Forked Thread: Viking Hat vs Social Relationship

[Gailbraithe]

Forked from: Female gamers: Weal or woe?

Well there's an argument for them to get over it, soonest. Aren't you the guy who wears the Viking hat? instead of coddling them, you need to slap them a few times, slam them into their seats and roar "YOU WILL PLAY WITH WHOEVER I TELL YOU TO PLAY WITH!"

Do it! It's good for them.

Does anyone actually think that the game master has the right, or for that matter the ability, to treat players this way? Why do people always act like this is a reasonable or sensible suggestion?

In my current group, we have one vaguely racist and sexist player who frequently makes comments that I find offensive. He also cheats, power-games, and is a spoil-sport. But he has a convenient play space, a huge minis collection, and all the books. He also serves as the alternate DM, and my players like his game. So they won't let me kick him out.

And because of him, I'm hesitant to invite anyone who isn't a straight white male to the game, because that would offend his delicate Republican sensibilities. My players, who are far more liberal than me (I'm more libertarian), are so non-confrontational that they won't ever back me up when he makes his obnoxious comments. They're just like "Do something about it, but don't kick him out because we want to keep playing at his place." They're also some of my best friends who I've known for years, and the whole situation drives me up the wall.

I would love to be able to just scream like a baby and tell them to give me my way or get the hell out, but I don't see how that leads to any result other than me sitting at home playing solo dungeons and wishing that other people could be as perfect and morally superior as myself.

 

[Fifth Element]

Certainly not. I don't think the poster you quoted was serious, either. It's a great way to get your players to leave your game.

 

[The Grumpy Celt]

Does anyone actually think that the game master has the right, or for that matter the ability, to treat players this way?

Assuming the GM has the ability to speak, then they automatically have the ability to treat players poorly. That is not to say it is a good idea, just that they are capable of behaving in this manner.

GM are people and all to many people are j-ck-ss-s. Not all, but enough to leave a bad taste in your mouth.

 

[Kzach]

I love PNP RP gaming. I love meeting new people and making new friends. I love sitting around, having a laugh, eating pizza, etc. It's all great.

But if I was in your situation, I'd rather not play at all. That to me is just not fun. Quite frankly, if you up and quit, chances are the others would come around. And if not, are they really people you want to call friends? I mean, sounds like they're basically putting you in a bad position for their own benefit, ie. minis and a nice play space.

 

[DrunkonDuty]

I'm with Kzach: If it was me I wouldn't play with the guy. If that means leaving the group then leave the group. I'd suggest another regular session without the dumb-arse on alternate weekends or something. But I'd make it clear that the reason I'm leaving is the dumb-arse and that I never want anything to do with him again.

 

[AtomicPope]

"Do something about it, but don't kick him out because we want to keep playing at his place."

It's the last part that gets me. This guy does these things because he's comfortable doing them. It's the classic bully. In his house he's El Chingón! So long as you're playing in his house, you'll have to put up with his garbage. Either find a new place to play or continue to put up with it. I don't think there's much you can do to change him.

 

[StreamOfTheSky]

I'm with Kzach: If it was me I wouldn't play with the guy. If that means leaving the group then leave the group. I'd suggest another regular session without the dumb-arse on alternate weekends or something. But I'd make it clear that the reason I'm leaving is the dumb-arse and that I never want anything to do with him again.

Take this advice from someone who's quit groups for good reasons and then found himself with no one to play with for half a year or more: Treat it like a bad job. You hate the job, you definitely want to leave. But at least it's work. Certainly look for a new group, but don't actually declare you're quitting till you have somewhere else to go. And do your best to make sure they don't know where it is.

 

[joeandsteve]

In my current group, we have one vaguely racist and sexist player who frequently makes comments that I find offensive...

...And because of him, I'm hesitant to invite anyone who isn't a straight white male to the game, because that would offend his delicate Republican sensibilities.

I understand that you have problems with this player, but please leave the politics aside. I don't consider racism or sexism 'Republican sensibilities.' I'd hate to to derail this thread arguing American politics.

 

[DrunkonDuty]

Streamofthesky: I see your point. In this situation there is every chance I would wind up gameless, and possibly for a long time. I'd still do it. After all I don't need gaming to pay my rent.

 

[ProfessorCirno]

Naw, I don't say "leave the group." Completely unfulfilling.

Go against your players. Give him the verbal smackdown and tell him exactly what your problems are. Then leave. Bonus points: the other players will all feel INTENSELY uncomfortable about wanting to leave yet not doing so.