RolandOfGilead
First Post
Ok, my DM assigned me a thought experiment in order to get free training for my most recent level up as a wizard.
I think he was joking, but essentially the question boiled down to "How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood."
Now, as the multi-talented blowhard that I am, I decided to tackle this from a scientific standpoint.
We know that science has decided that life was formed from inert matter because of two factors: Probability and Opportunity. Essentially, anything that is possible, when given enough opportunity, will become an eventuallity. In essence, because life was possible, no matter how remote, give the infinite nature of our expanding universe and the infinite amount of time, life became an eventuallity.
Now, which is more probable I ask you, that life would form from inert matter, or that a woodchuck would eventually learn to chuck wood? Indeed, because it is more probable, it most certainly MUST have happened, or is certain TO happen in the future. Therefore, the question becomes not "If a woodchuck could chuck wood?" but "When did the woodchuck chuck it? how much did he chuck when he did it? What about a woodchuck and a beaver working in tandem? And is the existence of intelligent malevolent woodchucks on mars responsible for its complete lack of foliage?"
Based on these deductions, I ask that you kill all woodchucks where you come across them; Alien terraformers seeking to deforest the earth cannot be allowed to succeed!
I think he was joking, but essentially the question boiled down to "How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood."
Now, as the multi-talented blowhard that I am, I decided to tackle this from a scientific standpoint.
We know that science has decided that life was formed from inert matter because of two factors: Probability and Opportunity. Essentially, anything that is possible, when given enough opportunity, will become an eventuallity. In essence, because life was possible, no matter how remote, give the infinite nature of our expanding universe and the infinite amount of time, life became an eventuallity.
Now, which is more probable I ask you, that life would form from inert matter, or that a woodchuck would eventually learn to chuck wood? Indeed, because it is more probable, it most certainly MUST have happened, or is certain TO happen in the future. Therefore, the question becomes not "If a woodchuck could chuck wood?" but "When did the woodchuck chuck it? how much did he chuck when he did it? What about a woodchuck and a beaver working in tandem? And is the existence of intelligent malevolent woodchucks on mars responsible for its complete lack of foliage?"
Based on these deductions, I ask that you kill all woodchucks where you come across them; Alien terraformers seeking to deforest the earth cannot be allowed to succeed!
