D&D 5E Dealing with a trouble player and a major blow up

[Majoru Oakheart]

As a side note, I just found out that the entire time I was having this text message conversation with his gf, she was texting MY gf. After I mentioned to her that my gf was kind of angry that she cancelled all her plans and spent a bunch of time preparing an adventure only to show up and be told to leave their house before we actually played, then his gf texted mine in order to apologize that they caused her problems and to tell her that they'd be happy to hang out with her as long as she didn't bring me.

This made my girlfriend even more angry. When we eventually got to the point where his gf said "Well, then we shouldn't hang out anymore" she then texted my girlfriend to let her know that none of this was her fault and it looked like they wouldn't be seeing her anymore.

This made my girlfriend even more angry. She's kind of happy we won't be seeing them anymore.

 

[billd91]

They try to drive a wedge between you and your girlfriend and she sticks up for you. Nice.

 

[Umbran]

Classy.

 

[JackOfAllTirades]

Sounds like you're already on your way towards building a new gaming group if your GF is sticking with you.

Good work.

 

[Dausuul]

She's kind of happy we won't be seeing them anymore.

Your girlfriend is a woman of wisdom and sound judgement.

I know you didn't want it to work out this way, but it's good that it did. Life's too short.

 

[delericho]

Ah, yes. I stand corrected. I do believe my points are valid just the same. Find friends that you can be real with and they'll be real friends. Deal directly and not through third parties. It's a mature way of handling adversity.

In general, you're right that it's better to speak to the person involved directly, and indeed it's better to do so face-to-face rather than through text, email, or whatever.

But in this specific case, the relationship had broken down to a point where that really wasn't a good idea. Indeed, the less MO had with that other couple, and especially the guy, the better. And, of course, as we know from 4e: specific rules trump general ones.

 

[Majoru Oakheart]

In general, you're right that it's better to speak to the person involved directly, and indeed it's better to do so face-to-face rather than through text, email, or whatever.

But in this specific case, the relationship had broken down to a point where that really wasn't a good idea. Indeed, the less MO had with that other couple, and especially the guy, the better. And, of course, as we know from 4e: specific rules trump general ones.

I want to, at the very least do this via phone. But I work nights so I wake up at 6 pm every day. I had plans with people every day that week. I realized that for me to put aside the 30-60 minutes to talk on the phone about this was going to be impossible before our Sunday game and I wanted to give an explanation before then. I didn't want everyone showing up and wondering where my roommate and I are.

I talked to her because I thought I could explain in detail to her my issue and she would take it reasonably and possibly say "you're right. He has been getting too angry over things he shouldn't have and I'll talk to him and make him understand that he can't treat people like that. It won't happen again. I promise you."

She wears the pants in that relationship and if she told him she disagreed with his behavior he would try to change immediate.

I thought it was my only chance to salvage the relationship with them.

But she didn't. She said she agreed with him entirely and that he had every right to be angry over the things I've done.

I just said I wasn't coming to a D&D anymore. She's the one who said if I had issues with the way he got angry then we couldn't speak at all any more.

 

[Majoru Oakheart]

As a side note, I posted on Facebook that I'd like to start a new weekly game to play Out of the Abyss. I managed to get 7 people signed up immediately. I only want 6 and I am not a huge fan of the role playing ability of 2 of them. But I'm not sure I can tell them no easily. Also, all but 1 I've gamed with before. So, who knows how this'll turn out.

 

[Creamsteak]

More than likely someone will have to concede just for scheduling reasons.

 

[Evandis]

I have just finished reading this entire post. I hate to tell you this OP, but you are a LARGE part of the problem. I started to see where you were the problem with the update about the last blow up, but it really hit home when during your text message to the GF that you passive aggressively attacked her with that whole "I know you have to stick up for him" crap.

If you don't see where you need to reflect on yourself and change your approach, you will lose many more friends in the future. As of right now, of everything that has been read, I think the guy in question is a moron, I think his girlfriend is a moron and I think you are completely blind to how much of an antagonizer you are.

I hate stupid people too, in fact I hate them with raw passion to a level most people might not understand. I think it is just part of being a person who is naturally intelligent and adept, but I know you catch more flies with honey than vinegar, and you are pouring vinegar all over the place.