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<blockquote data-quote="TheAuldGrump" data-source="post: 1947283" data-attributes="member: 6957"><p>Hero (Sheathing his blade):</p><p>They never learn do they? (Laughs) Say, where are my henchmen anyway?</p><p></p><p>Wizard: </p><p>They ran away when they saw the goblins and orcs. What did you do, stop off at the first tavern you could find to hire help? (The candles still float around him, seeming to be looking for something)</p><p></p><p>Hero: </p><p>Ummm</p><p></p><p>Wizard: </p><p>I thought so.</p><p></p><p>Hero: </p><p>So where are we going now?</p><p></p><p>Wizard: </p><p>To get some <em>real</em> help.</p><p></p><p>Hero: </p><p>Does that mean giving them shares?</p><p></p><p>Wizard: </p><p>You get what you pay for.</p><p></p><p>Hero: </p><p>So who are we hiring?</p><p></p><p>Wizard: </p><p>Recruiting, not hiring, you saw how far hiring will get us.</p><p></p><p>Hero: </p><p>Who are we <em>recruiting</em> then?</p><p></p><p>Wizard:</p><p>A Cleric I know keeps a hermitage out in the woods. The chances are very good that we are going to need her services before this is done.</p><p></p><p>Hero:</p><p>Services? Healing and such?</p><p></p><p>Wizard: Or funerals and such, yes...</p><p></p><p>Hero: </p><p>And where is she, and this hermitage you say she has?</p><p></p><p>Wizard:</p><p>Unless I miss my guess she has been watching us for the last ten minutes or so.</p><p></p><p>Hero (startled):</p><p>She has? I never noticed her.</p><p></p><p>Wizard:</p><p>That is because you have been looking straight ahead, not checking your perimeter.</p><p></p><p>Hero:</p><p>Perimeter? You mean to the right and to the left? I've been keeping my eyes open! I spotted the Goblins didn't I?</p><p></p><p>Wizard (sighing):</p><p> After they had been following us for five minutes.</p><p></p><p>Hero:</p><p>They were following us for that long? Why didn't you tell me?</p><p></p><p>Wizard: </p><p>Because I wanted them all nice and tightly packed together so I could put them to sleep, then wake them up one at a time to question them. I tried to get you to notice them quietly.</p><p></p><p>Hero:</p><p>Oh? Why didn't you put them to sleep then?</p><p></p><p>Wizard: </p><p>Because as soon as you saw them you yelled 'goblin's' and charged them. Which would have meant putting you under as well.</p><p></p><p>Hero:</p><p>Hah! Well Wizard, you aren't as good as you think you are! I have looked right and left, and still no Cleric! You don't really know where she is, do you?</p><p></p><p>Wizard: You didn't look up, either.</p><p></p><p>Cleric (up in tree): </p><p>(Laughs) I wondered when you'd get around to telling him Harold!</p><p></p><p>Hero: </p><p>Harold?</p><p></p><p>Wizard (rolling eyes): </p><p>You didn't ask my name either. (Cue Music.)</p><p></p><p>Cleric:</p><p>(Laughs)</p><p></p><p>Wizard (singing):</p><p>You've got to learn boy!</p><p>Or you'll get burned boy!</p><p>Use that brain within your head boy!</p><p>Before the dragon kills you dead boy!</p><p></p><p>Why don't you think lad?</p><p>There is a link lad!</p><p>Something important that you have missed!</p><p>Or for some reason you've dismissed!</p><p></p><p>Cleric (speaking):</p><p>I think he's a little upset with you soldier.</p><p></p><p>Wizard (still singing):</p><p>Just look around boy!</p><p>Hear every sound boy!</p><p>For every thing you do not see,</p><p>May be a thing that does you dee!</p><p></p><p>Go wonder why boy!</p><p>Before you die boy!</p><p>If you do not know the answer,</p><p>Ask a question, take a chance, sir.</p><p></p><p>Cleric (dropping out of tree, still speaking):</p><p>Do you think he can Harold? He seems a little out of practice on the thinking side of things...</p><p></p><p>Wizard (still singing): </p><p>Go make a plan boy!</p><p>Think like a man, boy!</p><p>Don't just sit there like a doltling!</p><p>And just listen to my scolding!</p><p></p><p>Wizard (shouting not singing as the music ends abruptly):</p><p>In other words, you idiot use your head as something other than a hat rack! Ask questions if you don't know something, if someone calls you an idiot prove them wrong. Do <strong>SOMETHING!</strong> (Takes off his hat and throws it to the ground.)</p><p></p><p>Cleric:</p><p>Yes, he is definitely upset.</p><p></p><p>Hero:</p><p>But I'm a fighter sir, and my officer used to say...</p><p></p><p>Wizard: </p><p>And how do you think he became an officer, boy?</p><p></p><p>Hero (sulking): </p><p>It's not like you were ever in the Army or something...</p><p></p><p>Wizard (softly):</p><p>Bet you a gold on that?</p><p></p><p>Cleric:</p><p>(Laughs) Take it easy on him Sargeant, he's young yet.</p><p></p><p>Hero (very quietly):</p><p>Oh.</p><p></p><p>Wizard:</p><p>Now it's clear that you have something on your mind, but you've been focussed on the rewards for the job instead of the job itself. If you do that you won't ever <em>see</em> the reward.</p><p></p><p>There is a few more people that we need for the task at hand, specialists and (looks Hero up and down, as do two of his candles) maybe another strong arm for the front line. There's a dwarf in the hills not too far from here, we served together.</p><p></p><p>Hero:</p><p>So no henchman? Just party members?</p><p></p><p>Wizard: </p><p>Oh, we'll need henchmen all right, the ones you hired are back at the tavern by now.</p><p></p><p>Hero:</p><p>How do you know that?</p><p></p><p>Wizard:</p><p>I watched you pay them. Remember boy, half pay until the job is done, then the rest.</p><p></p><p>Hero:</p><p>But I always hated it when the officers did that to me.</p><p></p><p>Wizard:</p><p>Mercenary were you? I thought so.</p><p>Well think of it this way boy, it worked on you didn't it?</p><p></p><p>Hero:</p><p>My name's Robert.</p><p></p><p>Wizard:</p><p>What?</p><p></p><p>Hero:</p><p>My names Robert, not 'boy'.</p><p></p><p>Wizard:</p><p>Well Robert, that's a start.</p><p></p><p>(Fade)</p><p></p><p>The Auld Grump</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TheAuldGrump, post: 1947283, member: 6957"] Hero (Sheathing his blade): They never learn do they? (Laughs) Say, where are my henchmen anyway? Wizard: They ran away when they saw the goblins and orcs. What did you do, stop off at the first tavern you could find to hire help? (The candles still float around him, seeming to be looking for something) Hero: Ummm Wizard: I thought so. Hero: So where are we going now? Wizard: To get some [i]real[/i] help. Hero: Does that mean giving them shares? Wizard: You get what you pay for. Hero: So who are we hiring? Wizard: Recruiting, not hiring, you saw how far hiring will get us. Hero: Who are we [i]recruiting[/i] then? Wizard: A Cleric I know keeps a hermitage out in the woods. The chances are very good that we are going to need her services before this is done. Hero: Services? Healing and such? Wizard: Or funerals and such, yes... Hero: And where is she, and this hermitage you say she has? Wizard: Unless I miss my guess she has been watching us for the last ten minutes or so. Hero (startled): She has? I never noticed her. Wizard: That is because you have been looking straight ahead, not checking your perimeter. Hero: Perimeter? You mean to the right and to the left? I've been keeping my eyes open! I spotted the Goblins didn't I? Wizard (sighing): After they had been following us for five minutes. Hero: They were following us for that long? Why didn't you tell me? Wizard: Because I wanted them all nice and tightly packed together so I could put them to sleep, then wake them up one at a time to question them. I tried to get you to notice them quietly. Hero: Oh? Why didn't you put them to sleep then? Wizard: Because as soon as you saw them you yelled 'goblin's' and charged them. Which would have meant putting you under as well. Hero: Hah! Well Wizard, you aren't as good as you think you are! I have looked right and left, and still no Cleric! You don't really know where she is, do you? Wizard: You didn't look up, either. Cleric (up in tree): (Laughs) I wondered when you'd get around to telling him Harold! Hero: Harold? Wizard (rolling eyes): You didn't ask my name either. (Cue Music.) Cleric: (Laughs) Wizard (singing): You've got to learn boy! Or you'll get burned boy! Use that brain within your head boy! Before the dragon kills you dead boy! Why don't you think lad? There is a link lad! Something important that you have missed! Or for some reason you've dismissed! Cleric (speaking): I think he's a little upset with you soldier. Wizard (still singing): Just look around boy! Hear every sound boy! For every thing you do not see, May be a thing that does you dee! Go wonder why boy! Before you die boy! If you do not know the answer, Ask a question, take a chance, sir. Cleric (dropping out of tree, still speaking): Do you think he can Harold? He seems a little out of practice on the thinking side of things... Wizard (still singing): Go make a plan boy! Think like a man, boy! Don't just sit there like a doltling! And just listen to my scolding! Wizard (shouting not singing as the music ends abruptly): In other words, you idiot use your head as something other than a hat rack! Ask questions if you don't know something, if someone calls you an idiot prove them wrong. Do [b]SOMETHING![/b] (Takes off his hat and throws it to the ground.) Cleric: Yes, he is definitely upset. Hero: But I'm a fighter sir, and my officer used to say... Wizard: And how do you think he became an officer, boy? Hero (sulking): It's not like you were ever in the Army or something... Wizard (softly): Bet you a gold on that? Cleric: (Laughs) Take it easy on him Sargeant, he's young yet. Hero (very quietly): Oh. Wizard: Now it's clear that you have something on your mind, but you've been focussed on the rewards for the job instead of the job itself. If you do that you won't ever [i]see[/i] the reward. There is a few more people that we need for the task at hand, specialists and (looks Hero up and down, as do two of his candles) maybe another strong arm for the front line. There's a dwarf in the hills not too far from here, we served together. Hero: So no henchman? Just party members? Wizard: Oh, we'll need henchmen all right, the ones you hired are back at the tavern by now. Hero: How do you know that? Wizard: I watched you pay them. Remember boy, half pay until the job is done, then the rest. Hero: But I always hated it when the officers did that to me. Wizard: Mercenary were you? I thought so. Well think of it this way boy, it worked on you didn't it? Hero: My name's Robert. Wizard: What? Hero: My names Robert, not 'boy'. Wizard: Well Robert, that's a start. (Fade) The Auld Grump [/QUOTE]
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