Dealing with bickering players.
delericho
Legend
Remind them that you're there to play a game together, and that they should leave their personal dramas at the door.
Where they're talking over one another, you'll need to step in to direct the conversation - stop them both, then call on one to speak and then the other. (And don't adjudicate either action until both have said their piece - this is about directing conversation flow, not playing favourites. Also, next time make sure to ask the other player to go first.)
Where they're talking over one another, you'll need to step in to direct the conversation - stop them both, then call on one to speak and then the other. (And don't adjudicate either action until both have said their piece - this is about directing conversation flow, not playing favourites. Also, next time make sure to ask the other player to go first.)
Ralif Redhammer
Legend
For getting group consensus, I’m a big fan of either giving the group a deadline of two minutes or so to come to a decision, or just going with a simple show of hands for the discussed options and going with the majority.
Now, as far as real interpersonal trouble goes, I think delericho has the right of it. We’re here to game, and while a DM has to wear many hats, peacemaker shouldn’t have to be one of them if they can’t behave like adults. It's on them to get along, or go elsewhere to game (not always an option, I know).
Now, as far as real interpersonal trouble goes, I think delericho has the right of it. We’re here to game, and while a DM has to wear many hats, peacemaker shouldn’t have to be one of them if they can’t behave like adults. It's on them to get along, or go elsewhere to game (not always an option, I know).
pdzoch
Explorer
I often have siblings in the game group and the bickering is generally more intense and frequent with them than with other players. The same is true of my younger players. Thankfully, my married players haven't been prone to conflict, but that may be because their children are also playing or are nearby.
Anytime the argument begins to interrupt the game flow, I will intervene. If the discussion is not related to the game, I ask them to cease the discussion, reminding them to focus on the game. This is easier to enforce on younger players. I've observed a few arguments that were real life issues that needed to be resolved, and I will adjourn the game for a short break to allow the couple to solve the problem quicker and without an audience. Though this is rare, but does occur when some real life obligations are involved.
In game bickering is more frequent among my passionate players and alpha gamers. I consider this part of the role play and usually born of a challenge presented to the group that is stressing them, so I am usually prepared for it (or at least not surprised by the tension). I manage the tension, and ensure the game time is paused so that each player's idea can be presented clearly and respectfully heard. Usually, the opportunity to clarify positions resolves the issue or reaches an agreed compromise.
In those rare cases when the players are still at odds with each other, I ask them, "What would your character do?" And most importantly, "What would your character do as a member of this adventuring team?" The latter question tends to steer those maverick players from acting selfishly or destructively. I also remind them to accept the consequences of their actions, a sort of "Is that your final answer?" phrase. I do mitigate planned consequences when it is clearly one player acting indifferent to everyone else and modify affects accordingly (The fireball trapped chest is triggered, but misfires somehow, causing most damage to guilty character but reduced damage to the rest (convincingly rolled behind the DM screen)).
I keep an eye on any player who starts to become so frustrated that they actually take it out on their character or their teammates. Snack breaks are very useful to relieve some tension.
Anytime the argument begins to interrupt the game flow, I will intervene. If the discussion is not related to the game, I ask them to cease the discussion, reminding them to focus on the game. This is easier to enforce on younger players. I've observed a few arguments that were real life issues that needed to be resolved, and I will adjourn the game for a short break to allow the couple to solve the problem quicker and without an audience. Though this is rare, but does occur when some real life obligations are involved.
In game bickering is more frequent among my passionate players and alpha gamers. I consider this part of the role play and usually born of a challenge presented to the group that is stressing them, so I am usually prepared for it (or at least not surprised by the tension). I manage the tension, and ensure the game time is paused so that each player's idea can be presented clearly and respectfully heard. Usually, the opportunity to clarify positions resolves the issue or reaches an agreed compromise.
In those rare cases when the players are still at odds with each other, I ask them, "What would your character do?" And most importantly, "What would your character do as a member of this adventuring team?" The latter question tends to steer those maverick players from acting selfishly or destructively. I also remind them to accept the consequences of their actions, a sort of "Is that your final answer?" phrase. I do mitigate planned consequences when it is clearly one player acting indifferent to everyone else and modify affects accordingly (The fireball trapped chest is triggered, but misfires somehow, causing most damage to guilty character but reduced damage to the rest (convincingly rolled behind the DM screen)).
I keep an eye on any player who starts to become so frustrated that they actually take it out on their character or their teammates. Snack breaks are very useful to relieve some tension.
Celebrim
Legend
Force them to stay in character. Remind them that they can be held accountable for anything that they say that isn't specifically a rules question as if their PC said it in world, and that they should primarily be playing their character. Do not allow players to react on information conveyed OOC, and site that behavior as metagaming.
Remind them also that as DM, it's your job to resolve rules issues - not theirs.
If they get off topic, and its not something the whole table is enjoying, remind them gently that we need to continue with the game. During combat, if arguments break out, remind them that they have only a limited amount of time to make their decisions, and skip their place in the initiative if they can't stay focused within a reasonable amount of time - I like to count to six.
Remind them as gently as possible also that in the heat of combat, they don't have time and often don't have ability to communicate at length or bicker over strategy. Each player is responsible for playing only their PC, and not their neighbors PCs. If they wish to communicate with their neighbor, they have to do so on their turn and IC, with a reasonable limit on content (a single sentence, usually).
If gentle reminders don't work, you'll need to pull the player(s) aside privately and express your concern about the direction of play and the lack of respect that the player is showing his fellow players. This is one of the most uncomfortable discussions you'll ever have as a DM, but at some point it has to be done. Whatever you do, do not call out or embarrass a player in front of another player, unless its gotten to the point of physical bullying.
Remind them also that as DM, it's your job to resolve rules issues - not theirs.
If they get off topic, and its not something the whole table is enjoying, remind them gently that we need to continue with the game. During combat, if arguments break out, remind them that they have only a limited amount of time to make their decisions, and skip their place in the initiative if they can't stay focused within a reasonable amount of time - I like to count to six.
Remind them as gently as possible also that in the heat of combat, they don't have time and often don't have ability to communicate at length or bicker over strategy. Each player is responsible for playing only their PC, and not their neighbors PCs. If they wish to communicate with their neighbor, they have to do so on their turn and IC, with a reasonable limit on content (a single sentence, usually).
If gentle reminders don't work, you'll need to pull the player(s) aside privately and express your concern about the direction of play and the lack of respect that the player is showing his fellow players. This is one of the most uncomfortable discussions you'll ever have as a DM, but at some point it has to be done. Whatever you do, do not call out or embarrass a player in front of another player, unless its gotten to the point of physical bullying.
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AaronOfBarbaria
Adventurer
Do what you can to figure out the root cause, and solve it.
But that means being prepared to remove one of the players from the group if the root cause is with your group anything like what it was with mine the last time I had players bickering, which was that one of those players considered the bickering to be the "fun part" of a session.
But that means being prepared to remove one of the players from the group if the root cause is with your group anything like what it was with mine the last time I had players bickering, which was that one of those players considered the bickering to be the "fun part" of a session.
S
Sunseeker
Guest
Iron fist. Tell them to behave or get out. Get the other players to help out, DMs shouldn't have to bear the burden of obnoxious players alone and peer pressure can work wonders.
I've never played in a game where everybody was forced to stay in character. I suspect I would not enjoy it.
Celebrim
Legend
Probably not, but I'm talking about handling a situation where the players have begun bickering, or when bickering and argument have become common enough that its interfering with the enjoyment of the game.
If you had not snipped out my explanation, you would have also read things like: "If they get off topic, and its not something the whole table is enjoying, remind them gently that we need to continue with the game."
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