Elven Relationships

[Nine Hands]

OK.

I have this high level group in the Forgotten Realms composed of exclusively elves (actually its a prerequiiste to have the character be at least partly elven). The character's are pretty diverse, the specific classes really have nothing to do with anything.

What I am looking for is people's opinions on elven relationships. Courting, marriage, love interests outside of marriage, arranged marriages, etc. Please keep this rated PG (not BOEF, its not needed in the game).

Basically, the way that I see elves is that they are so long lived that to settle down with a single mate is not always going to happen. Being mostly chaotic in alignment means they will change thier mind over time. But once committed, they may be committed for life. Marriage becomes an institution to bind different families together and for sealing deals. Affairs outside of marriage, while probably not a good idea are not looked down upon.

 

[Ankh-Morpork Guard]

I think it ends up being just as diverse as Humans. You can have really any reaction you want based on general outlook on life and personality. I would definatly see them as being much slower to court, though. Probably just longer to do everything.

 

[Tonguez]

Elfves have a very open and libetine approach to premarital sex and an elf will have a number of liasons throughout its lifetime. Gender is not an issue with Elves and intimate partners may be male or female (or other if thats possible in your world). For an Elf sex is simply an expression of intimacy with another creature and although most relationships are intraspecies cross species liaisons (especially with humans) are not uncommon.

Marriage between elves is political in nature designed to bind resources, and alliances between clans. In fact marriage partners need not even live together (instead remaining with their own respective clans) however there is a requirement that they have offspring in order to bind their relationship and this will require some intimate contact to occur.

Elves take heritage and geneaology very seriously and an individual elf is able to recite her heritage on both lines back a number of generations. One issue with Half-elves is that that human lineage is not recognised and thus half-elves gain their secondary 'incomplete' nature.

 

[Queenie]

There was a really good article on elven relationships in Dragon magazine. It was in the issue that was devoted to elves. I don't know the number at the moment but can get it if you are interested.

I base my elven character around that article. It was very informative.

 

[Hardhead]

I think it ends up being just as diverse as Humans. You can have really any reaction you want based on general outlook on life and personality. I would definatly see them as being much slower to court, though. Probably just longer to do everything.

I find that kind of booring. I'd want something more different. Not so humanlike.

The "Elves" issue of Dragon (don't remember the number) had an article about it. I've lost that one now, but IIRC, it said that elves were more promiscuous than humans, until they found their soul-mate. And they *always* knew who their soul-mate was, which they call a "thiramin." Sometimes the feeling would develop over time, but most of the time they would see the another elf and instantly know that person was for them. The feeling is reciprocated 99% of the time (literally; the article says 99% of the time).

Sometimes, the thirmamin bond evaporates, but that's rare (and there are evil rites known to a few evil elves that can sever the bond). The dissolution of the bond is 99% of the time felt by both as well.

Now *that* makes for interesting courting. What would courting be like if you instantly knew someone you'd never even spoken to was your soul-mate? What if you didn't get along that well at first? You'd certainly have impetuous to work it out. I think it's neat.

EDIT: Reread article and corrected a mistake or two.

 

[RuminDange]

I'd definitely go with either the Dragon Magizine for reference (#279 for those that forgot), as I use it a lot for reference and guiding my players in playing elves. Also you could use the old 2E race handbook -- The Complete Book of Elves, to get from ideas.
Other resources I would recommend would be the Quintessential Elf (some good ideas and such) as well as the Moon Elves PDF. I haven't used the later too much since it got lost on my hard drive for a while and found it while doing backups this week after my system hard crashed, and only recently gotten the Quin.Elf.

RD

 

[Hypersmurf]

I recently brought back an elven character I'd played in an earlier campaign for a campaign set some decades later (same setting, same DM).

I had three pieces of information to work from:

1. When I'd last played the character, he'd just entered into a serious relationship with a childhood sweetheart.
2. The new campaign was set a long time after the first, but,
3. ... since the new campaign was for characters of a similar level to the last, I had to account for why he hadn't gained any experience in all that time.

It all came together nicely... I figured some time not long after the end of the last game, the girl had changed her mind... and the character had spent forty or fifty years moping about it

One of his friends finally had enough of it, and kicked him until he snapped out of it... about the time the new game started.

Man, post-dump blues must suck on an elven timescale...

-Hyp.

 

[yangnome]

What I am looking for is people's opinions on elven relationships. Courting, marriage, love interests outside of marriage, arranged marriages, etc. Please keep this rated PG (not BOEF, its not needed in the game).

The BOEF has a good PG answer to your question, but since you don't want an answer from the BOEF...

 

[I'm A Banana]

Elves IMC are great lovers of beauty, but far to chaotic to settle into monogamy easily. They like to boink, and boink a lot, and boink some pretty weird things, but these unions rarely produce children. Elves are only fertile once a month (both males and females) though, and they can feel it coming a mile away. If they don't want to get it on, they loose themselves in some artistic performance (just as good for 'em). Otherwise, they seek out another elf for the gettin'-it-on-athon. Because of their appreciation of absolute beauty, however, gender is quite flexible...elves are perfectly happy enjoying a beautiful member of their own gender (equal to the opposite, though no kid comes out of it).

Being chaotic, they lack much of an ability to comit at all. Two elves will raise an elven infant, but as soon as the toddler's wandering off, it becomes more of a community effort, or an 'every elf for himself,' and the confines of a family are not defined by a mother-father-offspring relationship, it's two caregivers who may not be biologically related to the child, and may be having dalliances with any number of other partners, but who are nonetheless instinctively bound to assist the infant to some age of competence. Elven comitment otherwise lasts only as long as they are vaguely interested in their mate, and even that isn't a monogamous thing.

I think the 'soul mate' idea is a nice way of allowing a human notion of a stable family to thrive amongst elves, but I see no need for elves to have any desire whatsoever for a stable family. Indeed, stability is boring, and stagnating, and paralyzing...if things don't change, they don't engage an elf's interest, and there's no real reason to keep persuing them. Naturally, elves tend to be impermanent, varied, and changable...I don't think that their love lives need to be any different.

 

[Hypersmurf]

Elves are only fertile once a month (both males and females) though, and they can feel it coming a mile away.

Once every seven years, innit?

-Hyp.