Gaming Nags- how many are there out there?

[Crothian]

I had an ex who just didn't understand the game and what it meant to me. She didn't nag so much as pout and wonder why I spent all this time and money on sopmething she didn't get. Then I became and ENnie judge for the first year and had no time for her and that was the end of that.

 

[Teflon Billy]

How many gamers out there have their significant other nagging them about the amount of gaming or gaming related activities?

This can include only significant others- parents don't count, though I will place a voting area for Other which includes everyone not SO.

“You aren’t gaming tonight!”

“I game every Saturday. You know that.”

“Not tonight. I want you to watch some stupid movie with me that you have no interest in while I knit and pay no attention to you.”

“I work hard all week this is what I am doing tonight. If you want we can do that tomorrow.”

it used to go like that with my Ex-Wife every Wednesday.

Her: "You're gaming tonight???"

Me: "Um yeah. Every Wednesday for the last 4 years. Did we have plans or something?"

Her: "(Acting Wounded) Well, no; but now we defintiely can't make any!

It was just one facet of her constant wrangling for the "Alpha" position in the relationship, but one that made me angry more for it's sheer repetition than anything else.

but my answer for purposes of the Poll is "no". My new wife is awesome.

 

[Angel of Adventure]

It seems to me that gamin' and wives just don't mix. I discussed this one of my players (newly married) who thinks that his wife is now deliberately coming up with stuff he HAS to do whenever there are games, despite the fact that he clears it with her earlier and she doesn't say she won't "let" him play.

I guess the real issue is that anything that takes time away from us is resented, so D&D is no different. I just wish the explaination of, "At least I'm not in some strip joint, gettin' plastered and try to harvest silicon melons!" meant a little bit more.

 

[Bront]

I get support for it, and only game every other week, and occasionaly if I get a chance beyond that.

However, when she hears I'm gaming, she does act somewhat wounded. But she does that when I work overtime too. She also isn't happy if I'm working on things between games, even if it's when she's asleep or otherwise occupied.

I don't really understand it, and sometimes she's better than others. I do know plenty of couples who have no problem with gaming. Sometimes the kids actualy play, sometimes the wife actualy plays, and sometimes neither. I've found that the relationships where it's allowed, supported, or at least tolerated unconditionaly, tend to last longer, be stronger, and both tend to be happier.

I've also seen gamers who get married and disapear from any group. Those tend to be unhealthy relationships.

 

[Axegrrl]

> It seems to me that gamin' and wives just don't mix.
Ahem. IME, when both parties in the relationship game, they generally mix quite well, thank you.

But when you have gamer + non-gamer... then you have to compromise. One guy I know arranges his game so it's on nights when his wife is out doing something else. Another guy games on the night his wife works late. Yet another games only on weeknights, as weekends are reserved for his wife. One group I heard of, composed mainly of guys with non-gaming wives, decided to introduce all the wives in question and try to get them to regularly have a "girls night out" on game night.

 

[DungeonmasterCal]

Never had the problem. I always put family first, gaming second, but always have time for both. A guy in my group announced tonight he and his wife are expecting their first child in March. His wife has never understood the game, never hesitates to tell us how immature she thinks it is and how socially unacceptable it is, and announced a couple years ago that when they have children, his gaming days are over. So after his announcement tonight, after March it's unlikely he'll be be allowed to game again. Which is sad, because we've gamed together since 1987.

 

[Elf Witch]

In our one game the wive of the DM has made it quite clear she does not want him to game. We went from Sunday afternoons to Wednesday nights but she kept him later and later (they have to have dinner before the game) we were not getting started until around 9 and we had to wrap up at midnight. This was not working so we switched to Fridays and now we game in that game every other Friday. And she still does not like it.

We started another a new game with another DM for the other Fridays. And yeah we have problems with his SO she is a rules lawyer. all kidding aside she loves gaming and has been a lot of fun at the table.

 

[IronWolf]

I think its all about compromise (well... at least a portion of it). My wife is not a gamer, but for the most part she is pretty supportive. I spent a large portion of my time at Origins this year and she is coming out to Indy with our son for Gen Con. In our case I do keep aware of what it means to her if I go straight from work to gaming or out all day playing games at a con - a harder day for her being responsible for IronPup all day long (which is quite a task).

So my game nights are every other week on Thursdays. Generally any extra sessions for me start at 8pm, that allows me time to go home, eat dinner, give IronPup a bath and make the evening a little easier for her while still getting me to the game without having missed too much. She is also really cool with bonus sessions that occur at our house. Unfortunately I am not the most central location for our group, so those sessions tend to run on Saturdays when everyone has time and the desire to play another game.

So in my case, if my wife does nag, it probably means I have pushed the limit a little too far and need to make sure I am watching out for her and making sure she gets her time to herself and such.

I didn't vote in the poll, as I don't think I fit cleanly into the options.

 

[Nellisir]

My wife has too much going on in her own life to nag. Between playing volleyball, coaching volleyball, working with our dogs, and going to the gym, she's home alot less than I am. I never play Friday - Sunday, though, so we have some time together.She doesn't game, and has no interest or involvement in it, but understands it's something I enjoy.

 

[tjoneslo]

My wife is known to nag me for a game. As in "Are you ready to DM yet? I want to play now!"

Now that sounds familiar.