D&D 5E DMs, what are the most baffling and/or pointless questions your players ask?

[transtemporal]

Oh god, this reminds me.

Ha ha, you also reminded me. We were on a galleon.

Halfling PC asks the DM "Will I die if I jump down from the crows nest?"
DM says "You'll take 1d10 damage per 10ft fallen, so 3d10 damage"
Player says "OK, I jump down"
DM rolls damage "You take 23 points of damage"
Player says "WHAT?! I only have 11hp! You said I wouldn't die!"
DM: "No, I said you'd take 3d10 damage"

Classic. I have a feeling that player wasn't good at listening, or math. Or both.

 

[Antonlowe]

This is more or less how Odysseus did it.

Yeah, but Homer was a horrible DM. 10 years of downtime just trying to get home from the adventure. BORING!!!

 

[Saeviomagy]

Usually when I get asked this question it is because they want to peer through the keyhole to see what's on the other side. I explain that that's not how keyholes really work in the real world, at least not in my world, and they usually get the idea and don't ask again.

It's not how modern keyholes work, but go back 50 or so years and it's pretty accurate.

 

[machineelf]

It's not how modern keyholes work, but go back 50 or so years and it's pretty accurate.

That's why I specified "not in my world." I remember my great-grandparents had keyholes in their doors you could look through.


But anyway, I explain to my players early on that in my world there are no keyholes you can look through, and they stop asking that question.

Sent from my VS990 using Tapatalk

 

[Nebulous]

"can I roll an insight check?"

This won't follow a particularly suspicious statement made by an NPC. This won't even follow a complete statement made by an NPC. This won't be made by the person interacting with an NPC, and will frequently interrupt another player who is interacting with the NPC. If I ask them "what are you looking for?", they will tell me that they're just trying to get a general sense of...trustworthiness? And if I ask them why their character finds this NPC suspicious, they won't know.

This will happen every single time the party interacts with any NPC.

Players try to use Insight like mind reading or telepathy, and heaven forbid they roll a 19 or 20, they expect you to divulge all the NPCs secrets!

 

[machineelf]

Players try to use Insight like mind reading or telepathy, and heaven forbid they roll a 19 or 20, they expect you to divulge all the NPCs secrets!

My players are welcome to ask to roll insight whenever they want, but when they do, they tell me their modifier and I roll for them behind the screen.

I usually want my players to do as much rolling themselves as they can, but this is one case where I think there's a lot of benefit to doing a secret roll. After the roll, I tell them what they believe about the situation. Of course, they don't know if they rolled high or low. It can be really fun when two or more characters all make the roll, and two get one answer, and one gets the opposite answer. I find that it encourages role-play, because my players will act out, through their character, what their character believes based on the roll.

But this may be a difference between how my players role-play vs. how other people role-play. If someone just wants the answer, and wants a roll so they can be told the answer, then they will not like my method, especially when more than one person rolls and they all get different results. If they aren't interested in acting their character and the roll out, then they will be annoyed that they still aren't sure what the "truth" is.

Anyway, even if they roll a 20, I will tell them what their gut hunch is, which will be a correct hunch, but they still will not get extremely specific information.

 

[Satyrn]

Surely it should be "The Lusty Argonian Maid"?

 

[doctorbadwolf]

"can I roll an insight check?"

This won't follow a particularly suspicious statement made by an NPC. This won't even follow a complete statement made by an NPC. This won't be made by the person interacting with an NPC, and will frequently interrupt another player who is interacting with the NPC. If I ask them "what are you looking for?", they will tell me that they're just trying to get a general sense of...trustworthiness? And if I ask them why their character finds this NPC suspicious, they won't know.

This will happen every single time the party interacts with any NPC.

Give them a passive insight, and tell them their first impression upon meeting the NPC?

 

[doctorbadwolf]

Here's one:

The party encounters a door.
Player: "What sort of door-handle is it?"

I have been asked this question at least 10 times in the past year, and I have no idea why. It never seems to make the slightest difference in what they do.

Next time, I think I'll say, "an octopus," and see what happens.

What baffles me is hat it doesn't hangs what they do ?

Like....nothing on you, no assumptions, but are you just giving them effectively the same door every time?

But if so, why keep asking?

And if not, why isn't it impacting how they go forward?

In the parlance of the youths, I am confuse.

 

[MiraMels]

Give them a passive insight, and tell them their first impression upon meeting the NPC?

I mean, they have a passive insight, and I'm not stingy with information about impressions NPCs give off, but they still ask.

So what I've done instead, is rule that active insight checks are discernible events. Other NPCs will notice and sometimes comment upon the suspicious glances, the probing questions, and incredulous looks of the PCs.