Girlfriend in Gamer's Clothing

[The Thayan Menace]

True Dat! (x100)

Preach on, Brother Fishbone!

-Samir

 

[The Grackle]

Have you ever been in a situation where a friend or girlfriend seemed to screw up the flow of the game? Have you ever suspected that another person only shows up to influence a gamer into quitting the hobby?

Yes and yes.
A couple times actually. It's like some terrible, inevitable pattern repeated over and over through history. Only once did a gf successfully join, and that was after many months of ignoring us, then listening in, then asking questions, and finally joining the game.

 

[I'm A Banana]

Note to over-obsessive mates:

Look, not everything your significant other does is something you need to be involved in.

If you don't get it or aren't into it, leave 'em to their nerdfest for the night. It won't kill you, they will come back, and just 'cuz you don't get why they like to pretend to be an elf for 4 hours on a Sunday doesn't mean they don't want to be with you.

Seriously. Try it out, but if it's not your thing, don't force it. Not everyone enjoys the same stuff.

 

[Knightfall]

Have you ever been in a situation where a friend or girlfriend seemed to screw up the flow of the game? Have you ever suspected that another person only shows up to influence a gamer into quitting the hobby?

Yes and No.

And let's leave at that.

 

[Aus_Snow]

Have you ever been in a situation where a friend or girlfriend seemed to screw up the flow of the game? Have you ever suspected that another person only shows up to influence a gamer into quitting the hobby?

No. But it doesn't surprise me that it happens here and there.

After all, it happens with other interests and hobbies. I would say it's not at all a feature of RPGs, but a potential feature of relationships and life in general.

 

[Hairfoot]

If you don't get it or aren't into it, leave 'em to their nerdfest for the night. It won't kill you, they will come back, and just 'cuz you don't get why they like to pretend to be an elf for 4 hours on a Sunday doesn't mean they don't want to be with you.

Amen to that. The OP rings true for me on account of experiences with two separate game groups. In the first it was a simple case of "if we're together, we should do everything together", so the spouse was bemused but friendly.

The second was a horror. "All my hopes, dreams, and self-esteem are pinned on my boyfriend of six weeks. Anyone who has his attention - who isn't me - is a threat which must be destroyed". It was awful.

 

[Baroness]

In my group we've often experienced gamer's girlfriends, but it was only a problem when there were 2 of them at the same time, because they talked to each other for the whole game and distracted everyone.

 

[Li Shenron]

I think it's always best if the SO only come and watch first, before they come and play.

They should want to play because the like the game, not because they like their fiancee...

 

[Hairfoot]

I think it's always best if the SO only come and watch first, before they come and play.

They should want to play because the like the game, not because they like their fiancee...

I agree. It's all too easy to indulge in sexism, but it's obvious that where men separate "me" time from "relationship" time, female partners usually consider them mutually inclusive. Therefore, it can be hard to sustain a healthy partnership and a satisfying game schedule unless, by some miracle, you're girlf enjoys the game as well.

For men, a relationship is a relationship, and a hobby is a hobby. For women, the relationship is the hobby.

 

[Aus_Snow]

For men, a relationship is a relationship, and a hobby is a hobby. For women, the relationship is the hobby.

Hm. That doesn't strike me as sexist, so much as. . . odd(?) It just doesn't add up to what I personally have seen to be the case in life. Though I could be peculiar/singular in that. I'm not sure.

My girlfriend is a hardcore hobbyist, mind you. As is her best friend. Er. . . as is my (next) best female friend. So yeah, I might be in the minority, I guess.