Funniest DM/player faux pas

[donremus]

Anyone got any funny dm/player blunders?

I once had a DM who was trying to describe an image:

DM: 'The mural depicts an image like a pirate flag without the crossbones'

Players in unison: 'So it's a SKULL!!!!'

You probably had to be there but it disrupted our game for a good while

 

[Hypersmurf]

Anyone got any funny dm/player blunders?

That one reminds me of a DM trying to describe a corridor for the party mapper.

"It comes to... like, an L-intersection."
"... uh... you mean a corner?"

-Hyp.

 

[Kwitchit]

In an L5R game, GM (as peasant child) asking the Unicorn clan player (samurai cavalry):
"Is it true that the Unicorn all sleep with their horses?"

 

[Deadguy]

I once described a unique monster by starting with

"Imagine a wasp..."

I then went on to describe the ways it was different than a wasp (size, colour, horny growths, standing on 4 legs, etc. ) I went on for about a minute, until one player piped up:

"So not a wasp then?"

Really I could've saved time by describing what it was rather than starting with what it wasn't. Any time I give a bad description even my current players have heard of and say "imagine a wasp"!

 

[Inconsequenti-AL]

Years ago, when he was about 15 or so, one of my friends GM'd a module - didn't play in it, but the story lives on.

The PCs were busy bimbling round a village working out what to do. To illustrate a location, he put the module map on the table and pointed something out. Unfortunately, the players caught sight of the name written at the top of the thing: "Night of the Vampire".

Cue PCs making stakes, holing up in the church and trying to make DIY holy water.

 

[The Thayan Menace]

Disguise Check: Automatic Failure

We had a player tell us that her Elan character looked like a "human-like creature".

-Samir

 

[merelycompetent]

Unfortunately, mea culpa:

Me: "As the last cultist falls, his bloody corpse lands across the altar. A dark mist rises from the blood-soaked stone, coalescing into a hideously malformed gray frog-like creature. The Death Salad roars and attacks."

Player: "With what? Sliced tomatoes?"

Game stopped for over an hour. So much for the climactic encounter with the death slaad. :/

 

[hafrogman]

Jeff was our DM, and Valerie was playing an dumb-as-rocks style barbarian who had recently aquired an intelligent sword, Ironbrand. The sword was definately the brains of the operation, and Jeff thought it would be great it required it's user to shout its name as they wielded it.

V: I draw my new sword and charge into battle
J: SAY MY NAME!
V: J. . jeff?

 

[madriel]

In my friend's off and on again Freeport game, the party was sent to an island to dig up a plant for a local wizard. We found it and were just starting to dig it up when invisible spiders dropped from the trees overhead. We battled them for several rounds, growing frustrated as they kept retreating into the trees nearby. My druid and her wolf were down, half the party was poisoned, and we were grumbling about the DM throwing poison at second level PCs. Halfway through the fifth round a spider leaped back into its tree after dropping the barbarian and the wizard's player suddenly said "What trees?"

Everyone else: "Huh?"

Wizard: "What trees? The guy said the plant killed off any vegetation within a mile. There shouldn't be any trees nearby. They couldn't have ambushed us."

We've been teasing the DM about the invisible spiders dropping from invisible trees ever since.





A few months later the same group of PCs were investigating some ruins and he began a room description by saying "as you enter the room you see the stench of decay..."

 

[adwyn]

DM: It tastes horrible like, um, ... like somebody mixed dirt and water together!
Player: You mean like mud?