Do your D&D games ever contain romantic elements? I’m not talking about stereotypical antics involving trying to hook up with NPC barmaids or seduce a guard as a distraction. Realistic relationships are unlikely to develop that much in a one-shot, or in a style of play which de-emphasizes role play in favor of action. But in longer-running games with ample time for RP, I’m curious how often it actually becomes a plot element.
I’ve played in games with real-life couples whose characters were involved with each other from the start. That seems to be fairly common based on what I’ve heard from other people, and it makes sense. Player groups with a mix of genders and orientations may be more likely to introduce intra-party romance. And some players may feel uncomfortable dealing with in-game romance and prefer to avoid it entirely. However, it can add an interesting element to your game if the other player involved also is onboard with the idea.
Ask Before Proceeding
If you want to initiate a romance between your character and another player’s, don’t take it for granted that the other player is into it. You probably can gauge how your target will feel about it when you know that player well enough. If you’re friends, they may be fine with you introducing the notion within the game, and just roll with it.
For example, I am playing in a Curse of Strahd campaign with friends. Naturally, most of our characters are strangers thrown together by mysteriously misty circumstances. A few sessions in, my friend playing a non-binary half-elf sorcerer announced that her character definitely would flirt with my character. She knows me well enough to know it wouldn’t bother me, regardless of whether my character was interested. But my character was very okay with it, so it was that simple for our characters to start up a little romance. There’s little time for a slow burn in Barovia, so we just jumped in. Our DM was entertained enough by this to make us both roll DEX checks for makeout success once (I rolled a 19!), and their relationship became a minor aspect of the overall narrative.
However, some players might be very not-okay with a move like that. Amorous pursuits can be a sensitive subject, so I encourage you always to proceed with caution and respect (in D&D and life in general). Either way, it may be prudent to ask the other player outside the game if they are comfortable with the idea of your character showing interest in theirs. Some DMs also might appreciate you sharing your intentions with them. As a DM, I would love to know when a character in a sandbox game has a crush so I can pick up that thread, but that’s just my own preference.
PC and NPC, Sitting in a Tree
Striking up a romance with an NPC presents its own challenges. It’s one thing to have two PCs get involved, but starting a thing with an NPC potentially translates into one character having long interactions with the DM that could get tedious for other players over time. But if your group enjoys RP-heavy play where each character can have their own interests and side plots, it can be a great source of drama and/or comedy.
In another ongoing campaign with my friends, we all are playing young adults, and most of our characters don’t have much romantic experience, if any. It was fun when one character starting awkwardly flirting with a cute young elf cleric NPC we met. She wanted to ask her out, so the rest of our characters dropped everything else we were doing to help. We kinda derailed the session with what quickly turned into Archie Comics-style teen hijinx, but we had a blast. Making sure they had a successful coffee date instantly became a group project for the party.
Our characters just had been through a bunch of drama and near-death, so it was a perfect way for those kids to blow off some steam and put their energy into a positive project that didn’t involve killing anyone. We tapped the full comedic potential of having a minotaur monk, a goliath barbarian, an aasimar fighter, and a human rogue run around gathering intel about the cleric so our dragonborn paladin could have good small talk over coffee with her. They’re both rather shy and their romance is developing slowly, but it added a fun new dimension...and we got ourselves a friendly cleric who will help our party not die. Win-win!
There are so many ways in-game romance can turn out either well or horribly, for characters and players alike. Do you ever include romantic plots in your D&D campaigns? If so, did it add an enjoyable element to your story, or create any issues?
contributed by Annie Bulloch
I’ve played in games with real-life couples whose characters were involved with each other from the start. That seems to be fairly common based on what I’ve heard from other people, and it makes sense. Player groups with a mix of genders and orientations may be more likely to introduce intra-party romance. And some players may feel uncomfortable dealing with in-game romance and prefer to avoid it entirely. However, it can add an interesting element to your game if the other player involved also is onboard with the idea.
Ask Before Proceeding
If you want to initiate a romance between your character and another player’s, don’t take it for granted that the other player is into it. You probably can gauge how your target will feel about it when you know that player well enough. If you’re friends, they may be fine with you introducing the notion within the game, and just roll with it.
For example, I am playing in a Curse of Strahd campaign with friends. Naturally, most of our characters are strangers thrown together by mysteriously misty circumstances. A few sessions in, my friend playing a non-binary half-elf sorcerer announced that her character definitely would flirt with my character. She knows me well enough to know it wouldn’t bother me, regardless of whether my character was interested. But my character was very okay with it, so it was that simple for our characters to start up a little romance. There’s little time for a slow burn in Barovia, so we just jumped in. Our DM was entertained enough by this to make us both roll DEX checks for makeout success once (I rolled a 19!), and their relationship became a minor aspect of the overall narrative.
However, some players might be very not-okay with a move like that. Amorous pursuits can be a sensitive subject, so I encourage you always to proceed with caution and respect (in D&D and life in general). Either way, it may be prudent to ask the other player outside the game if they are comfortable with the idea of your character showing interest in theirs. Some DMs also might appreciate you sharing your intentions with them. As a DM, I would love to know when a character in a sandbox game has a crush so I can pick up that thread, but that’s just my own preference.
PC and NPC, Sitting in a Tree
Striking up a romance with an NPC presents its own challenges. It’s one thing to have two PCs get involved, but starting a thing with an NPC potentially translates into one character having long interactions with the DM that could get tedious for other players over time. But if your group enjoys RP-heavy play where each character can have their own interests and side plots, it can be a great source of drama and/or comedy.
In another ongoing campaign with my friends, we all are playing young adults, and most of our characters don’t have much romantic experience, if any. It was fun when one character starting awkwardly flirting with a cute young elf cleric NPC we met. She wanted to ask her out, so the rest of our characters dropped everything else we were doing to help. We kinda derailed the session with what quickly turned into Archie Comics-style teen hijinx, but we had a blast. Making sure they had a successful coffee date instantly became a group project for the party.
Our characters just had been through a bunch of drama and near-death, so it was a perfect way for those kids to blow off some steam and put their energy into a positive project that didn’t involve killing anyone. We tapped the full comedic potential of having a minotaur monk, a goliath barbarian, an aasimar fighter, and a human rogue run around gathering intel about the cleric so our dragonborn paladin could have good small talk over coffee with her. They’re both rather shy and their romance is developing slowly, but it added a fun new dimension...and we got ourselves a friendly cleric who will help our party not die. Win-win!
There are so many ways in-game romance can turn out either well or horribly, for characters and players alike. Do you ever include romantic plots in your D&D campaigns? If so, did it add an enjoyable element to your story, or create any issues?
contributed by Annie Bulloch
