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Girl Gamer Stereotypes...or lack thereof?
- Thread starter Djeta Thernadier
- Start date
Baastet
First Post
Better late than never!
As a gamer grrl (a little old for just girl ^_^) I have come across alot of different reactions to my presense at the myriad of tables I have played at.
IMO, There are NO typical gamer girls, we are so few and far between. Most of the gamer girl sterotypes are typical sterotypes of women period.
As for what "type" of gamer girl I am well... I can say I don't wear alot of makeup (I already have a husband and frankly I am not trying to impress anyone). I am antiproconfromistic and always have been. ^_~ My hair is odd colors (I hate my blonde hair and love to stand out) and usually in a pony tail (to keep it out of my face. I gotta be able to see my dice!). I wear sweats and t-shirts at game night (I would raher be comfortable than anything especially since I want to concentrate on the game not the tightness of my clothes). Also since I do game, most of my free money is spent on miniatures, books and dice rather than shoes and foofy clothes! ^_^
What I do not understand is why gamer girls get such a bad rap as players, or become the objects of intense jealousy from the wives of other gamers. Are we so threatening to them? I have had people tell me they can't play in a game with me because thier wives don't want them near me or that they refuse to play with women gamers. Can anyone give me a reason for the later? I understand the wives thing, I assume it has to do with insecurity on the wife's part. But why do some guys hate to play with female gamers?
Also if someone can answer me this: The number one attidude that I reallllly can't stand is the one once a gamer guy finds out I am married.. "Oh so you were brought into the game by your husband!" I am not sure why it bothers me so much. Perhaps it due to the usual smug, patronizing tone that accompanies it. But why do they even ask that question? Can anyone explain to me why this a prevelent attitude? Also why are people looked down on if they are introduced to game through a significant other?
Oh and to answer that particular question. I have been gaming for 15 years now, and met my husband when I went to play in his Birthright game.
As a gamer grrl (a little old for just girl ^_^) I have come across alot of different reactions to my presense at the myriad of tables I have played at.
IMO, There are NO typical gamer girls, we are so few and far between. Most of the gamer girl sterotypes are typical sterotypes of women period.
As for what "type" of gamer girl I am well... I can say I don't wear alot of makeup (I already have a husband and frankly I am not trying to impress anyone). I am antiproconfromistic and always have been. ^_~ My hair is odd colors (I hate my blonde hair and love to stand out) and usually in a pony tail (to keep it out of my face. I gotta be able to see my dice!). I wear sweats and t-shirts at game night (I would raher be comfortable than anything especially since I want to concentrate on the game not the tightness of my clothes). Also since I do game, most of my free money is spent on miniatures, books and dice rather than shoes and foofy clothes! ^_^
What I do not understand is why gamer girls get such a bad rap as players, or become the objects of intense jealousy from the wives of other gamers. Are we so threatening to them? I have had people tell me they can't play in a game with me because thier wives don't want them near me or that they refuse to play with women gamers. Can anyone give me a reason for the later? I understand the wives thing, I assume it has to do with insecurity on the wife's part. But why do some guys hate to play with female gamers?
Also if someone can answer me this: The number one attidude that I reallllly can't stand is the one once a gamer guy finds out I am married.. "Oh so you were brought into the game by your husband!" I am not sure why it bothers me so much. Perhaps it due to the usual smug, patronizing tone that accompanies it. But why do they even ask that question? Can anyone explain to me why this a prevelent attitude? Also why are people looked down on if they are introduced to game through a significant other?
Oh and to answer that particular question. I have been gaming for 15 years now, and met my husband when I went to play in his Birthright game.
Reprisal
First Post
Your assumption seems accurate, to a casual observer like myself. Wives of gamers might be wary of female gamers because it's an unknown variable in the relationship between her husband and herself. I suppose this would extend to any sort of club, or extracurricular activity. Reminds me those instances, fictitious or not, where wives of businessmen force their husbands to hire a "non-threatening" secretary.
Haven't a clue why some guys might not want to play with female gamers... other than that whole "Guy's Night Out" thing, of course.
I haven't really given that much thought, really,
- Rep.
Cedric
First Post
I've only ever gamed with one woman who annoyed me. She was very easily offended by anything she construed as "guy talk". If we mentioned any of several kinds of movies, if anyone made a comment polite or otherwise regarding women or if the slightest trace of testosterone entered the conversation she would roll her eyes and complain in this irritating motherly tone that seemed to be trying to convince you that you were beneath her contempt.
Just the memory of that woman grates on my nerves...
Cedric
Just the memory of that woman grates on my nerves...
Cedric
mythago
Hero
Baastet said:
Some of those guys may have wives who couldn't care less about you being in their game group--but "My wife would be mad" sounds a lot better than "I don't wanna play with a GIRL."
Some of them probably chase anything in a skirt, and that's why their wives are paranoid. (Why they stay married to these guys is another question.)
Some of them don't quite know how to deal with a woman in any context other than "potential sexual partner."
Kichwas
Half-breed, still living despite WotC racism
Some women may find their husband spending 4 to 8 hours in a room talking in a very familiar manner to a woman with them there and without them understanding the context to be rather intimidating.
She's a friend your man has, that you don't share, who seems to relate to him on something he cares a lot about that you have no interest in or solid grasp of.
That can easily be a threat to one's nesting instincts.
How many men would want their wife spending hours with and forming a close bond to an attractive straight man talking about -girl- things the two share in common that they just don't get?
When you think about it, it's quite natural for the wife or husband to get jealous.
She's a friend your man has, that you don't share, who seems to relate to him on something he cares a lot about that you have no interest in or solid grasp of.
That can easily be a threat to one's nesting instincts.
How many men would want their wife spending hours with and forming a close bond to an attractive straight man talking about -girl- things the two share in common that they just don't get?
When you think about it, it's quite natural for the wife or husband to get jealous.
For the record, I don't have a problem with female gamers. My stereotype of them usually involves them being much less "kick down door, kill monster, take its stuff" than the guy gamers I play with, and therefore more interesting to play with. Of course, that's just a stereotype, based on the three or four women I've played with. I'm sure that there are women who become bad.
The bad gamer girl stereotype I've heard is actually the drama queen complaint, not the "doesn't know the rules" complaint or the "improper to be with my husband" complaint. I've taught enough people the rules to know that it can be confusing for anyone, regardless of gender, and as for the impropriety... unless the gamer girl is milking the drama and trying to seduce me with overwrought bodice-ripping stuff, I believe that my wife at least is quite comfortable in her opinion that gaming, while it may be fun and entertaining for those who enjoy it, is NOT sexy, and is NOT going to lead to nookie -- at least, not in our group. And if the gamer girl IS going all bodice-rippy, that's just gonna tick me off. I've never had ANY problems with the women I've gamed with, though -- of the drama-queen variety or otherwise.
The bad gamer girl stereotype I've heard is actually the drama queen complaint, not the "doesn't know the rules" complaint or the "improper to be with my husband" complaint. I've taught enough people the rules to know that it can be confusing for anyone, regardless of gender, and as for the impropriety... unless the gamer girl is milking the drama and trying to seduce me with overwrought bodice-ripping stuff, I believe that my wife at least is quite comfortable in her opinion that gaming, while it may be fun and entertaining for those who enjoy it, is NOT sexy, and is NOT going to lead to nookie -- at least, not in our group. And if the gamer girl IS going all bodice-rippy, that's just gonna tick me off. I've never had ANY problems with the women I've gamed with, though -- of the drama-queen variety or otherwise.
MrFilthyIke
First Post
takyris said:
Ah, you don't know my wife.
Pretty, fashion-conscious, hyper-intelligent...
and the most blood-thirsty dwarf head-hunter I've encountered.
Part of ROLE-playing is taking on personas, from minor to
extreme, that are different from who we are day-to-day.
And girls and guys are both equally able to do this.
