Female gamers: Weal or woe?

[shieldheart]

Black gamers: Weal or woe?
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Having played d&d almost exclusively with an all white group, the concept of a black gamer is somewhat foreign to me. In the dozen or so sessions I've played with black players, I've found that black gamers, by virtue of their race alone, change the gameplay experience dramatically.

Most of the time it's a headache.

Hear me out now, I've got nothing against black players. They're awesome and everything. The problem arises mostly with the white players whenever there's a black present. They almost always act differently. Some guys will hold back from being their normal selves and restrain themselves from cracking potentially offensive jokes where they otherwise wouldn't hesitate. Some guys will go out of their way to try to impress the black, in game or otherwise. I've wanted to pull out my hair during sessions where guys spent the entire 3 hours chatting up the black player, distracting him and everyone else from the session and holding it up.

Has anyone else had similar experiences? How do you deal with it? I want to include a few black friends into my gaming sessions but I don't want the atmosphere of the group to change.

Clever. But I'm not white.

I'm not going to defend the political correctness of questioning the benefits of having a female gamer at the table as I'm sure it really isn't politically correct. I believe there is a distinction between men and women. I don't think there is a difference in the intrinsic worth between a man or a woman but that doesn't make them the same in all aspects either. If that makes you think of me as sexist, that's fine. I know what I am.

Thanks for editing my post and replacing all instances of the word female with black and male with white. It's really clever how you painted me as racist with just a few keyboard strokes.

People are different. I've made no comments about the relative worth of any people. Where I'm from, cultural differences are recognized and celebrated. I don't pretend that everyone is the same. Shame on you for your hackneyed attempt at calling me out.

 

[Ruin Explorer]

If that makes you think of me as sexist, that's fine. I know what I am.

I'm pretty sure we all know what you are

If it's possible to do that to your post, then pretty clearly, there's a problem. If you have to cry "political correctness" at those who disagree with you, then pretty clearly, there's a problem. His calling you out is valid. Claiming it's hackneyed is deeply ironic, because your opinions are extremely hackneyed. Also, I was born and raised in Hackney, so that term is kind of hilarious to me. It should be noted too, that being non-white does not automatically make one a non-racist/sexist.

I should probably start a humour-tagged "Nerdy gamers: weal or woe?" thread. Hmm, gonna try your post with nerds, lets see how it goes. Wait for the edit!

Edit -

Having played d&d almost exclusively with an all normal, socially-well-adjusted group, the concept of a nerdy gamer is somewhat foreign to me. In the dozen or so sessions I've played with nerdy players, I've found that nerdy gamers, by virtue of their nerdiness alone, change the gameplay experience dramatically.

Most of the time it's a headache.

Hear me out now, I've got nothing against nerdy players. They're awesome and everything, they know what page what rule is on, how to optimize your character, and can quote Monty Python with the best fo them. The problem arises mostly with the normal players whenever there's a nerd present. They almost always act differently. Some guys will hold back from being their normal selves and restrain themselves from cracking potentially offensive jokes where they otherwise wouldn't hesitate, particularly ones involving virginity. Some guys will go out of their way to try to impress the nerd, in game or otherwise, with characters straight from the CharOp boards, or stories of their Star Trek marathons. I've wanted to pull out my hair during sessions where guys spent the entire 3 hours discussing Naruto with the nerd, distracting them and everyone else from the session and holding it up.

Has anyone else had similar experiences? How do you deal with it? I want to include a few nerdy friends into my gaming sessions but I don't want the atmosphere of the group to change.

I know, I could do more.

 

[DM_Jeff]

I apparently have a very good bunch of gamers, an equal mix of men and women in both groups, and we all know we're all getting a better game because of it.

We used to have one fellow who'd go through a masssive change to 'get noticed' the moment a woman would sit down to play. But then, he was a jackass.

-DM Jeff

 

[MrApothecary]

I'm not going to defend the political correctness of questioning the benefits of having a female gamer at the table as I'm sure it really isn't politically correct. I believe there is a distinction between men and women. I don't think there is a difference in the intrinsic worth between a man or a woman but that doesn't make them the same in all aspects either. If that makes you think of me as sexist, that's fine. I know what I am.

So why is your original post posed in such a way that you make it sound like it is the fault of female players that your male players have social interaction issues?

 

[Piratecat]

So why is your original post posed in such a way that you make it sound like it is the fault of female players that your male players have social interaction issues?

This is true. I read the original post and thought, "Wait, it's the players' fault here that there's any problem, not the womens'."

Every time I read a post that says "should I let women in my game?" I also mentally replace "women" with "blacks" or "Jews" just to see if it's short-sighted or offensive. I end up with a pretty consistent answer. I know the original poster complained when someone else did this just up-thread, but the point is valid: this is what it's like. You're complaining about women as a generic, faceless group instead of addressing specific behavior that occurs between specific people. You can't do that and not be accused of trying to tar people with the same brush.

 

[Queen_Dopplepopolis]

I've seen more problems arise in game dynamic between women and women than between men and women.

Catty jealousy is a terrible thing... especially when you're an overly dramatic freshman in college. Lordy, those were some crazy days.

Luckily, I've grown up a lot. Now, my husband and I game as a social activity with our friends. Our dynamic is built upon the collective desire to hang out and have some fun.

 

[Eric Tolle]

Honestly, if you're offended, you might want to step back and really look at your post. I could have used humans, or dolphins, or whatnot; the point still stands that the original post is pretty damn ridiculous.

Seriously guy, this isn't the 1960s any more. You can treat individuals like individuals, and judge them on theri own merits, whether they're men, women, black, white, delphinian, or nerds.

It's how I'd like to be treated anyway.

 

[palecur]

The original post evokes two linked pieces of immediate advice:

Imprimis: Stop playing with sweaty, desperate virgins
Secundus: Stop being one yourself

Following those two pieces of advice will be a service, not just to you and your playgroup, but to the hobby and larger society as a whole.

 

[Doug McCrae]

I agree with Ruin Explorer, gaming with nerds is a bad idea. The Monty Python-quoting alone is intolerable. But if it gets to the stage of comparing Babylon 5 to DS:9 then physical violence is the only recourse.


PS Firefly sucks.

 

[shieldheart]

So why is your original post posed in such a way that you make it sound like it is the fault of female players that your male players have social interaction issues?

I'm pretty sure if you took the time to read the post, you'd see that I make a point of blaming the male gamers for a lot of these social interaction issues.

Honestly, if you're offended, you might want to step back and really look at your post. I could have used humans, or dolphins, or whatnot; the point still stands that the original post is pretty damn ridiculous.

Seriously guy, this isn't the 1960s any more. You can treat individuals like individuals, and judge them on theri own merits, whether they're men, women, black, white, delphinian, or nerds.

It's how I'd like to be treated anyway.

I don't recall judging anyone on any merits. If you want to say that there are no complications when a poker-esque group of guys have a girl thrown into the mix, that's fine. Calling me racist for contemplating the possibility is low and uninspired.

Don't throw your generic philosophy at me like I don't get it. I treat people the way they deserve to be treated. Just cause you're spouting anti-racist whistleblowing garbage at me doesn't mean I condone racism. That's just dumb.

The original post evokes two linked pieces of immediate advice:

Imprimis: Stop playing with sweaty, desperate virgins
Secundus: Stop being one yourself

Following those two pieces of advice will be a service, not just to you and your playgroup, but to the hobby and larger society as a whole.

Look at post #68. You're not clever, original or funny.