DM Dilemma - Need Help

[Popinsky]

Hey All,

I've been a long time lurker (this is my first post) but I've run into a problem where I need some advice.

First off, the group I play with is awesome, great roleplayers and all, and we have a great time. The problem is, Ken (not his real name) is a homosexual and is blatantly hitting on one of the other players. Recently, he went as far as to create a female character (elven druid, 18 Cha), and begin hitting on Rick's (again, not his real name) character in game. Basically, Rick's gettting hit on all night, in game and out, and it's making him VERY uncomfortable.

Ken is very open about his homosexuality (not a problem, we're all adults), and Rick has made it quite clear that he's not interested. Even though, Ken persists, though he's been told how Rick feels. Ken's a great roleplayer, and we don't want lose him but it's starting to get uncomfortable.

Any and all advice would be appreciated.

Thanks,

Matt

 

[alsih2o]

first, welcome to the boards.


as for your problem, would you tolerate this if one was a female? it is the same thing. don't treat ken differently, or rick. someone needs to explain some things in a very blunt way, imho

 

[Alchemist]

I agree. Just because it's same-sex dosen't make it alright. Tell him to stow it or take a hike.

 

[cousin_avi]

Well Pop, you indeed do have a pickle on your hands. Well what I would suggest is telling "Ken" that his behaviour towards "Rick" is unacceptable. Since Rick has already stated that he is NOT interested he should stop his come ons as it is interupting the flow of the game, as well as making another player uncomfortable. Its like those a**hole guys at bars that try and try and try to get girls depite their "no thanks" Tell Ken that he should either get the hell out of the game or grow up. How old is he anyway, I find it hard to believe he is more than 18 or he would have stopped by now. Nothing against gays (I seriously mean that) but in this case he is totally in the wrong.

I hope this helps

P.S. I am sure the gay gamers on this board would agree with me, this guys it seems is just out for attention

 

[TiQuinn]

The only way to deal with it is to tell Ken to stop doing it or leave the game. He may be a good roleplayer, but he's making a unwanted advance on another player....that's not good any way you slice it.

 

[barsoomcore]

Lose him. He's not THAT great a role-player.

If he's been told to back off, if it's been made clear to him that this sort of conduct is impeding other people's enjoyment of the game, and he is persisting, then he needs to go his own way.

Don't make Rick put up with this. You'll only end up with two annoyed players. Keep the one who isn't ignoring other people's feelings, is my advice.

 

[Anabstercorian]

As one of the resident fruits

I'd have to say that this guy is being VERY rude! Put it to him straight that what he's doing is completely unacceptable by your standards of table behavior. If he wants to molest straight men, then dammit, he should go do it someplace where he can get arrested for it.

 

[Cedric]

Just to offer a different opinion...consider that "ken" may not realize he is so openly flirting with "rick".

You might actually have really good results if you talk to him privately and let him know that it seems to you that he is flirting with "rick" a good bit in and out of game and it seems to be making "rick" uncomfortable.

Make it clear to him that you know he wouldn't intentionally be making "rick" uncomfortable and to please be more careful with how he directs his attention.

If he still doesn't get the point, then it's time to lay down the law, but start out by making it clear you are serious and something has to change. You are trying hard to make this as polite and fair as possible.

Cedric

 

[cousin_avi]

Pop, can you tell us when your next game is and update us of what happens, I am very interested to see if this works out for you. Just before you do anything I would take "Rick" aside and say "I am going to to tell Ken (whatever you are going to do)" as your decision might make Rick more uncomfortable. I agree with the other posters you must be firm and stern with "ken". Change or get the funk out.

I am sure everything will work out

 

[jasper]

tell ken that rick does not want him. And if ken does not back off show ken the door and tell him to come back next week.
Repeat until ken behaves or does not come back.