuck Norris threatens by walking into a room.
Chuck Norris confirms criticals on a 1.
When Chuck Norris criticals, he does maximum damage. His damage die is a d-Infinity.

 

[allenw]

Chuck Norris isn't running for President himself because it would be a letdown.

 

[Sir Sebastian Hardin]

Chuck Norris doesn't use dice. He ALWAYS hits and does maximum damage (that is, the HP total of his target plus 10)
Chuck Norris' beard can stop a lightsaber. In fact, when a lightsaber hits Chuck it's blade sunders!
Chuck Norris was so pissed about the Midiclorians nonsense that he Roundhouse kicked the filthy germs out of all jedi. That's why no-one talks about them after Episode I.