I think its not likely that handing everyone this list will actually have any impact on what happens at the table. It may give the players the impression that the style of game you have all been playing isn't too satisfying to the DM, which may cause them some anxiety but its not likely to change their behavior.
In terms of getting them to pay better attention at the table the key elements are to keep up the momentum of the game and make sure each situation engages all of the players as much as possible. Create an adventure that is itself pretty tense. Maybe one with a bit of a horror kind of thing going. Monsters pop out of the dark and grab people unexpectedly, nasty stress traps, stuff like that. Most players will be paying attention when the party is in a bit of a crisis and they're fighting for their lives. Most combat encounters sort of do that, but the players get used to them after a while and the feeling of danger can start to ebb, at which point the game kind of gets to feel like playing monopoly.
Hone your story telling skills. Write up some detailed descriptions of the environment you can read off to the players, but don't give them all the details at once. As they explore you can tell them about a sound they here or vermin scattering away from the light of their torches, or a mysterious light or smell. It could be something that gives them foreshadowing of an encounter to come or may just be some mundane detail. When you spring an encounter on them sometimes have the party be surprised or have a trap spring and then monsters attack. Once in a while have something turn out in a very unexpected way, like someone they think they are going to talk to attacks them or does something strange. Obviously you want to work this stuff into the story line, but I expect you can do that.
Make sure combat is going fairly quickly. There are plenty of threads around with suggestions on ways to get rid of slowdowns in combat. When each character's turn takes 30 seconds the game has a much more fast paced feel to it. Make sure there are plenty of creative ways the players can interact with terrain and whatnot as well so their creative minds are engaged during encounters.
You may also want to use more skill challenges and open ended RP elements in your game if the players don't really seem to be too keen on doing a lot of fighting. As the DMG points out, there are different types of players who tend to get interested in different aspects of the game. Try some of the RP suggestions in DMG2. Let your players have some control of describing the whole world, like through their backgrounds they can add details to the campaign (DM of course will make sure this kind of stuff all fits together OK). You can do some of the things like vignettes where you allow the players to take the parts of some NPCs and play out some plot element that isn't directly related to the party but explains the story or shows them some aspect of the overall plot that will interest them. A dream sequence or flashback or prophetic vision can be interesting too.
As far as players that simply don't grasp the rules and aren't that good with keeping their sheets up to date or adding up their numbers there isn't a LOT you can do. You can only lead the horse to water, you can't make him drink. Maybe getting a DDI subscription and having them use Character Builder will help. It does all the number crunching for you and shows them all their choices for powers/feats/etc so they don't have to be experts with all the character generation related stuff.
As far as combat rules mastery, you may not be able to get some players to ever totally understand it simply because they don't really have a good brain for tactics and they don't find it interesting enough or it doesn't make enough sense to them to remember it all. You can try running some sort of "training exercise" kind of encounters where you give them very simple problems to solve. Like say give them a higher level soldier monster to fight. They won't be able to hit it much if they just run up and bash at it. Instead they'll have to use flanking and learn to have the leader give them hit bonuses before they use their good powers, etc. Give them a flying monster like some bloodhawks to deal with and explain to them how to ready an action to hit it when it flys down to attack or how to use their ranged attacks. Don't expect these lessons to sink in for all players. Some players also just take a long time to get it, maybe even a year or more. Maybe have other players explain things to them, sometimes a different way of explaining it works.
