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D&D has threatened my job!

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d20fool

First Post
Buttercup said:
Society as a whole is quite suspicious of adults who spend leisure time with children who are not related to them. Men in particular are looked askance at when they hang out with minors. People fear the man is going to do what so many catholic priests have done, kapiche? Teachers have even less leaway because, while society trusts them with our most precious resource all day, every day, the consequences if this trust is misplaced could be tragic.

Actually, none of this has anything to do with teens, and everything to do with the fear of adult males.

BINGO! Granted, most child molesters are male. However, the only child molestor that we have (that we have had one is especially rare anyway) was a woman, a paraprofessional/cheerleading coach whose victims where her son's friends (yeesh!) Just because she is a woman, many in town have refused to believe it happend, EVEN THOUGH she plead guilty. Can you believe it?

But as a man who works with pre-pubescent children, I have to be constantly mindful of how I appear. Today I had a female student have to wait 1/2 an hour for her mom to show up after a practice for an academic competition I coach. I kept thinking "There's no one else around buy my own two children." I actually managed to keep distance from her of at least 10' the whole time. That's my reality in a nutshell. Just becuase I'm male, I'm a suspect. I understand the attitude, I don't always agree with it, but I understand.

At nearby CMSU, male teacher candidates are told directly not to enter elementary education, becuase they won't be hired. At my school, 3 out of the 33 teachers are male. I must be constantly mindful of how I appear. Further, many of these kids don't have regular father figures. I frequently have kids want to hug me, hang on me, or just have some sort of contact. I should be flattered, but it's always a little unnerving.

Anyway, some homophobia/fear of child molestation is clearly an issue here. I was told the mom thought it was "weird" for a man my age (33) to play with 16 year olds. This wouldn't be an issue if, for example, I wanted to take them fishing or deer hunting though, a common occurance here. So D&D is still a factor.
 
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I really appreciate the insight that I've gotten, as well. As an individual studying to be a high school teacher, I had always thought that I would game with my students...

Maybe that will not be a reality.

I wish you all the best d20fool-- keep us updated!!
 

d20fool

First Post
Kanegrundar said:
As for all the small-town bashing, it sounds like the exact reverse of small town folk bashing those from large cities. Most of it is either blown out of proportion or is formed from little to no actual knowledge of such places. Sure, small towns can be very conservative and closed off, but not all of them are that way, and certainly not all the people are that way either. I moved back to my small town (the Marshall, Malta Bend area about an hour northeast of Warrensburg) after college. I still game, listen to music other than country, and watch gross amounts of sci-fi. I openly discuss such things to those that ask or show and interest. Sure, I've met a couple people that don't like my interests, but I've never once been blackballed for it. I guess I'm lucky in that regard. I'm also not in a position that can get me fired by scaring the wrong person either. I just wanted those that are getting a misrepresented view of small town mentalities to see the other side of the story.

True, although this thread started from the closed minded aspect of small town life, I really do like living here. Here are some reasons why:

1.) When you hire a kid to water your plants and feed the cat, her mom discreetly does it instead.
2.) The kids wait until they get into their cars to smoke. They never do it on busy roads.
3.) People stop and wave for you to go first even when they have the right of way.
4.) Once, I got stopped twice in front of the stop light by the post office. That's it for traffic jams.
5.) People always smile and wave, even if they don't know you.
6.) The kids are polite, even the stinkers. Most are very, very nice and they always smile and wave even if you gave them all F's and took away a 100 recesses from them.
7.) People will hunt you down like a dog to tell you that you left your lights on.
8.) People actually slow down for the blinking school zone light.
9.) You can see everybody you know at Wal-Mart.
10.) If you drop something, someone will run after you to give it back.
11.) If you call a wrong number, you might end up talking to someone for 10 minutes anyway.
12.) Political candidates almost never identify their party on their ads, you actually have to find out about the guy. Often, they come to your door.
13.) The mayor doesn't have an ounce of charisma, but he's good at his job and people elect him anyway.
14.) If me or my wife have a problem, we can often have an hour long discussion with the superintendent the very same day. Try that city folk!
15.) The football coach is harder on his team than anybody and doesn't expect any slack cut for them.

Sure, they fear change here. The town motto should be "We fear change." People are often ignorant, racist, or homophobic to some degree. I've learned to live with it and treat myself as a "college liberal missionary." I would not trade living here easily, and I certainly would not return to a city (I've lived in Denver and Ft. Worth) Nice cities both, but they're not home. Not anymore.
 

Dannyalcatraz

Schmoderator
Staff member
Supporter
I won't ask why, but I must say that I'm surprised at your feelings about Denver and Ft. Worth. I guess you've been bewitched by that small town charm.

On the flip side, I must confess I like city life. I don't miss having to drive 2 hours to find a restaraunt with a dress code stronger than "No shirt, no shoes, no service," or being able to go to a museum to see a Ming Vase that wasn't done by Mrs. Johnson as a tribute to her beloved Chow-Chow.

And I definitely don't miss going out to the hill to watch the new farm equipment roll in on a Friday or Saturday night...

Green Acres wasn't the life for me!
 

Kanegrundar

Explorer
D20Fool, you hit the nail on the head for me as well. Those are all great reasons for living in a smaller town. I'm actually facing the prospect of moving to Independence early next year. My girlfriend and I are talking marriage and she's adamant about staying in the city for the time being while she finishes her masters. I'm not so sure how I'll like it. There's something greatly unnerving to me to hear so many sirens in a night...

As for Dannyalcatraz, well, Warrensburg isn't Green Acres. Sure, it's still a town of under 100K, but there are several nice restaurants and things to do other than "watching farm equipment roll by on Saturday night." Just because a town is small doesn't mean it have nothing to offer.

Back to the issue at hand, though, I hear you (D20fool) on the insularness of small towns. People here are wary of newcomers, racist, and homophobic. However, I have seen many of the same attitudes in neighborhoods in the city. The fact is while such attitudes may be more noticable in smaller towns, it's by no means a small town only issue.

Kane
 

Dannyalcatraz

Schmoderator
Staff member
Supporter
Well, Warrensburgh might not have been, but Manhattan KS was...close.

Pop: 30-40K when K State was in session.

Pop:13-20 when it wasn't.

And we were all thankful we didn't live in Ogden, next to Ft. Riley (home of the "Big Red 1"). They only had one traffic signal- a flashing red light.
 

d20fool

First Post
Thank you all again

My wife just talked with her principal (the high school principal) about the situation. He would be the other one concerned. He had heard it mentioned briefly (it took him a moment to recall) but it was not a concern for him at all.

Thank you all for your support. What a sad world when teaching children to use guns to kill animals (i.e. hunting) is acceptable but a creativity, imagination, being social and reading hard books and doing math (i.e. D&D) is not.

BTW, to the poster about Leeton, it is still there, such as it is.

Thank you!
 

Paul Cardwell

First Post
D&D has threatened my job

Regarding the discussion on September 10 about the teacher getting adverse feedback over having kids in a D&D game:

First, thanks for the case. We will be metaphorically throwing it in the face of the next person who says there is no need for CAR-PGa because no one is attacking games any more (CAR-PGa always dealt with far more than game defense).

Second, with the exception of leaving the place, all the suggestions were valid (leaving won't help, the case will follow forever).

I would suggest two things to be done immediately. First, separate the adults and kids gaming for the time being, and suspending the kids' operation temporarily. Let's hope their parents will organize in your defense as a result. Meet with them to explain.

Second, get copies of the brochure series Games In Education, by David Millians, from GAMA; and Role Playing Games and the Gifted Student, by Paul Cardwell, Gifted Education International, Vol. 11, No. 1, 1995, pp 39-46. Failing to find this scholarly journal, a slightly updated form can be had from CAR-PGa for $1.50.

Millians is a 5-6 grade teacher in Atlanta, GA, who has been using RPG in his classes well over a decade, while Cardwell is Chair of CAR-PGa, an international network of researchers into all aspects of role-playing games, including curriculum and therapy as well as recreation.

Take these to your principal and urge approval of a game group as part of the official extracurricular activities program of your school, and be prepared to demonstrate how the games can be used to supplement the classroom curriculum. (Millians' is primarily in-class use, while Cardwell's is aimed at demonstrating RPG as an education tool regardless of where used.)

The public venue for youth gaming is essential. Failing getting it to be an official school function, a church being best - if they totally support the activity as opposed to merely providing space. Otherwise they will be the target of a divisive campaign against the church. Small towns rarely have recreation centers nor libraries with enough space.

This is still no sure defense. I heard rumors of such attacks when I had a book and hobby store in a small town, but no one had to courage to give me any details so I could take legal action for defamation. The ludoteque (game room) was in the same space as the used book department and as a result had shoppers there most of the time. Still, the game-bashers apparently were at work, although without success.

If you need to go the lawyer route, have him contact CAR-PGa immediately when when case is filed and we will attempt an amicus curiae brief. Although the court must grant permission for the brief to be accepted, it could help. For that, we would need the details of the case and the format for such a brief in your state (they vary a bit from one jurisdiction to another).

GAMA's address is Box 1210, Scottsdale, AZ 85252, 480-675-0205, www.gama.org. As the name (GAme Manufacturers' Association) implies, GAMA is overwhelmingly game manufacturers.

CAR-PGa is at 1127 Cedar, Bonham, TX 75418, 903 583-9296, carpgachair@yahoo.com. CAR-PGa is open to any, with nonmonetary dues (documented work for the cause) and information can be found at www.theescapist.com/car-pga. They also have a discussion group on yahoogroups.com/car-pga (which is where I found this case.).

Get in touch offline in any case.

Paul Cardwell


Having finally had a chance to wade through all the replies (I only have Internet access at the public library and the hour is usually up just checking my e-mail), I find a sympathy with Dr. Awkward, Mythusmage, and Corinth.

Like Jefferson, I fear for my country when I reflect that God is just. A building in Oklahoma City is blown up and people are outraged, but get over it. After all, it was a US Government building and the demolisher was a home-grown terrorist. An office building in New York gets blown up and people forget it was owned by a governmental agency (the Port of New York Authority) but most in it were multinational corporations and the demolishers were from outside the country. Therefore we not only nulify most of the Bill of Rights and a substantial part of the rest of the Constitution, but have the gall to call it Patriot!

Yes, fighting for freedom, due process, and innocense until proven guilty beyond all reasonable doubt is dangerous. It is true that the family suffers along with the patriot. I know I spent six years in exile (merci, Canada) because I needed to feed my family and the blacklists wouldn't let me in my own country.

Yes, small towns can be a pill, although I hardly think D20 is in a small town. It seems to have a university (mine doesn't) and a community center (mine doesn't), and at least a five-digit population figure (mine missed it by ten in the last census). Indeed, until the state mandated it, my ludoteque was the nearest thing to a recreation program other than athletics in town. As the saying developed, "If the teen hang-out is a book store, you know you have problems."

Nonetheless, freedom is like fitness, use it or lose it.
 
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francisca

I got dice older than you.
d20fool said:
Thank you all for your support. What a sad world when teaching children to use guns to kill animals (i.e. hunting) is acceptable but a creativity, imagination, being social and reading hard books and doing math (i.e. D&D) is not.
That's awefully political.
 

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