guys and girls

[takyris]

As a player, I've played female characters. It's not often, but sometimes it's the concept that works for me.

As a DM, of course, I have to DM everything -- but I wouldn't classify DMing a female character as being equal to playing a female character. As a player, you're stuck with your character for awhile. You've got more ramifications to explore. It's a deeper level of immersion than the average DM-level roleplay experience (although in cases where you're playing a dedicated party henchwoman or something, that could be different; still, the fact that you break out of that to be the male guard, the ogre, and, in some cases, the animated statue means that you're never in that mindset all the time).

I've seen it done well and I've seen it done badly, and while I'm happy to allow it, I would disagree with people who say that it's no different from roleplaying a different race or a specific class or something along those lines. I'd love to get really truly deep and philosophical about it, but I've got nothing to go on but my gut in this. When I watch Farscape, D'Argo is definitely an alien -- but at the same time, a lot of the time, he and John are just guys. D'Argo relates to Chrichton better than Aeryn does, most of the time (and yes, Aeryn isn't human, but her biology is a lot closer than anyone else on this ship), because, in the unwritten rules of the show, being an alien may make you different in several interesting ways, but being a different gender almost always makes you different in significant ways. That's part of the space-cowboy appeal of Farscape, I think -- the fact that the dude with the tentacles, the human, and the guy in the floating pod can all say, "Females! in unison with the same combination of frustration, confusion, and admiration. I don't think that Farscape is a perfect reflection of reality, but I do believe that it's a decent reflection of many popular beliefs.

In my own personal experience, when my buddies have played a dwarf, and elf, a paladin, or a ranger/wizard, they've still, fundamentally, been playing guys. However, as soon as one of my buddies decides to play a female anything, it gets different. There's a different dynamic, a different feel, something that makes the character more different than if the character had been male. (Er, by which I am trying to say: A high-Int, low-Wis, medium-Cha male player seems more like himself when playing a low-Int, high-Wis, high-Cha male elven sorcerer than when playing a high-Int, low-Wis, medium-Cha female rogue -- even though the stats are different and the class is more "out there", the maleness makes the character closer to the player.)

Again, I have no great logical rationale for it, and in many groups, I imagine that it's not true. I completely own that it could be a particular sign of my group's idiosyncracies or shortcomings or roleplaying limitations or whatever. For us, however, it is true. That doesn't mean that we don't allow people to play cross-gender -- far from it. The different-ness is sometimes a really neat thing. But that's not always where some groups want to go. There's a good long list of things I don't intend to show in the game -- and some of those things are things that people in other groups might find completely fine, and fun, and enjoyable, and even necessary. Cross-gender play is not on that list of things I want to avoid in my games, but I don't really think that my list is better than anyone else's.

 

[Capellan]

You go to conventions, sooner or later you end up playing a cross-gender character. It's not that big a deal

In home games, I generally play my own gender, but if I had some amazingly cool concept that just 'had' to be female, I'd do it. It just hasn't happened recently.

 

[Trainz]

My current character is a male sorceror 9th. He's bi-sexual.

Sure, that raised some eye-brows of the other PC's, but they know my whacky style and didn't push the issue. It made for fun and interesting moments.

I decided on the spur of the moment: we were in an Inn, and being a dude with a lot of charisma, I couldn't resist. I asked the DM "Any cute girls around ?" to which he rolled a die and answered "Not particularly" and then I said "Oh well... any cute guys ?". The players where dumbfounded when they saw me walking up to my room with a dude.

Before you ask, I'm heterosexual myself, happily married and two kids. I just don't have any prejudice against any sexual orientation, and that transpires into my games.

 

[bweibeler]

I am male and I almost always play female characters. Some people seem to think that it's weird since I'm not female, but they don't seem to have a problem playing an elf or half-orc when they are human.

 

[Galethorn]

I'm male, and I've only ever played male characters. That's not to say I'll never play a girl...it's just that I like playing tall, burly warriors with lots of facial hair.

 

[Umbra]

I base my decision about the gender to make a character based for a multiple of reasons such as (some stereotypes follow for the sake of brevity ):

What is the gender balance in the party?
The well rounded party doesn't mean just a balance of classes and races. Sometimes when you come across the burnt out farm house, the woman who has just lost her husband and children in an orc raid will be more communicative to another woman. Some organisations, religions and cultures will ban men or women from certain places, jobs, etc. Sometimes a member of the opposite sex will have a better chance of getting x from y. etc

Which gender will provide the most interesting role-play opportunities (difference = conflict = good drama)?
Both within the party and within the setting. Example, if the party is all female, playing a male can be interesting. If the party approaches a town gate and the guards automatically talk to the male in the party...watch out!

Which gender matches the character concept/history?
I have created a character that was a male halforc barbarian but on thinking about the history (human mother raped by orc) I decided playing a female would add to the characterisation of someone with absolutely no tolerance for full blood orcs, rapists and most especially, both !

What will be fun/educational?
I can't separate these two aspects as they are strongly connected for me. Yes I may be crap in playing a female character (from a female's point of view) but it's fun to try and I may just learn something about how the other sex operates (blatant generalisation but I have noticed a few things).

The DM.
Of course, DM's without the skills to handle this stuff make the point mute.

For those interested, there is a great book by Deborah Tannen (i think) called You Just Don't Understand. Tannen is a social linguist who analyses how men and women use language differently and what their preferences for communicating are. Reading this book improved my relationship with my mum enormously (we were going through a rough patch) and with women in general .

 

[Andrew D. Gable]

My DM won't let us play characters that are not our gender. He says it makes things weird because it's hard to role play from a perspective that you, by nature, cannot understand...

That's pretty much the reason I've only ever played one female character. I don't know if it's a sort of sexist idea or not, but I always at least told myself that women would react to certain things differently. So I almost always stick to male characters. Except for on Everquest, but, well, that's a story for another time and place.

Meanwhile, I have a few (guy) players who almost consistently play female characters. Especially drow women.

 

[Cannibal_Kender]

I've played male characters from time to time. Like others I tend to make characters by concept, and if I imagine a certain character to be male, so be it.

 

[Haradim]

I'm male, and probably half my characters are now female.

Typically, this is simply because the character was female when it popped into my head. I sometimes find I have trouble just making a character; I tend to prefer going wherever inspiration takes me, and that has led to a number of female characters. Sadly, I've never really had a chance to really explore these characters; we are notoriously bad for never playing anything long enough to actually get into character. We usually only get 1 session out of a given group of characters (unless they are taken along into whatever happens to be run...a practice I tend to dislike).

My other method of gender determination is a simple roll of the dice, when I don't have a clear idea on gender, or if I don't really care one way or the other. This was how I generated my Mage character last night.

When it comes to actually playing these characters, I usually just play them as per whatever personality I have in mind. I don't concern myself with being 'correct' in how I play a character (given how subjective that is), especially since I would probably fail if I tried that even with a male PC. I don't doubt there are various nuances I'm missing, but they are unlikely to matter a great deal anyway unless someone makes a point of making them matter...which can just as easily become a problem for a male or elf character.

That said, the more convincing a masquerade I can pull off, the better. A good performance means that I've begun to understand what it is I'm playing. Or maybe we are all just stereotypically clueless when it comes to the opposite sex, and nobody noticed

 

[Aeric]

I'm a (hetero) guy, and I think I've probably played more female characters than male ones. I find it easier to make deep, three-dimensional characters if they are female. I guess it has something to do with the notion that guys are insensitive brutes. This is something I've been meaning to work on, so the next time I conceive of a female character, I'm going to try making her as a male without changing too much of her background and personality, and see if it still works for me.

I also like to draw my characters, and I enjoy (and am better at) drawing women than men. That might also have something to do with it.

I've only ever been in one group that was wigged out by my playing a female character. In fact, I've been in games where my characters have had romantic relationships with other player-characters played by guys, and there was never any wigginess going on. I guess I've just been lucky to have played with so many open minded people over the years.