Bloodstone Press
Explorer
That is just great!
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Classic Lines from Players
- Thread starter doseyclwn
- Start date
That is just great!
LeifVignirsson
First Post
It was our second night a a group and a first time going at the campaign for a few of them, our DM has a very STRANGE sense of taste and humor, eventually leading us to a brothel that would be a lynchpin for many an adventure in the town... Anyway, our half-elf fighter states that he would prefer a half-orc or an orc whore to bed because "Orc is green, so Orc is natural... Orc is organic".
*blink, blink*
We laughed for about 20 minutes and I think all of us have that quote somewhere floating around on our person. Mine is on my cellphone, gives me a smile when I am feeling down.
*blink, blink*
We laughed for about 20 minutes and I think all of us have that quote somewhere floating around on our person. Mine is on my cellphone, gives me a smile when I am feeling down.
Old 2nd edition game.. We've come across a room with two sacks, one is large, the other small. One of the party rushes forward, being the loot whore he is, and grabs the smaller of the two, thinking there's some magic item inside. He promptly sets off a flame trap, and we laugh.
Then he simply wonders aloud whether the larger one was trapped and says: "I touch the sack, does it feel hot?"
Another member of the group promptly "snarfed" his pepsi all over the battlemat and books.. We laughed for an hour solid.
Snarfing, at least as we knew it, was when soda comes out of your nose, as opposed to your mouth.
Then he simply wonders aloud whether the larger one was trapped and says: "I touch the sack, does it feel hot?"
Another member of the group promptly "snarfed" his pepsi all over the battlemat and books.. We laughed for an hour solid.
Snarfing, at least as we knew it, was when soda comes out of your nose, as opposed to your mouth.
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The polymorph spell has been providing amusement in our game lately.
(Rogue as umber hulk) "I have reach; can I sneak attack with umber hulk claws?"
(Paladin as umber hulk) "The umber hulk lays on hands."
(Monk as Ape) "Aah. Uw, uw, aaah!"
"Monk speed bonus still applies; I have a movement of 240/round sprinting, so I'll bound through the city streets at top speed in giant ape form to get there. No, that might freak some people out. I'll king-kong up a nearby building and bound from rooftop to rooftop at top speed to get there."
(Rogue as umber hulk) "I have reach; can I sneak attack with umber hulk claws?"
(Paladin as umber hulk) "The umber hulk lays on hands."
(Monk as Ape) "Aah. Uw, uw, aaah!"
"Monk speed bonus still applies; I have a movement of 240/round sprinting, so I'll bound through the city streets at top speed in giant ape form to get there. No, that might freak some people out. I'll king-kong up a nearby building and bound from rooftop to rooftop at top speed to get there."
DaveStebbins
First Post
My favorite was when we were trying to rescue children who had been kidnapped and placed throughout a dungeon. We opened a door to find a huge room with a sleeping dragon (or dragon skeleton).
One player is concerned that the child, upon seeing us, will call out to us for help. So his PC says in a loud whisper, "Winnie, if you're here, don't make a sound."
The 'if you're here' part reminds him that he isn't even sure the child is in the room, which we don't to enter unless we have to. So, after a very brief pause his PC adds the whispered, "Winnie, are you here?"
Everyone at the table burst out laughing. It only the player an instant to realize what he'd said and then he joined us. It's become a classic moment in our group.
One player is concerned that the child, upon seeing us, will call out to us for help. So his PC says in a loud whisper, "Winnie, if you're here, don't make a sound."
The 'if you're here' part reminds him that he isn't even sure the child is in the room, which we don't to enter unless we have to. So, after a very brief pause his PC adds the whispered, "Winnie, are you here?"
Everyone at the table burst out laughing. It only the player an instant to realize what he'd said and then he joined us. It's become a classic moment in our group.
Ycore Rixle
First Post
Back in the late 80's, we were playing through D2 Shrine of the Kuo Toa. I was DM. The players reach a pool shrine of Blibdoolpoolp, which they know full well is a holy of holies, sacred, inviolate, etc. Then the magic user says: "I stick my staff in the water and stir it up." That brought on a whole heap of trouble, and the wizard called his staff a Staff of Stirring ever since.
In our current campaign, the party found a Deck of Many Things. After suitable research into its functioning, everyone declined to draw. Except... our jaws hit the floor when the barbarian said, "I draw four." Wow. And they were all bad, too, but at least he didn't get void or donjon.
In our current campaign, the party found a Deck of Many Things. After suitable research into its functioning, everyone declined to draw. Except... our jaws hit the floor when the barbarian said, "I draw four." Wow. And they were all bad, too, but at least he didn't get void or donjon.
Kalendraf
Explorer
Here's a few I've heard over the years which are likely standards among many groups.
"Let's split up!" Probably the most commonly uttered line before multiple PC deaths ensue.
"We can make it one more fight." Probably the other most commonly uttered phrase before PC deaths occur as a result of overextending their hit point and spell reserves.
"Can you imagine if..." or "We're lucky he didn't..." Players give DM a really nasty idea which gets filed away for future use. BWAHAHA!
"Let's split up!" Probably the most commonly uttered line before multiple PC deaths ensue.
"We can make it one more fight." Probably the other most commonly uttered phrase before PC deaths occur as a result of overextending their hit point and spell reserves.
"Can you imagine if..." or "We're lucky he didn't..." Players give DM a really nasty idea which gets filed away for future use. BWAHAHA!
Nilhgualcm Leahcim
First Post
I spent alot of time describing a room that my players had just entered. I lavished detail upon glorious detail about the room, attempting to paint a beautiful picture of a kitchen that they had just entered. I described the four large cookpits and the ashes laying at the bottom of them. I described the spoons and ladels strewn about the place down to scratches and dents. I finished the description when one of my players looked at the rest of the party and said, in a very straight face, "This looks like where they cook their food." Captain Obvious was what we dubbed him from that point on. This player had a habit of stating the obvious any chance he got. It was very sad. I guess you had to be there.
Shenanigans
First Post
One of my favorites was from a FR game, where when attacked by pirates at sea, the wizard decided to pull through for us in the clutch with his best spell!
"I cast a maximized fireball at the boarding party!". We all just stare at him, as he sends the blackpowder guns up in a massive explosion. As we prepare to teleport away from the doomed ship, our Wizard buddy says "That fireball sure was well placed! I won the battle for us!". When we got back to waterdeep, he had to pay the crew for their boat, their resurections, their healing, and their wages. We also revoked his fireball priveleges for the rest of the adventure.
"I cast a maximized fireball at the boarding party!". We all just stare at him, as he sends the blackpowder guns up in a massive explosion. As we prepare to teleport away from the doomed ship, our Wizard buddy says "That fireball sure was well placed! I won the battle for us!". When we got back to waterdeep, he had to pay the crew for their boat, their resurections, their healing, and their wages. We also revoked his fireball priveleges for the rest of the adventure.
