Gaming group dynamics

[Setanta]

If you're an adult you should have learned by now how to prioritize your time and schedule things consistantly.

There are no excuses for otherwise.

I don't agree. Many of us have the kinds of jobs that could interfere at the last minute. I had to cancel a play session once in the middle of a combat because I got called to a customer site. Some of my players have had similar circumstances. Two of my players (a married couple) have cancelled last minute a couple times because of babysitting issues.

If I had a more typical 4-6 players, I might not be so lenient, but with 9 there's pretty much always someone who can't show on any given sunday for some reason. Then again, even if I only had 4-6, I think I would still be lenient, because I consider myself lucky to have only been called away on work once throughout the whole campaign (running since 9/2000).

 

[Quickbeam]

Tortoise:
We rarely use cohorts at this point, but that's a suggestion which hadn't really occured to me and I'm certain will provide a workable solution. Thanks for the input !

Setanta:
I suppose you're right about not making a big deal regarding the realism of characters popping into and out of the campaign...it's a very viable means of handling no shows and absenteeism. This also has the additional benefit of not trashing existing characters entirely.

Garmorn:
We already rotate adventures and campaigns, and none of the regular players really want to spend our valuable time on several months of "goofy" sessions. I'm not trying to denegrate the idea of an occasional comedic or hack & slash one shot adventure, but realistically we're talking about four or five months of gaming here. I appreciate the suggestion, but none of the people in our group can afford to spend six hours every other week wasting time on a frivolous campaign. Once in a blue moon is fine, but the time we invest in D&D is taken pretty seriously given our schedules and RL commitments.

arcady:
I understand the point you're trying to make, and to a degree it's quite valid. Mature adults should know their schedules and availability; make plans accordingly; and then live up to their commitments. A lack of this kind of behavior is part of our problem right now, and it needs to be corrected. But moreso, we're seeing one or two of the players placing D&D as lower priority right now than they generally do during the colder months. This needs to be resolved, and perhaps using a cohort/NPC system is the way to go.
Just don't generalize too far, though, because as Setanta points out there are plenty of very good reasons to cancel or miss a session on short notice. In those instances we're plenty lenient and understanding, but they comprise a small portion of my group's present situation.

 

[Barendd Nobeard]

Two of my players (a married couple) have cancelled last minute a couple times because of babysitting issues.

Well, I hope only one of them cancelled. It only takes one parent to babysit!

 

[Junebug]

I am in a similar situation, but as a player, rather than a DM. My work shedule changed to interfere with the regular game-time. For now, my DM just pops me in when I can make it, but I am trying to figure out how to improve on this. One other player has offered to play my character, and I wouldn't mind that, if the DM allows it.
In my experience, the down side to popping in and out is that I don't enjoy always playing the lowest level character in the group, but I don't see a fair way to keep my character at the party's level without taking the risks. It is also difficult to think in character when you can hardly remember who your party members are. There's also the issue of treasure. I'd feel bad taking the best item knowing that I won't be playing the next session.
Hopefully, having my friend play my character will work out - though I wouldn't mind helping the DM run the bad guys .
We did this once, my character had been killed, the party resurrected him, but the DM swapped him out for a doppleganger. When I played next, he had me lead the party into an ambush. The party prevailed, but I (the doppleganger) got away - a small victory.

 

[Maldur]

How do you handle this, or does your group not concern itself with the logistics of character appearance and disappearance?

We dont really pay attention to the logistics of it all. We start every session with a indepth recap , so people who were not there are up to speed asto what happened.

But if you miss twice in a row, you have to bring pastries and other munchies

 

[Psion]

Lately, however, it's begun to appear that one or two of the players is going to habitually be absent from our sessions, perhaps gaming once every two months or so. Any suggestions on how to handle this problem?

I have a couple of "house rules" to this effect.

• First off, if the player is absent, I gracefully work their character out. For example, I leave them guarding the ship/fort, send them on a mission for their church or monastary, have them temporarily become involved with an NPC, etc.
• No absent player's character get a full share of XP. If they have what I consider a good excuse, I reduce the penalty. But normally, I only award them half XP. They also accumulate no treasure during this time.
• I set a limit of 6 or 7 players. (That is to say, it was seven, but after the last experience with seven players, I am thinking of moving the cap to 6.) If a player is absent for three weeks in a row, their seat at the game is considered "available." If there is not an available position in the party, then the player cannot return until one becomes available.

Some consider these rules harsh, but it seems to work.

I have no problem shrinking the group down to six or seven players, but I think we'd all want it to be done gracefully if that's the best solution.

Down to? (Cough) Are those seven ACTIVE players? I have had seven for the past few weeks and I find it a positive annoyance. Once the group was back at five, I was much happier.

 

[Shallown]

I agree with Arcady on this one.

I have had non gamers want to know why I get upset when people miss my game... after all "its just a game"

Well I compare it to bowling or some other team sport. If someone fails to show up for a league game and I had to default as team captain (read GM) I would be upset. If it couldn't be helped or something okay but if it is becuase the person just didn't feel like it well I would boot them friend or not. I would expect if I called them firend they would understand why I booted them.

It is the fact I take my gaming seriously. My time is valuable and yes it is just a game but so are most sports or any other team/group dependent hobbies.

I had a player who only gamed when it wasn't nice weather otherwise he wanted to be outdoors. I told him he might as well stay home while its raining, I wasn't going to be his second choice or his stand-by entertainment. He wanted to play but understood. Gaming was my entertainment/hobby and something I spent time working on.

When I was in the Coast guard and on an Icebreaker we played 5 or more nights a week when at sea and maybe once a month when in port. As Young men we had different prorities then.. now I'm old (not that old) and take my gaming more seriously. It is a conscious effort to game and takes time from other things in my life like my wife and daughter so it means something to me. I don't like to waste that time...Period

 

[Psion]

Well, I hope only one of them cancelled. It only takes one parent to babysit!

In my game, there is one couple that has difficult finding a babysitter, so usually one or the other shows up. Effectively they occupy only one seat.

There are other couples I have gamed with in which the woman does not game without the man. Just the way it is. Which is somewhat unfortunate, because in one case, I find the female member of the couple to be more into the campaign setting and characters where the man is obsessed with having the most maxed out character and constantly grouses about how unbalanced 3e is because the monk gets more attacks than he does and when the party rogue happens to be flanking a non-undead non-construct creature, she does more damage than he does.

 

[Quickbeam]

Thanks again to everyone for all of your input!!

At this point, I think we're going to either ask players who've made the conscious decision to play less often during summertime to take on running NPCs/cohorts -OR- allow characters to appear and disppear as necessary. We have no interest in altering the campaign more than these options would require, and we'd like to give the players in question a chance to still participate on occasion.

Much like many of you have indicated, I take my commitment to our D&D group very seriously. When I accept a position at the gaming table, it's the same thing as agreeing to play on a team/in an athletic league. Letting your teammates down without a solid reason is crappy, selfish, and inconsiderate, and ultimately I don't have much patience for this type of behavior. By the same token, though, I think giving folks a chance to bow our gracefully or participate on a diminished level is appropriate and reasonable.