Gamers: Do the non-gamers in your life understand you? (rant)

[The Cardinal]

I've *never* had a problem like this...
Why?
Well, probably because I would never even consider a relationship with a non-gamer woman! I always keep a high ratio of female gamers at my table - this requires regular recruiting of newbies, and a merciless selection process, but it's definitely worth the effort.

 

[Wolfspirit]

First off, eh, LotR risk isn't all that great. If you're looking to play Risk in a Middle Earth Setting, don't get it. If you're looking to play some combination of Risk, LotR, and Magic: The Gathering, go for it. It wasn't very fun trying to plan tactics when your opponent can use a card to do the equivalent of moving an army from South America to Australia.

If you'd let me known earlier though I probably could have found a copy in Austin. There's a store in Dobie Mall that normally keeps stuff like that in stock.

Second off, I honestly don't think that I could have a relationship with someone that doesn't understand or accept my hobbies. Of course I think I'm up front enough with the fact that I'm weird so it couldn't come as a shock to anyone. Of course, I've never had a girlfriend, so I haven't really had to test this

On the other hand, in response to finding out I play D&D I've had people at where I worked go "Dude, have you ever thought about what a girl would do if you finaly got her to your room and she sees a big bookshelf full of D&D books?", but I really don't have to care about their opinions

 

[Ashtal]

On the other hand, in response to finding out I play D&D I've had people at where I worked go "Dude, have you ever thought about what a girl would do if you finaly got her to your room and she sees a big bookshelf full of D&D books?", but I really don't have to care about their opinions

Hopefully the girl will either accept it, or better yet, go, "COOOOOOOOOL."

 

[Malessa]

I don't know if what I'm about to say will help or not, but I'll try anyway.

I had heard of D&D growing up from a few friends. My first impression was "what a rediculous game", "its all imagination and dice????" Sounded pretty corney to me.

Then I met my hubby, and it wasn't till after we were married that I found out, he grew up with this game. (I have to admit, I laughed myself silly about this.) He was intrested in starting it back up and wanted me to become a part of it. I had no desires at this time. But if it was something that he wanted to do, fine, I'd just keep a tally and and remind him of things later that I WANTED TO DO.

He wouldn't give up that easily, since he knew I was intrested in Nintendo, playstation games and the like. He introduced me to the computer game 'Ultima Online', I was hooked. Then Diablo, Balders Gate....you see where this is going right?

We had just moved to a new town, and he was looking for D&D players to start gaming yet again. The question came up again, 'would I be a part of this?' After some persistance and reasoning, I finially agreed, more so to prove how silly it was than actual intrest. That or it was me watching kids while he had so called fun? We got a sitter and I played.

Day of game. I must tell you, my hubby is the most sweetest, patient man I've ever met. Considering how clueless I was, he answered questions with such care at the worst times of asking these questions. Extremely stupid questions, when I look back! The other gamers looked as though they wanted to strangle me, but out of respect for my hubby's dilma, kept in check.

Needless to say, after coaching, and using my art intrest to snare me in as well. I'm hooked and look where we are today, a hubby and wife team of Grell Head Studios, lol....

I look back now, on how my hubby snared me into this game. It was with alot of sweet persistance, patience, and sneakiness. Since we do have children, our 9yr is old enough to play and has alot of fun, on the other hand our 2yr old just likes grabing as many dice and minatures he can muster before we wrestle them back again...

Hope this helps! Oh let me add one more thing, my hubby being the DM had its advantages when we first sat down to play. I think he fudged a few things in order to help me and keep me from dying on first try, lol..that and I'm sure he was thinking he still wants to share the same bed....Now that I'm hooked, he doesn't fudge things anymore, we have a few arguements, but thats what ya get when you bring your wife in the mix, lol..

 

[Gothmog]

I never have really had a problem with this sort of thing. When I first started gaming, my parents weren't too keen on the idea, but when I borrowed the old 1E books from a friend, sat down with them one night and showed them the books, talked about it, etc- they were cool with it. In fact, my dad got interested for a while and gamed with us- until he got heavily into politics!

As for my stance on girlfriend gamers- I haven't had any problem there either. I have known probably 10-15 female gamers over the years (although I never went out with any of them), and although quite a few women have expressed some interest in becoming romantically involved with me, none of them until recently were cool with gaming- which to me was a huge turn off. I wouldn't even consider becoming involved with a woman who had a problem with gaming, and would find it hard to be involved with a woman who didn't enjoy gaming. Luckily, my current (and first) girlfriend enjoys every aspect of gaming: the dice, minis, and the game itself- so I know I REALLY lucked out!

 

[Sixchan]

I never have really had a problem with this sort of thing. When I first started gaming, my parents weren't too keen on the idea, but when I borrowed the old 1E books from a friend, sat down with them one night and showed them the books, talked about it, etc- they were cool with it. In fact, my dad got interested for a while and gamed with us- until he got heavily into politics!

See? It's politicians that are holding us back! If we want recognition, we have to beat the politicians at their own game! We need our own political party to spread enjoyment of Gaming! If we were in charge, we could encourage the ideals of gaming (well, those of us who play good characters): Truth, Justice, Freedom and Heroism!

And then our Gene pool will be SO much larger! No more single gamers! No more prejudice! Geeks for World Domination!

 

[megamania]

Generally, I order my own goods and she wraps it for X-mas and B-day. Something worse than gaming in comics. My inlaws bought me (then in my mid-20's) a handful of old ratty Archies for comicbooks since they knew I collected "comics". Worse, my wife's aunts talk to me about Hi & Lois and Beetle Bailey confusing Comic strips and comic books. I still haven't suggested to them I play D&D. I'ld face the crucifix then no doubt.

 

[Lord Pendragon]

Okay, this message isn't meant to be offensive, but...

Well, I don't think the problem is that your wife doesn't understand gaming. I think the problem is bigger than that.

My father doesn't understand gaming. Heck, he doesn't even understand the appeal of reading. He thinks that reading fantasy, and playing rpgs, and writing on the Internet, is a stupid waste of time. He grew up thinking such people were nerds and geeks--with the worst possible connotation--and he's never been able to really get over that concept.

But I can't even begin to count the number of fantasy/rpg/D&D related gifts I've gotten over the years from my Dad. He never gets them wrong. Why? Because he knows that's what I want, and that it's important to me, regardless of what he thinks about them.

I think you need to talk to your wife about shopping for gifts in general. If she wants you to get something you like, the fact that she can't see the value in it shouldn't matter...

Then again, I'm not married, so take this entire message with a grain of salt.

 

[Drew]

As a side note my 3 y.o. daughter is now waking up and scared of monsters (common), witches (little unusual) and dragons (ahhhh dad is a role player ). I do not know if I should be worried yet or not? Maybe that will be my Wednesday off topic post.

My 3 year old son spends much of his time beneath our dining room table fighting dragons. And my wife is a fairly avid D&D player (I introduced her to the game), but isn't too keen on other games. I consider myself very blessed.

 

[Dr_Rictus]

Am not understanding the question. What is this "non-gamer" thing of which you speak?

Seriously, I guess I'm lucky. By far most of the people I know are gamers of some stripe or another. And since I make my living (and a fairly decent one) developing videogames, it would be pretty foolish of anybody to characterize my gaming as silly or childish.

And if there's one thing I've learned being a game designer, it's that the only thing that's silly or childish is looking down on anything that hurts nobody and genuinely brings someone happiness. Yeah, I suppose I just put down Shadowdancer's wife, but that's not my point (everyone has their flaws, after all). My point is, I feel for you, Shadowdancer. I hope you work this bone of contention out.