Funniest Thing That PCS Have Done/Said

[Stalker0]

A shady sellsman comes over and puts his arm on the party's dwarf as he says, "You look like a man whose interested in a deal."

To which the dwarf replied, "Aye, and you look like man who likes to be touchin other men."

The man quickly departed

 

[Lalalei2001]

"All right, we're in an unexplored dungeon in total darkness with no light sources or infravision... Hey, I know!! Let's yell and scream a lot so we can locate each other by sound!!"

 

[Exquisite Dead Guy]

When discussing whether or not the party could load all their loot onto a Tenser's Floating Disk the mage's player says: "I've got plenty of disk space."

 

[sniffles]

GM in a RuneQuest game was describing the action of an attacking Bison Rider NPC. He stated that the bison did a rear-and-plunge maneuver.

Unfortunately all of the players misheard him. We thought he said the bison did a rear-end plunge.

 

[amazingshafeman]

GM in a RuneQuest game was describing the action of an attacking Bison Rider NPC. He stated that the bison did a rear-and-plunge maneuver.

Unfortunately all of the players misheard him. We thought he said the bison did a rear-end plunge.

Sadly, that's how I read it the first time, too....

 

[Sandain]

We had just started a game, and one of the players was describing his character;

Him: Bob is a second eldest son of a great and powerful noble family, well known throughout the land.

Us: Whats is Bobs last name?

Him: *serious voice* His family name has been lost in the mists of time...


This was the player wh could always find an extra +1 to hit from somewhere. To the point where we called it the Pierre +1. +1 for being an Elf, +1 for higher ground, +1 for weapon Spec, +1 for the magic sword, +1 for bless, +1 for strength, + 1 for being an Elf, +1 for spec, +1 for higher ground.. I HIT!

To this day - 15 years later and people in the extended DnD circle where we game refer to the Pierre +1, even though they never met him.

 

[DungeonmasterCal]

In a somewhat questionable effort to ease the pain of a lizard man captive being rather roughly questioned by the party members, the party cleric sneaked into the cell to give him something to ease the pain. Not having any ranks in any skill that would aid, I rolled his dice to see if he could successfully concoct the draught. He failed, and the lizard man died a frothing, twitching death. Ever since then, that player has been branded as the "Sinister Minister" and the "Deacon of Decon".

In a recent game of Torg, my son was playing a Nippontech Ninja. After giving the absolutely and astonishingly convoluted description of his upcoming action, one of the other players looks at him and says, "So exactly what school of ninjary did you say you were from?"

It was funny to us, at least.

 

[Olaf the Stout]

Here are some quotes from my campaign so far. A lot of them are you had to be there moments but I'll post them anyway:

Player 1: "What does Elminster wear at home?"
Player 2: "I'm thinking fishnets and a French maid's outfit."

"Well I can't really find fault with that." - Player 3, after hearing Player 2's explanation as to why he attacked Player 4 with a battle-axe

Player 3 talks to Player 4 (in character) about how Player 2 actually came to attack him.
Player 3: "How did you try and calm him down?"
Player 4: "I told him everything was ok. He could have the rat. The rat was good."

"Old Chinese proverb: Do not annoy people offering rats." - Player 1 (in reference to the previous incident)

GM (me): "So you're carrying a tied and gagged small child, an unconscious acolyte and a rat in a jar."
Player 2: "Yes."

Player 3: "What's up with the guards?"
Player 5: "I don't know but they appear to be guarding something."


The Gibbering Mouther's acid spittle barely misses Player 3.

Player 3: "That wasn't too bad"
GM (me): "That wasn't its attack"
Player 3: "Oh"

Player 3 then proceeds to gets hit by 4 mouths and is nearly grappled by the
Gibbering Mouther.

"We need to finish one of these quests. We've got a quest backlog." - Player 1

"Don't worry about me, grab the treasure. I've still got 10 rounds before I drown." - Player 6, shortly before his character nearly drowned to death after failing every single one of his swim checks.

"We're sorry for your loss. Now the small matter of our reward." - Player 4 after telling an NPC that the party had recovered 3 missing Waste Walker's Guild members, but that they were all dead.

Olaf the Stout

 

[Nelly]

This happened last weekend.

We were playing Shadowrun and the PC'S diskussed Ninjas vs Pirates.
My guys always crack me up with conversations like that.
Marcus asked: "Who is stronger, huh?"

Menno said: "Ninja-Pirates"

Marcus: "Ninja-Pirates?!"

Menno:"Ja Mann, Ninja Pirates, they are stronger than Ninja and Pirates because they are NINJA-PIRATES!"

Marcus: "Capri Sonne?"

Menno & Marcus: "SOOOOOY FOOOOOD! "

 

[A'koss]

Player: I grab torch and boldly step inside.

- Tomb of Horrors victim #1.


Player: No way! It's gotta be an illusion.

- Various modules... same unfortunate result.


Player: (after the requisite amount of soul-searching) I... I pick a card!

- Deck of Many things... and players who never learn.


Player: I attack!

- Newbie error #1 when playing IMGs.