Female gamers: Weal or woe?

[shieldheart]

Well there's an argument for them to get over it, soonest. Aren't you the guy who wears the Viking hat? instead of coddling them, you need to slap them a few times, slam them into their seats and roar "YOU WILL PLAY WITH WHOEVER I TELL YOU TO PLAY WITH!"

Do it! It's good for them.

If they're emotionally over the age of 17, then no, there shouldn't be any problems. Just slap 'em a round a few times, and start the game. I'd have about as much patience with people like that as I would with, well, you.


No, I didn't call you a racist. You're the one standing up waving your arms and screaming "I AM NOT A RACIST! I AM NOT A RACIST!" I mean, this is sad: it's a perfect example of why both satire and metaphor are dead concepts.

Are you one of those DMs who think his opinion matters more than those of his players? I'm not going to 'slap' my players around and tell them what to do or who to play with like I know better than them what makes a good gaming experience.

If you want to invite girls to your poker night, go for it. I never said no one should, I was just wondering how they've fared. I know plenty of guys who would prefer a guy's night in and gripe, if only jokingly, when other guy brings in his girlfriend. You might want to copy that last line and replace "girlfriend" with "black friend". It might pass for what you consider satire/metaphor.

You say that you never called me racist, but you brought the issue of race into this thread. Enlighten me, what message were you trying to get across?

 

[Imp]

So every time I see this thread pop up again I want to start a new one entitled "Male gamers: Weal or woe?" and honestly by now I really just want the voices to stop.

 

[The Grumpy Celt]

Well, the last time I role played with a female, becuase of the limits on Paladin's wearing magical helmits, I was the black guy and she was a school girl.

Heh.

I like playing in multi-ethnic, multi-gender groups. They are simply more interesting than playing with nothing but a room full of dumpy white guys.

But then I like the company of women in general.

 

[shieldheart]

But then I like the company of women in general.

Careful, some of the guys in here might construe that as sexist.

 

[w_earle_wheeler]

I ran a short campaign for a group of college girls. It wasn't really any different from other gaming groups, except for the one night when they were crocheting while role-playing.

Also, none of my male players have ever shown me their nipple piercings.

I had to put a stop to that. The crocheting, not the other thing.

 

[Korgoth]

Yep, this thread has succeeded to bring in those people who think of themselves as knowledgeable, insightful or enlightened who are really just bullies. Seriously, some really judgmental posts. Duly noted, there were some constructive posts, for which I am grateful, but most people have deviated from the heart of the question at hand.

I guess the answer to my question is that having a girl at your table will give you a sense of superiority over gamers who don't. I think I'm going to go ahead and keep it an all guys thing. Thanks for the input everyone.

Dude. If the question is put thus: "Korgoth, you are able to handle the presence of human females with maturity and proper social graces; does this make you feel superior to those who cannot?" then I guess my answer is yes. I mean, it actually is better to be able to be functional when around human females. If a human male is unable to comport himself when merely in the presence of human females, I submit that this state of affairs is uncontroversially suboptimal. Sorry, that's just the way it is.

Repeat after me: "The Tex Avery Wolf is not a role model."

 

[Gailbraithe]

Actually, imho, and no personal insult to you...

See, now this is where I find this kind of debate just gets really contentious. You're really being very insulting and judgmental, and it's hard not to take offense at that. I was being a bit self-deprecating with the "hyper-competitive jackasses" comment, and I guess that was too subtle. You took it way too seriously, and in the process you've said some pretty outrageous things. At any rate, I find your comments really uncalled for and presumptive. Try to keep it civil.

My question to the above poster would be: If you can't flirt with and pursue someone you find attractive and share common interests with in a pleasant social setting without violating social decorum, then when exactly can you do it? Is everyone supposed to meet through personal ads and singles bars?

It just seems pretty ridiculous to me.

 

[The Grumpy Celt]

Repeat after me: "The Tex Avery Wolf is not a role model."

When did that happen?

(Grumpy clears his throat)

Having played D&D almost exclusively with an all solitary group, the concept of other gamers is somewhat foreign to me. In the dozen or so sessions I've played with other people, I've found that other people, by virtue of their breathing alone, change the game play experience dramatically.

Most of the time it's a headache.

Hear me out now, I've got nothing against other people. They're awesome and everything, they know how to physically open a book a search for the information they need, learn the system quickly, and can tell jokes with the best of them. The problem arises mostly with the other people whenever there's another living person present. They almost always act differently. Some living gamers will hold back from being their normal selves and restrain themselves from producing potentially offensive sounds and smells where they otherwise wouldn't hesitate if they were totally alone. Some people will go out of their way to try to relate to the other person, in game or otherwise, through their knowledge of contemporary events, or with stories of their work or family life. I've wanted to pull out my hair during sessions where people spent the entire 3 hours discussing sports with the other person, distracting them and everyone else from the session and holding it up.

Has anyone else had similar experiences? How do you deal with it? I want to include a few other people into my gaming sessions but I don't want the atmosphere of the group to change.

 

[DrunkonDuty]

Shieldheart: EricTolle wasn't accusing you of racism. He was drawing an analogy. By replacing the word 'woman' with 'black' he was hoping to point out a new way for you to see your initial post. I leave it to you to try and work out what that is. For my part: I don't read your OP as sexist. Badly phrased but not sexist.

I do think it's sad that you wont invite your female friends to join your game because of what you have read on this thread, whether personal attacks or not. Your friends suffer because some total strangers have misconstrued your initial post. Ignore those misconstrued replies. There has been some very good advice posted above, take that on instead.

I'm about to have a woman join my (all male) group and I'm looking forward to it: I just prefer mixed social groups. (The other female gamers I know don't like my GM style, not enough hack'n'slash. Chicks and violence, hey?)

Amy Kou’ai wrote:
Men and women aren't that different, in my opinion. That said, I think the expected roles of men and women in normal society construe each gender as a fundamentally different species.

But in all seriousness -- come on, we play D&D. We're hardly in normal society.

LOL. But I agree wholeheartedly about the gender roles society expects of us. Too sad. I say we should all be metrosexuals.

MrApothecary wrote:
I've never had gender problems with my gaming group. Of the people I know who play D&D, half are female. And maybe this is just the fact that me and my gaming group are all teenagers, and many among my generation have a tendency to ignore your silly gender roles, but the girls are just as likely to be powergamers, or good roleplayers, or spouters of dirty jokes. And most of my group is quite capable of roleplaying the opposite gender realistically. We all have vivid imaginations and can see past our geeky or emo faces and see the character.

the bold highlighting is mine.

Glad to see hope for the next generation. (Although I don't like the oldster bashing, you young whipper-snapper. )

cheers all.

 

[Ruin Explorer]

See, now this is where I find this kind of debate just gets really contentious. You're really being very insulting and judgmental, and it's hard not to take offense at that. I was being a bit self-deprecating with the "hyper-competitive jackasses" comment, and I guess that was too subtle. You took it way too seriously, and in the process you've said some pretty outrageous things. At any rate, I find your comments really uncalled for and presumptive. Try to keep it civil.

My question to the above poster would be: If you can't flirt with and pursue someone you find attractive and share common interests with in a pleasant social setting without violating social decorum, then when exactly can you do it? Is everyone supposed to meet through personal ads and singles bars?

It just seems pretty ridiculous to me.

You know what seems ridiculous to me? People painting a very distinct picture of themselves on the internet, then getting upset when people believe them and take them at their word! I mean dude, don't say if it you don't mean it on the internet. Sarcasm is nigh-impenetrable, and what you may think is an "extreme and ridiculous" picture of yourself may be utterly believeable to others. I've heard people say a thousand times worse and and mean it.

If you can't portray yourself or others accurately, how can you expect to have a meaningful debate? Subtle, you weren't. You were crystal clear. You just didn't mean what you said.

You appear now to have completely revised and even reversed your position, suggesting subtle, polite and well-mannered flirting instead of being a living embodiment of the Big Bad Wolf a la Tex Avery.