Due to IC and OCC...

[John a.k.a Sir D]

Due to In Character and Out Of Character stuff that continually affects me and deteriorates my mentality level, I do not know many things. For example, I cannot remember a lot of RPing sessions that have happened, and minor, important details I do not remember, as well as a lot of the major ones. For this I apologize. I do not know if I will be able to RP to the best of my abilities now, not that they were that good originally anyway, but I will try. With the growing stress and severe depression that everyone accumulates through life, I will eventually undergo another collapsing moment when I will be not showing up in ISRP too often.
I know this because I can barely tolerate to do so now, and to do so now takes great effort on my part. I also appear to be very slow when RPing simply because I cannot get my mind from straying off on other matters. Sorry if this seems sudden, abrupt, stupid, or terribly written, for I am over-exhausted by far and terribly distracted. Once things start to clear up for me, I will be fine, but until then, I just have to note a few things: One being relationships on this site. They don't work, I don't recommend them, I am starting to glare at people who have them. The relationships on here seem to be quite sad, as none never work out, with the occasional one. It is very sad in my mind when I keep seeing my entire character destroyed because of this, and many have been.
This only leads to greater stress and depression on my part, which I am currently trying to fix and deal with. I also recommend others to refrain from OCC talking, as it just seems to end up hurting you more than anything. This has been proven within a six month period for me. I would like to apologize...once again, to everyone on this site, particularly the ones who I have hurt in this process, one of them most of all. I don't know if she'll even consider ever talking to me again, once again adding to my mentality level. Between school, work, and not having a life, but having continuous thoughts stream through my imagination, I am trying my best to make things work. I have currently seemed to have made several mistakes, dozens even within the last week and a half.
Once again, I wish everyone the best of luck on this site, and one last piece of information. When your character faces death, and is in a relationship, don't allow him to die, unless you actually want him/her to, it results in a lot of confusion, fighting, and if your character comes back, it ruins them in most situations. Thanks to all who still put up with me, though for how long I don't know, and to add one thing on the plus side, I have been accepted to my college, to pursue my career path in Psychology. Eight more years of school to get my Masters Degree, wish me luck lol.
John

 

[Alek]

. . .

 

[Magi_Trelian]

John, we wish you the best of luck, always!

Much of what you're experiencing comes from the normal stress of this time of your life. And some of it also comes from maybe too high expectations of other players, not allowing for the normal stresses of their lives, and trying to follow their expectations of you when it's not a path down which you want to go. People often tend to project too much of themselves into their characters and when that char isn't accepted, they feel hurt. There's also the usual confusions of RPing without a DM which can lead to out-of-character accusations of betrayal and general anger and upsetment. I'm very sorry that these seem to have happened to you.

To address your advice to other players:

There are in-character relationships in ISRP that have gone on for several years, though usually it takes experienced players to handle it since there becomes the problem of "what to do" with the chars to keep the storyline interesting. Often such relationships take several months to be established to help give the chars some common history and to make sure both the chars and the players work well together, and even so these can disintegrate when one of the two players leaves the site. But in general, figure that any two chars that "fall in love" the same day or week they meet, will split up within the month. (Oddly enough, this applies to real life, too. ;-))

Similarly, talking to others OOC can be a great way to get a trusting working relationship with other players and help you understand their character's motivations and where they intend to go with that char. It can also lead to actual friendships. But as in any group of people, it can also lead to problems when people don't reciprocate friendship on the same level. If this is happening, it's best to keep the OOC conversations to the characters and storyline and avoid the personal.

 

[Merle]

Damn

John,

Please, PLEASE ask for help from those around you, real-life or otherwise. Do whatever is necessary to get better - and rest assured, it does get better with the right doctor and treatment.

While I don't know exactly what's going on in your life, I've been through similar nightmares as both an observer and (for lack of a better word) victim.

I'll spare the gruesome details on a public space like this, but the ones around me are the reason I'm alive and well today - and I can't thank them enough for their help in pulling me back the life-ending decision I made.

While our characters rarely see eye-to-eye, YOU will be sorely missed.

Godspeed, John.

Merle's player (notavalid@hotmail.com)

 

[Amalie]

What is going on, John?

On-site relationships work you just have to take time a patience to actually make things happen. I hope you're not talking about me there, because if so.. What the heck happened last night for that? Well, you have fun and I hope to see you tonight. Go eat a banana, that should help with your depression.

 

[Unbeliever]

I was going to stay quiet. But I feel I need to put my .02 cents in here. Depression is serious, please seek help in your neighborhood. There are plenty of free, volunteer services for dealing with such through local churches and outreach programs if cash is an issue. Just look in your local yellowpages.

Now, as far as In character relationships go, they are just that....in character. The fact that such trivial relationships as that from an online roleplaying chat room are disturbing you and depressing you, I feel you really should reassess your life with the help of counselling. This place, truthfully, aside from enjoying and making friends should have no bearing on your personal life.

If you are looking for an actual relationship, this is not the place to look for one, people log in from all over the world here and most likely arent from anywhere near your home town.

Get some help, come back and enjoy the site for what it is. A place to have fun and roleplay.

Why is it always the psyc majors that are completely farbotz?

 

[James V]

Lets remember 2 things. This is a fantasy world we RP in, characters we made, I see so many people complain that nothings happening, or trying to rush things. Personally I've probably made that mistake a few times. Heres the deal though, you just need to take a week break and you'll be back. OOC stress sucks, we've all been there. Right now for me I'm stressed to the max...anyway this is what i'm saying. Just relax, take a deep breath, things will be fine, I'm sure of it. It's easy to forget that we're here to have fun, not here to cause problems, If players are causing problems with your character, you simply need to say, Not now, we'll discuss this later, I am in control of what my character does, not you. Then just give 'em a so they know you mean it in a friendly way. I hope this helps out

 

[Nilah]

. . .

I was going to say something here...but unfortantly Alek's pos really says it for me. John if things are really THAT wrong IC then have you tried talking with the people who are supposedly doing this to you? And as for OOC....love it's a game, not a dating show.

Relationships IC? Yes many of them come and go...But I can also name MANY who have characters who have been together upwards of 7 years. I also know a few who dated and or were friends for a year or more before getting married. Course there are many of the "Meet, date, marry in a month" type relationships....I've also seen a few of the "SHoT Gun weddings." But hey..it's a game.

 

[Tharivious]

I also recommend others to refrain from OCC talking, as it just seems to end up hurting you more than anything. This has been proven within a six month period for me.

Ordinarily, I'd stay out of this, since I don't know you well enough to comment on any of the rest of it, but I noticed this part, and it stuck out like a sore thumb. So, bear with me while I disagree.

I've formed several meaningful friendships through the ISRP, that have lasted for nearly four years, going on toward five in some cases. More meaningful than the friendships I've had locally, in fact. This is a community website, and many, many players have had the same experience that I have in finding strong bonds with each other.

If you're truly having this much difficulty from interacting with other players out of character, perhaps it's more a matter of who you're interacting with, than the fact that you're interacting. Find people with more similar mindsets, or the same preferences in roleplaying styles, or some genuine common ground, and you'll have a much better experience. Will you connect with everyone? Of course not, but you don't connect with everyone you meet in a nightclub either.

Just because a few people burned you in some way, doesn't mean you should put a spin on it that might make new players browsing through try to avoid being a real part of the community.

 

[Nugan]

A lot of people on this thread have already offered advice and opinions, so I won't attempt to do so. Instead, I will say this: I understand.

I've suffered with severe depression as well for most of my life, but particularly for the last five years. I also have social anxiety, which makes my interactions with others strained, frightening, and difficult. I've often felt lonely, isolated, at odds with myself and others.

All of these feelings followed me into my out of character interacts with other players and often lead to miserable situations. While I struggled to create bonds with others, my paranoia and depression undermined them.

Like I said, I won't try to offer you any advice. I know that when I feel miserable it rarely helps to hear th suggestions of others. I will say, however, if you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to IM me.

I honestly hope that your life improves.