Tyler Do'Urden
Soap Maker
Hehe, you obviously didn't see my earlier remarks about my experiences with the RPGA.
And anyway, I live in Shanghai (no RPGA here), and I don't care at all for 4th Edition.
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Confessions of a 25 Year Old Gamer
- Thread starter Tequila Sunrise
- Start date
Hehe, you obviously didn't see my earlier remarks about my experiences with the RPGA.
And anyway, I live in Shanghai (no RPGA here), and I don't care at all for 4th Edition.
Never game with anyone under 40!
Actually, all the groups I play in have members over 40. Half the people in my son's group are over 20.
Tequila Sunrise
Adventurer
Actually, I have at MapTools but never really learned to use it. A virtual game might be just what I need, though it looks like you're running a scifi system which I find don't hold my interest for very long.
Heh, actually 'talking for no good reason' is my snide way of referring to the general small talk that most people engage in automatically.Loved this one! LOL
This can be a lot of fun, but always remember that many people don't get Monty Python, or don't even know them
CorditeJimmy
First Post
I have to say, this thread makes me feel lucky for the group of players I've stumbled on this year.
Pretty muh everyone has a similar idea regarding what they want out of gaming (telling a compelling story, rather than mastering a particular system), and people are pretty reliable at turning up to things.
We've actually got the opposite problem to that suffered by a lot of groups, in that we have too many talented GMs and ongoing campaigns and one offs, with not enough time to run them all.
When this all eventually ends, it's going to be hell finding another group.
Pretty muh everyone has a similar idea regarding what they want out of gaming (telling a compelling story, rather than mastering a particular system), and people are pretty reliable at turning up to things.
We've actually got the opposite problem to that suffered by a lot of groups, in that we have too many talented GMs and ongoing campaigns and one offs, with not enough time to run them all.
When this all eventually ends, it's going to be hell finding another group.
HP Dreadnought
First Post
I'm fortunate that our group consists mostly of people we started gaming with in college. . . and we all graduated more than a decade ago.
Having your players be your friends away from the game table is important for maintaining group cohesion. Friends are a lot more likely to continue playing together as a group in the face of real-life obstacles.
My suggestion?
1. Decide if you really like them as people and want them to be your friends.
2. Invite them over for social activities other than gaming. Hosting movie nights and springing for pizza will make you popular and get some interest.
3. Do what you do to build relationships with co-workers: ply them with copious amounts of alcohol. Happy hours at bars have done as much for my career as anything I've done at the office. When co-workers are crashing on your couch because they are too trashed to drive home. . . or your crashing on theirs. . . its builds bonds that are tough to sever. Plus you get to know the real people because after about the 3 round of shots, everybody's guard is down. In vino veritas!
Having your players be your friends away from the game table is important for maintaining group cohesion. Friends are a lot more likely to continue playing together as a group in the face of real-life obstacles.
My suggestion?
1. Decide if you really like them as people and want them to be your friends.
2. Invite them over for social activities other than gaming. Hosting movie nights and springing for pizza will make you popular and get some interest.
3. Do what you do to build relationships with co-workers: ply them with copious amounts of alcohol. Happy hours at bars have done as much for my career as anything I've done at the office. When co-workers are crashing on your couch because they are too trashed to drive home. . . or your crashing on theirs. . . its builds bonds that are tough to sever. Plus you get to know the real people because after about the 3 round of shots, everybody's guard is down. In vino veritas!
PoeticJustice
First Post
@ Tequila
I don't really have any advice, but thanks for sharing. I suppose you've already guessed, but you aren't alone. Holding a group together can be much more difficult than actually developing the game.
Actually, maybe I do have some advice: try going to a convention like Origins or GenCon. The sight of so many gamers is always heartening. Board Games are a good way to get to know people and doesn't require as much preparation. Some, like Descent or Talisman, can approximate the fantasy experience without requiring the extra work of a roleplaying game.
I don't really have any advice, but thanks for sharing. I suppose you've already guessed, but you aren't alone. Holding a group together can be much more difficult than actually developing the game.
Actually, maybe I do have some advice: try going to a convention like Origins or GenCon. The sight of so many gamers is always heartening. Board Games are a good way to get to know people and doesn't require as much preparation. Some, like Descent or Talisman, can approximate the fantasy experience without requiring the extra work of a roleplaying game.
RyvenCedrylle
First Post
I've been thinking a lot about this myself Tequila, so let me throw in my bit.
I haven't had a long-running group in a couple years - not since the end of college really. I tend to drift in and out of campaign groups, a few weeks here, a few weeks there, but never sticking around. A lot of it is me - my marriage is far and away the main priority in my life. I've dropped more than a few groups when 'date night' got moved to what was previously gaming night due to my wife being in school or whatever. We're pretty spontaneous, so unless a campaign is running on a night when I know she's not going to be home regularly, I could drop at any time. I also used to do a podcast and have something of a side business, though that's been slow recently. On the other hand, I find that I don't enjoy 'standard' gaming groups much anymore. My last group had rotating GMs/DMs so that you would run a game for a couple hours each week and then get to play for the rest of the session. When we got together to play, we were there to play - no talking about movies or what we did that week or anything else. It wasn't some kind of hard and fast rule, we were just very focused. Most face-to-face groups aren't like this, even RPGA events.
About 8 months ago, I ran across MapTools which I believe has been mentioned several times. Let me just say that I LOVE MapTools LFR. I've got a game tonight in about an hour or so in fact. Why do I think so much of it? First, it's flexible. VERY flexible. If I have a week where I know I have several open nights, I could easily get in three or four games very quickly. On the other hand, if I'm busy for two weeks with other priorities, my absence doesn't affect anything. The community is very strong and we've developed a solid comraderie. Finally, like my old group back in the day, it's focused. Game start time is game start time and we go - maximum gaming for your time investment.
Right now we're doing only LFR, though there's been talk recently of doing a "home" campaign in a shared world via Wizards' website groups and wikis. I would be happy to help you learn MapTools if that's a barrier to entry and strongly encourage you to check out what's going on.
RPTools.net Forums • Index page
I haven't had a long-running group in a couple years - not since the end of college really. I tend to drift in and out of campaign groups, a few weeks here, a few weeks there, but never sticking around. A lot of it is me - my marriage is far and away the main priority in my life. I've dropped more than a few groups when 'date night' got moved to what was previously gaming night due to my wife being in school or whatever. We're pretty spontaneous, so unless a campaign is running on a night when I know she's not going to be home regularly, I could drop at any time. I also used to do a podcast and have something of a side business, though that's been slow recently. On the other hand, I find that I don't enjoy 'standard' gaming groups much anymore. My last group had rotating GMs/DMs so that you would run a game for a couple hours each week and then get to play for the rest of the session. When we got together to play, we were there to play - no talking about movies or what we did that week or anything else. It wasn't some kind of hard and fast rule, we were just very focused. Most face-to-face groups aren't like this, even RPGA events.
About 8 months ago, I ran across MapTools which I believe has been mentioned several times. Let me just say that I LOVE MapTools LFR. I've got a game tonight in about an hour or so in fact. Why do I think so much of it? First, it's flexible. VERY flexible. If I have a week where I know I have several open nights, I could easily get in three or four games very quickly. On the other hand, if I'm busy for two weeks with other priorities, my absence doesn't affect anything. The community is very strong and we've developed a solid comraderie. Finally, like my old group back in the day, it's focused. Game start time is game start time and we go - maximum gaming for your time investment.
Right now we're doing only LFR, though there's been talk recently of doing a "home" campaign in a shared world via Wizards' website groups and wikis. I would be happy to help you learn MapTools if that's a barrier to entry and strongly encourage you to check out what's going on.
RPTools.net Forums • Index page
Mercurius
Legend
Tequila, nice post--your writing style is refreshingly clear, plus I always enjoy "RPG confessionals."
Any how, I've only briefly scanned the responses but I'm going to go against the trend a bit and, rather than offer some way for you to game in another form or fashion, suggest that you go ahead and take your hiatus. I think sometimes people are afraid to take a break because they love RPGs so much and are afraid that they'll lose something precious to them. Speaking only for myself, I have gone through many on and off cycles with RPGs, usually accompanied by a "binge and purge sub-cycle" of purchasing (embarrassingly enough occasionally including a book in the binge part that was sold in the previous purge! But I digress...).
I have gone through numerous hiatuses, once even not playing for years on end, only lightly following the industry (it was during my early-to-mid 20s when partying and socializing took precedence). But I have always found my way back again. Now, at age 35, I have had renewed interest, including the realization that I will probably always love RPGs...it was kind of a feeling of release, because before that I kept on thinking I would eventually "grow up and out of it." But recently something clicked, and it feels good to accept it. Embracing my inner geek, so to speak!
About a year ago I started up with a new gaming group. We are all 30-40-somethings, most with kids, all with careers, busy lives, etc. We decided that we could only commit to once a month gaming, which has proved very frustrating. A couple weeks ago I told everyone that I either want to play every other week (at least) or not at all; it is just too difficult to gather momentum and personal motivation if it is less frequent. Everyone agreed and wants to play more. The downside is that I kind of wanted out because I'm the only one who is a "serious gamer"--although none of us, even myself, are quite "hardcore"--and have found this a tad frustrating in that I haven't been able to talk about stuff outside of game sessions, brainstorm ideas, etc. But as luck would have it I just met a guy with a lot of similar (well-rounded) interests, including an equally strong interest in RPGs, who wants to co-DM, so we're going to be using the same homebrew world and alternate running adventures, which gets me back into playing. Plus I have someone to geek out with over coffee.
My point in sharing this is to point out not only the cycles I have gone through, but the fact that sometimes when we truly let go of something we gain something even greater. I have let go of RPGs only to find them again; I let go of the notion that I would grow out of RPGs and found a renewed interest; and recently I almost let go of my gaming group only to find an exciting new proposition awaiting.
So regardless of whether you are going to grow out of RPGs, I think the best thing to do is let them go for awhile. You really can't lose: either you will grow out of them and find something else, or you will find a renewed interest and, hopefully, a new group of folks to play with.
Any how, I've only briefly scanned the responses but I'm going to go against the trend a bit and, rather than offer some way for you to game in another form or fashion, suggest that you go ahead and take your hiatus. I think sometimes people are afraid to take a break because they love RPGs so much and are afraid that they'll lose something precious to them. Speaking only for myself, I have gone through many on and off cycles with RPGs, usually accompanied by a "binge and purge sub-cycle" of purchasing (embarrassingly enough occasionally including a book in the binge part that was sold in the previous purge! But I digress...).
I have gone through numerous hiatuses, once even not playing for years on end, only lightly following the industry (it was during my early-to-mid 20s when partying and socializing took precedence). But I have always found my way back again. Now, at age 35, I have had renewed interest, including the realization that I will probably always love RPGs...it was kind of a feeling of release, because before that I kept on thinking I would eventually "grow up and out of it." But recently something clicked, and it feels good to accept it. Embracing my inner geek, so to speak!
About a year ago I started up with a new gaming group. We are all 30-40-somethings, most with kids, all with careers, busy lives, etc. We decided that we could only commit to once a month gaming, which has proved very frustrating. A couple weeks ago I told everyone that I either want to play every other week (at least) or not at all; it is just too difficult to gather momentum and personal motivation if it is less frequent. Everyone agreed and wants to play more. The downside is that I kind of wanted out because I'm the only one who is a "serious gamer"--although none of us, even myself, are quite "hardcore"--and have found this a tad frustrating in that I haven't been able to talk about stuff outside of game sessions, brainstorm ideas, etc. But as luck would have it I just met a guy with a lot of similar (well-rounded) interests, including an equally strong interest in RPGs, who wants to co-DM, so we're going to be using the same homebrew world and alternate running adventures, which gets me back into playing. Plus I have someone to geek out with over coffee.
My point in sharing this is to point out not only the cycles I have gone through, but the fact that sometimes when we truly let go of something we gain something even greater. I have let go of RPGs only to find them again; I let go of the notion that I would grow out of RPGs and found a renewed interest; and recently I almost let go of my gaming group only to find an exciting new proposition awaiting.
So regardless of whether you are going to grow out of RPGs, I think the best thing to do is let them go for awhile. You really can't lose: either you will grow out of them and find something else, or you will find a renewed interest and, hopefully, a new group of folks to play with.
+1
I could not agree on this advice more.
I started D&D out of love for the game.
Now, I know that I keep playing (instead of mere reading) because of my great buddies. Life would be BORING ! without them.
