Game Bloopers and Quotes

[BrooklynKnight]

Hows about sharing all those funny moments from recent, and old memorable games where the player said one thing, and ment another (or at least ment, to mean/say another).

How bout some really bad mistakes?

Anything to make me laugh.

 

[ph34r]

In a game I was playing in a fellow player was haggling with a merchant.

PC: I'll give ya 125 for it.
DM: How about 135?
PC: 128.
DM: 130.
PC: 131!
DM: SOLD!
*Players pointing and laughing*

Another one by the same player happened in a different game. He layed the smack down on a NPC and yelled "Who's your b**** daddy!?!?" *Players pointing and laughing again*

 

[Drayan]

You forgot to mention it was for a 3 legged horse.

 

[cdsaint]

A halfling rogue a few sessions ago was spying on an enemy encampment. He spotted a goblin, also spying on said encampment. His player looks at me and says "In goblin I say shh!" (laying finger over lips).

Chris

 

[Pants]

Most the wacky things have been spouted by me. Here are a few:

1. Describing a room where braziers on the walls lit the room. I pronounced it... the wrong way and the players made fun of me by asking why there were burning bras in the room. :\
2. Players are sneaking up on a guard that is posted outside of a manor. Said players need to get inside the manor. It is dark out and the one player who was moving forward to subdue the guard rolled rather poorly on his move silent check. I described it as him scraping his boot on the cobblestones.
The guard, hearing this, yelled out into the darkness, "Who's there?" In an act of quick thinking, the player meowed like a cat and made a pretty good Bluff check. The guard proceeded to fail his Sense Motive followed by an Intelligence check, which he rolled a 1 on.
The guard then proceeded to say 'Damn cats,' before going back to his leisurely guarding.

I have yet to hear the end of this one...

 

[rushlight]

In a mode similar to Ph34r's...

My players were in a town, haggling for some much needed supplies. They had impressed upon the shopkeep how poor they were, and had made some successful rolls to convince him to significantly lower his prices by half (in the name of all that is Good!) on goods worth about 4000gp.

Then, a player (who wanted to keep his coin and ditch a gem) chimed in, "Hey, will he take this 5000gp ruby and give us change?"

To the groans of the rest of the party, the shopkeep immediately returned his prices to their original value. That player has since been forbidden to ever bargin for anything by the rest of the group...

 

[Etan Moonstar]

My wife was playing her first neutral character (a bard--she usually plays paladins or clerics) in a recent campaign. Several farmers in town had recently lost cows to an owlbear. The party bought some cows and set a trap for the owlbear, managing to slay it after a tough battle in which the cleric went down bleeding. With the owlbear dead, the party didn't really have much need for the cows, and glancing over, I could see my wife silently thinking to herself about giving the party's cows to the farmers who had lost their cows (she wasn't saying a word, I can just read her pretty well). As the rest of the players are still excitedly talking back and forth about the owlbear fight, I see a look of disappointed realization cross her face as she interrupts the ongoing conversation by loudly blurting out:

"Oh crap, I'm not good!"

All the rest of the players immediately go silent and just stare at her, trying to puzzle out exactly what possessed my wife to say that. It has since become one of my group's favorite quoted lines, repeated at least once per session.

 

[JoAT]

"Stop femaleing up your female."

"That boy has girl's problems."

 

[the Jester]

The party was trying to get to a business called the Multversal Trading Co. in a city called Walpyvmyr... using a wish. (This was in the days of 2e.)

So the pc wishes to be transported to "Mutipyvmyr..."

 

[pdkoning]

I was visiting a store in a big city, looking for some magical armor. After asking the shopkeeper there turned out to be magical armor. (studded leather +1). I asked: how much? The NPC shopkeeper said 35 GP, I agreed instantly. - after a few seconds the DM knew there was something wrong, because of the big smile on my face, but the deal was already there.

This happens often, the DM really does not know the prices. but it often happens to me, and now my character has 2 or 3 times more valuables than the other players.

We once entered a maze (standing stone module, for those who know it) But there was no roof. Our Wizard had the ability to fly around and drop fireballs or other nasty spells on every creature in the maze, while we waited outside.
Then He used mage hand to have a inkpot stand beside him in the air, and he drew us a map of the maze. This ruined the gameplay, but it was really fun to see the face of the DM.