D&D Goes International

[Aeson]

Georgia gaming:


4. Ironically, everyone is required by law to carry smokepowder weapons.

All of it good but this one is only true for Kennesaw.

 

[maggot]

In Seattle, we only play on rainy days. Of course, that means we play everyday. But we have flexible work scheuldes at Microsoft (we all work at Microsoft you know), so we can play as late as we want staying awake on the 17 lattes we are required to drink each day. If you start to feel too jittery from the caffiene, you can take your turn throwing and catching fish at the public market.

Oh, and I lied, we don't all work for Microsoft, some of us work for Boeing, but they are older and not into role-playing. And some of us work for Wizards, but they don't roleplay either, they are too busy figuring out how to ruin the game and make money at it. But the rest of us do work for Microsoft.

As for our settings, we have renamed all the outer planes except Nirvana. Everyone is required to wear plaid shirts, birchenstocks, and shorts regardless of the temperature. (I almost said weather, but then I remembered it is always raining here.)

 

[Infernal Teddy]

I see an ages-old conflict spills over here on EN World. It was only a matter of time. This is older than the blood wars, after all

Well, I'm more an adopted Kaiserlauterer, so I suppose I don't count...

 

[jokamachi]

DUDE! You so totally snaked my post, dude! And I was gonna like post earlier and stuff, but I couldn't, 'cause I was busy, right? Anyways, like in California, we all fully play on the beach with like rock stars and like famous actors and stuff, right, only like not me, but like geeks and stuff, right? So, like we have to play at the beach'cause everything else is like freeways and stuff, right? and so like we do drink napawine, and microbrew and we like fully eat avacados and California cheese at every meal, right? Dude! and there's this university thing, and like everybody there plays but they're like really sexy and stuff, though, not all geeky, you know? And we like totally toke u pbefore the game, dude, right? And, so, like there's LA and there's Frisco, right, but they hate it there when when you call it frisco, but it's cool and the people in LA are all, like, gang-bangers and stuff, and, like the people in San Francisco, you know about them, right ?!Dude! and were environmentally friendly, so we don't want you to throw anything away, so we sell you all the products you buy in recycleable packages. . . Oh, yeah. The game. . . Sorry dudes. . . and Dudettes, too.

1. Brutish monsters (and druids) are called "Oregonians." The Oregonians hate the PCs for unjustified reasons not to be gone into here.
2. All wealth- and power- hungry villains are called "Los Angelenos."
3. All immoral characters are Nevadans, since all Nevadans live in Las Vegas (Reno is in California).
4. All PCs must be Chaotic Neutral with Lawful tendencies.
5. All PCs and NPCs get Quickened Maximized Enlarged Extended Widened Plant Growth at will as a Spell-like ability.
6. No PC may ever harm a creature of the animal type.
7. All NPCs must do so whenever possible.
8. cp < sp < gp < pp < water
9. All campaigns center on the elimination of the threat of Outsider incursions.
10. Outsiders are usually called "immigrants" or "la migra"
11. Most PC abilities depend upon the ability to summon and control these outsiders.
12. Change Self is available from an NPC spellcaster on every street corner at competitive prices starting at 1000gp and is always permanent until re-cast, and adds 1d20-6 to the patient's Cha score.
13. The Emperor, King, Prince, and the ONE TRUE POWER are all Michael Jackson
14. Flaws are essential to character success
15. All PCs start with 4d6+20 Comliness
16. All game snacks must be sugar-free, low-carb, no-fat and glamorous.
17. The DM may be recalled by player referendum at any time and replaced by the best-known player willing to take over immediately and DM the rest of his adventure. The new DM will be expected to do a much better job than the original.
18. All players must arrive at the game with illicit dugs and in a car worth more than 100,000 dollars, or with gas mileage of 8MPG highway or less, or else must arrive on rolerblades with a water bottle.
19. No player may wear their natural hair color.
20. All players must have a recording contract, a movie deal, or be a member of a cult.

Dude, niiiiiiice.

 

[drothgery]

Since I can't add anything all that San Diegan to the previous California lists, I'll try my hand at upstate NY (where I lived for quite a while before moving out here)...

1. (Syracuse University basketball coach) Jim Boeheim is a Greater Deity. Carmelo Anthony is a Lesser Deity, though he only appears once every four years. Keith Smart is a minion of the chief of the Evil Pantheon, and is always referred to as Keith @$*%ing Smart.
2. A large island city off the coast of the kingdom houses its true rulers, even if the capital is on the mainland. Residents of the city and the mainland will only ally against external threats.
3. Young men take frequent trips to neighboring kingdoms in order to exploit the lower drinking age.
4. Despite temperatures just barely cold enough that snow doesn't melt off, the kingdom is burried in snow for six months of the year.
5. Everyone under 30 is trying to find a job in a different kingdom. Those who succeed never return.

 

[Kae'Yoss]

Well, I'm more an adopted Kaiserlauterer, so I suppose I don't count...

Do you know Legend of the Five Rings? Do you know what happens to you if you're even a short amount of time in the Shadowlands without Jade to protect you? With the Palz, it's even worse.

So, yes, you have the Rhinelands Taint

 

[RIPnogarD]

hometown, Chicago:

1. We play in the bleachers at Wrigley Field.
2. But we need plenty of paperweights since it's so windy all the time.
3. If your character dies, it's ok, there's always next year.
4. As the guy in charge, the DM is corrupt. He must be bribed in order to get anything done.
5. If we have a problem with the DM that needs to be resolved we turn to Oprah for advice.
6. In our gameworld gangs rule. Al Capone heads the Thieves' Guild. The nobility are either Vice Lords or Latin Kings. The clergy are Black Gangster Disciples.
7. We don't have wands of fireballs. We have Tommy Guns.
8. Michael Jordan heads up our pantheon.

Dude! MJ reports to Walter Payton
and you forgot number 9) We replace certain words wit alternates...
These = Dees, That = Dat, Them = Dem, There = Dare, Those = Does, With = Wit

Dis thread is tff! lmFao

 

[Arbiter of Wyrms]

So, yes, you have the Rhinelands Taint

Do tell! What, exactly, is "the Rhinelands Taint?" I was born in Landstuhl while my dad was stationed at . . . Kaiserlauter, or Zweibruken, I don't recall. I'd have to call my mother and ask her. Considering that I know live in the central valley of norther California, a region gamers here equate with the mists of the demiplane of dread, I'd like to know if, in fact, I'm both trapped AND tainted.

 

[Kae'Yoss]

Do tell! What, exactly, is "the Rhinelands Taint?"

It means that you are a Pfälzer.

Considering that I know live in the central valley of norther California, a region gamers here equate with the mists of the demiplane of dread, I'd like to know if, in fact, I'm both trapped AND tainted.

Yes, you're boned big time.

 

[Arbiter of Wyrms]

[sarcasm]great/[sarcasm]