Dm Seeking Advice on How To Remotivate my self and my Group

[SiderisAnon]

Play board games for a while.

Then try something completely different for a one-shot or short run. There are systems out there which are cheap or free, so you don't have to waste money on something you'll only use once.

After that, see where things go with the group. People change over years. The people you grew up with may not be those you game with for your entire life simply because people evolve to want different things. If everyone at the table wants something completely different, it may be time for the group to go their separate ways. You can still hang out with your friends; board games are a great excuse if nothing else works.



In the mean time, if there are no other possible games in your area, try finding an online game if you can. It would give you exposure to different people and different styles of gaming. I find that playing with people who are completely different once in a while really helps refresh my gaming.

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

Today, 01:07 AM #11 (permalink)
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[terrya]

You sound a bit burnt out. I like to take a break now and then to refresh the DMing battery, usually about 3 months is good. Take the time to mull over ideas, maybe consider trying a shorter campaign in a different world, even a different ruleset. Zombies or something.

This is where im at currently. I was considering tonight when were due to play asking everyone to put forward somthing they might like to try, whether its as small as module weve not tryed before or as drastic as moving back to 1E or a new system all togther and seeing which idea gets the most votes and just giving it a go. I did suggest playing warhammer instead for a while but only 2 of us have armies and its quite an expensive hobby to get into. Board games also are not usally a good idea as were very competive people, monolopy is banned in our house at christmas due to the arguments it causes ^.^.

 

[Teataine]

Hey, terrya.

As others have said, burnout is something that happens, especially if you've been playing together for a very long time. There are some things that you can usually do to refresh your gaming:
-find new players to add to the group (you say this is very hard, but I'm still mentioning it)
-shuffle the GM role around - is there anyone in your group who hasn't been a GM before and might take up the mantle, at least for a while?
-change the game(system) - if I read your post correctly you guys have been playing D&D in some form or another for 13 years, you've switched editions, but it's still D&D. Have you considered giving another system or genre a go? And it's not necessarily even an investment, there are plenty of free RPGs online.
-playing other games, non-RPGs. You say boardgames are a bad idea because you're competitive. Our group has had great success with collaborative boargames! Have you tried any? There's stuff like Arkham Horror or the new D&D boardgames (Wrath of Ashardalon, Castle Ravenloft and Legend of Drizzt) and the Battlestar Galactica boardgame (although that one has a "traitor" player). In these games the players play against the game, no room for arguments.

Any of the above might help you inject new energy into your gaming.

However, based on my experience with my own group, your problem might run a little deeper. I was in a similar situation years ago, and the problem was that I wanted something from the game that simply wasn't there and I didn't know how to get it. It took a long time for me to figure out why my gaming wasn't satisfying, which games worked for me, which didn't and on which levels. Also how these games worked for my friends. It looks like you and your friends have different priorities about play. You all agree that verisimilitude is important, but there are other, potentially conflicting goals.

I find that simply asking others "what do you want to play?" is often not very productive. People will either suggest wildly different things or say "I don't care." or be afraid to voice their opinion because they don't want to infringe on others. Something like the "Same Page Tool" might work better, but I don't find it ideal - perhaps even the opposite. The value of something like the "same page tool" is recognizing that there are different priorities and approaches to play and burnout often happens when you're trying to juggle between them. It can be beneficial to clarify what you want, focus your game and develop or learn techniques that optimize that sort of play. I know you have been playing for 13 years (I've been playing for 11), and you already know very well "how to play" but maybe it's like knowing how to play the piano really well but you actually want to play the guitar, if you know what I mean.

So when you ask in the original post for advice on "what I'm doing wrong" then I need to ask "doing wrong for what purpose?". There is no universal "doing wrong", only relative to your goals and objectives. ("Keeping the group together." and "Revitalizing play." are too broad and general objectives.)

P.S.: You say the "best D&D" was still with your father. Did your father actively teach you how to DM? Instruct you in the techniques he was using? Really show you how he ran the game? You know, the principles, tacit rules, guidelines and procedures he was using? There's a lot of unspoken stuff in the books that's very hard to learn on your own.

 

[Argyle King]

As others have suggested, I would say to take a small break. The group could still hang out; just do different activities for a few weeks. Allow each member to choose one activity if that helps.

You may also consider trying a different system. Maybe some novelty value would help. Perhaps run a one shot or a mini-series of a different genre. Take a break from swords and spells and elves; try some guns and ammo or being part of a crew on a spaceship for a little bit. Worst case scenario, you don't like it, and you're reminded why you do like the things you were doing.

 

[terrya]

Hey, terrya.

As others have said, burnout is something that happens, especially if you've been playing together for a very long time. There are some things that you can usually do to refresh your gaming:
-find new players to add to the group (you say this is very hard, but I'm still mentioning it)
-shuffle the GM role around - is there anyone in your group who hasn't been a GM before and might take up the mantle, at least for a while?
-change the game(system) - if I read your post correctly you guys have been playing D&D in some form or another for 13 years, you've switched editions, but it's still D&D. Have you considered giving another system or genre a go? And it's not necessarily even an investment, there are plenty of free RPGs online.
-playing other games, non-RPGs. You say boardgames are a bad idea because you're competitive. Our group has had great success with collaborative boargames! Have you tried any? There's stuff like Arkham Horror or the new D&D boardgames (Wrath of Ashardalon, Castle Ravenloft and Legend of Drizzt) and the Battlestar Galactica boardgame (although that one has a "traitor" player). In these games the players play against the game, no room for arguments.

Any of the above might help you inject new energy into your gaming.

However, based on my experience with my own group, your problem might run a little deeper. I was in a similar situation years ago, and the problem was that I wanted something from the game that simply wasn't there and I didn't know how to get it. It took a long time for me to figure out why my gaming wasn't satisfying, which games worked for me, which didn't and on which levels. Also how these games worked for my friends. It looks like you and your friends have different priorities about play. You all agree that verisimilitude is important, but there are other, potentially conflicting goals.

I find that simply asking others "what do you want to play?" is often not very productive. People will either suggest wildly different things or say "I don't care." or be afraid to voice their opinion because they don't want to infringe on others. Something like the "Same Page Tool" might work better, but I don't find it ideal - perhaps even the opposite. The value of something like the "same page tool" is recognizing that there are different priorities and approaches to play and burnout often happens when you're trying to juggle between them. It can be beneficial to clarify what you want, focus your game and develop or learn techniques that optimize that sort of play. I know you have been playing for 13 years (I've been playing for 11), and you already know very well "how to play" but maybe it's like knowing how to play the piano really well but you actually want to play the guitar, if you know what I mean.

So when you ask in the original post for advice on "what I'm doing wrong" then I need to ask "doing wrong for what purpose?". There is no universal "doing wrong", only relative to your goals and objectives. ("Keeping the group together." and "Revitalizing play." are too broad and general objectives.)

P.S.: You say the "best D&D" was still with your father. Did your father actively teach you how to DM? Instruct you in the techniques he was using? Really show you how he ran the game? You know, the principles, tacit rules, guidelines and procedures he was using? There's a lot of unspoken stuff in the books that's very hard to learn on your own.

- There is one of the 3 capable of dming and thats my brother. But if you read my orginal post about him I'm sure you can work out where the problems arise if he does.
- I have been looking at castle & crusaders and Hackmaster but their both at the end of the day still D&D. In my early youth I played a bit of traveler but the fantasy setting is 100% preffered by our group.
-I will try investing in some of the board games youve mentioned. Sound's like a decent idea but i cant see it being a long term fix which i guess is what im after

A huge amount of how i see D&D is passed to me by my dad who is a bit of perfectionist in the fact that if he does somthing he will do it 100% right. So when he DM's roleplay is a must, you stay in charecter and there is no out of game talk. Now this would not suit everyone but i loved it more than i can possibly describe and i try to base my Dming and expectations of the game around it, which is probably why at times i am so disapointed with my group currently who are not the types to comit to somthing on that level, where as i am. When i play i treat it as a second job almost as if the charecter was me where as some see it as a game to pass the time. This is the conflict of intrests im trying to overcome and find a happy medium

 

[underthumb]

Have you considered trying other RPGs? I know when I first tried GURPS it really revitalized my interest in playing. GURPS might not be for you, but there are a lot of other great games out there.

 

[DnD_Dad]

Sounds like you need to take a break.