Funny stuff said at the gaming table

[LazerPointer]

when buying a flask of brandy in the morning:
Inkeep: that'll be ten gold.
fighter: I'll give you eight....and PAY for my breakfast!

 

[Sheltem]

"What? Clerics get skill points?" Said by a cleric, when asked to do a Knowledge (Religion) check.

 

[Valgard]

After the halfling rogue set off a gas trap whilst searching a room the party wizard was heard to say, "Halflings are just like goldfish!" She meant to say canary, but now whenever the rogue sets off a trap the rest of the party chime in with "Just like a goldfish."

 

[Ashrum the Black]

"Sir, he's unarmed. Completely, unarmed." S

Said by a female NPC soldier checking the obnoxious male PC fighter as she is on her knees checking his boots for weapons. The entire party lost it and that quote has come back to haunt the fighter more than a few times.

-Ashrum

 

[JoeBlank]

"Yahtzee!"

Exclaimed by a fellow player when I rolled 5 ones out of 6d6 damage for my sorcerer's fireball.

 

[WayneLigon]

"If anything comes out of this sewer, blow the crap out of it." Pause. "Unless it's carrying me in it's mouth."

 

[MonkeyDragon]

In the first campaign I ever ran, before things went horribly wrong. (The first session.)

The PCs need to buy fodder for their horses for a long boat ride. This is as best as I can remember the exchange.

Shopkeep: That much feed for that many animals will come to five gold.
PC: That's too much. How bout you give it to us for free?
SK: Free! That's rediculous. My price is five.
PC: Free.
SK: Five.
PC: Free.
SK: Five.
PC: Free and we don't burn your shop down.
SK: Done.

 

[kolvar]

Years ago a group I mastered aquired a castle but wanted to leave it for a few days withoug leaving someone behind. The gnome-rogue, not completly healed locked the door from within and wanted to climb the wall to get out. he botched his first roll and fell down, dying from the impact. The first reaction of one of the other players was to look at his character sheet and mentioning: "Well, probably my ring of featherfalling would have helped there."
Probably not very funny when you weren't there (or if you were the player of the gnome).

 

[Red Viper]

dm: "you run into a fork in the hallway."
Player:"Does it poke us?"


Player 1:"If you do I will plant my sword in your head!"
Player 2:"Will it grow?"