Funniest thing a players character ever did?

[WalrusThief]

One of my players, a level 3 sorcerer, was cornered by a level 10 evil cleric. The cleric was wielding a +2 unholy longsword and the sorcerer was wielding a crossbow bolt. The cleric, laughing at his stupidity, attempted to disarm him. I facepalmed when he failed. I facepalmed even harder when the sorcerer got a free disarm attempt and rolled a natural 20 with his bolt. I nearly died laughing when the cleric rolled a natural 1.

One of my players found an old 2nd ed item called the Slippers of Drinking. When touched, they force you to pour any one potion or vial of liquid you are carrying into a slipper and drink it. The only vials the character was carrying were Alchemist's Fire.

A rogue in my party got caught in the steel box trap in the Tomb of Horrors (the one with the 3 levers), managed to disable the only escape route, and sprung the trap portion. She fell 100 feet, managing to survive it with Feather Fall, only to get eaten alive by the Tomb Motes at the bottom.

A monk was fighting a gang of halflings and (as I was using a crit chart instead of extra damage) they managed to disable every one of his limbs before coup de gracing him as his party members laughed hysterically.

 

[anest1s]

One of my players, a level 3 sorcerer, was cornered by a level 10 evil cleric. The cleric was wielding a +2 unholy longsword and the sorcerer was wielding a crossbow bolt. The cleric, laughing at his stupidity, attempted to disarm him. I facepalmed when he failed. I facepalmed even harder when the sorcerer got a free disarm attempt and rolled a natural 20 with his bolt. I nearly died laughing when the cleric rolled a natural 1.

One of my players found an old 2nd ed item called the Slippers of Drinking. When touched, they force you to pour any one potion or vial of liquid you are carrying into a slipper and drink it. The only vials the character was carrying were Alchemist's Fire.

A rogue in my party got caught in the steel box trap in the Tomb of Horrors (the one with the 3 levers), managed to disable the only escape route, and sprung the trap portion. She fell 100 feet, managing to survive it with Feather Fall, only to get eaten alive by the Tomb Motes at the bottom.

A monk was fighting a gang of halflings and (as I was using a crit chart instead of extra damage) they managed to disable every one of his limbs before coup de gracing him as his party members laughed hysterically.

Hmm I mean no offense, but these aren't things your PCs did, they are things that happened to them...and not funny I think

 

[roushguy]

Was playing a dragonkin with a whopping 34 STR at 1st level, was captured by a gang of goblins intending to sell me into slavery in an illithid mine. They used a series of ropes and pulleys to put a 2000 pound rock on top of wooden posts to form a cage. I checked my STR load, picked UP the rock, and smashed the goblin ringleaders, then used my move action as a DM-approved free intimidate check. (something like a 25, I think) The ENTIRE goblin army ran for the hills, including the illithid dealer who'd come for me. His ogre magi bodyguard stuck around... until I picked up the slab and smashed HIM, lol.

 

[LordMonty]

Was playing a dragonkin with a whopping 34 STR at 1st level, was captured by a gang of goblins intending to sell me into slavery in an illithid mine. They used a series of ropes and pulleys to put a 2000 pound rock on top of wooden posts to form a cage. I checked my STR load, picked UP the rock, and smashed the goblin ringleaders, then used my move action as a DM-approved free intimidate check. (something like a 25, I think) The ENTIRE goblin army ran for the hills, including the illithid dealer who'd come for me. His ogre magi bodyguard stuck around... until I picked up the slab and smashed HIM, lol.

Um like anest1s said above this falls into some other catorgary this being pwnage or something, as thats not really all that funny. And Strength 34? at first level? (+what racial mod) and against mostly goblins?

 

[Summer-Knight925]

Our party was attacked by 2 fire giants and 2 eldritch giants(one riding a triceratops one riding a mastodon....yes our DM hates us) and (using the Paizo crit hit deck) blinded one fire giant permanently and one eldritch giant until healed. The our warmage crit'ed with a spell.....ever shoot an eldritch giant to the elemental plane of fire with a lesser orb of fire spell? needless to say our DM hates us even more, which isnt good, we are getting ready to run "Crypt of the devil lich" tournament style...we are all going to die (and then some!)

 

[roushguy]

No, no... the funny is that the goblins decided to put the gigantic, dragon-looking creature under a rock... not the char itself. He was a dragonkin, I forget the +str bonus... but yes... 34 str. Another funny moment. My elven bard saw a lone skeleton crossing the field (we were under siege) and I decided to take it on solo. I ran up, stabbed it for, like 4 damage, and then the tentacle inside it bitchsmacked me across the field and killed me. Turns out it was a mohrg. Oops.

 

[tgstk7]

I have a couple, mostly one-liners that had everybody laughing hard enough to stop the game for a few minutes.

First one, DM's girlfriend, in-character to a cleric of pelor:
"Just because your flaming-ball-of-god..." We never heard what the rest of that was going to be. I don't remember exactly what came before in the conversation either. Some conflict between wanting to do good and neutral character wanting to not die.

Same campaign, downtime, most of the party has something to do. Me (the other cleric, venerating ideals, not a god) and the rogue decide to head to the brothels. Afterwards we're discussing this (nothing graphic) in character. He tells me his had a french maids outfit. My character's response: "Wish I'd thought of that. Mine was just naked." Don't know why exactly but no one could stop laughing at that one.

Funny thing happened in a game of the old version of Star Wars. Short version, we all got drunk and were staying in a rented room (hotel). Someone was unable to find the bathroom in their inebriated state and used one of the empty liquor bottles. The next day someone else found this, was disgusted and poured it out the window without first checking to make sure it was clear. It wasn't. There was a Stormtrooper patrol going by. "Yellow stormtroopers." (snicker snicker) Anyway, they arrested the wrong person. A PC that belonged to a player no longer in the game. No one spoke up, but we did witness his flogging.

 

[Ogrehatescomputers]

Due to how brutal my very first DM was (and is) I learned from power gamers. If your character was not "broken" he did not survive. So my first year of ever playing. All I knew was the Brutal world of his powergame. Great Dm. Great story. But your character had to be pretty tuff to live. And we always used and 32 point buy system rather than rolling up a character.

I say that to say this. The very first time I ever played with anyone else (who was no a power gamer and used very moderate and "normal" villains) I did not know. I had no idea at the time that I was always powergaming. So our DM, she goes, Roll for stats. I was shocked and expected it to be a very harsh game if we had to roll. I rolled beyond well. nothing below a 14. So I made a wizard. with an 18 con and 18 int. and 14 15 16 17 in everything else. great roles. We were 10th level. It was a massacre. everybattle we went into I slaughtered everything. She had allowed me to spell comp. magic item comp. and so on and so forth. I bought every hidious and over powerd thing I could find. I spent all but a few measly coppers of my gold. I had so many extra spells and wands and staffs etc... I killed every "boss" she made. I slaughtered every fiend or foe in our path. And was very quickly asked to build a less powerful wizard.

I went from gaming with a group where if you built a ranger. You stoped being one at fouth lvl and took fighter. then you took Order of the bow init. To palying with people who thought that monks were broken and were not allowed in the game. I felt really bad about it for a long time. But now I just laugh. Here she was expecting the stereo typed older frail wizard and instead mine had a 14 st 18 con. walked around like a beast and could use martial weapons. So sorry. lol

 

[Dandu]

I went from gaming with a group where if you built a ranger. You stoped being one at fouth lvl and took fighter. then you took Order of the bow init.

What was the 3.0 version like? The 3.5 version was pretty crappy iirc.

 

[Jeffrie]

My son is nine years old and we play 3.5 together. We usually play with older teenagers and young twentysomethings.

He often does things like; when his halforc fighter fell in the river, and while underwater decided to spear a fish with his sword.

It's always a riot to play with him.