Has one of the people in your campaign ever died in real life?

[Stormonu]

I had a female friend who I played Vampire with who passed away (just prior to her wedding, sadly) a few years back. We had not played the particular campaign in some time, and it was actually a few years before I could even contemplate playing Vampire for a while. When I eventually started back up Vampire games, her character sometimes shows up as an NPC, but it tends to be cameo appearances. Her character's establishment, The Crypt - a vampire nightclub - has figured prominently in the game.

When a co-DM recently approached me about a plot that would leave her NPCed character basically destroyed, I got angry inside. I managed to keep my cool, but it somehow felt like a slight against her memory. Luckily, the plot was never used. Still, it presented me with the dangers of emotional attachments we tend to still have with friends long gone - and how we react to the threat of degradation or destruction of what memories we still have.

 

[JoeBlank]

I think the only person I have gamed with regularly who has passed away was Angelsboi. Many of the posters in this thread likely remember him, as he was active on EN World. He has left our group before he passed. No idea how we would have handled it if he had been an active player. I think I like the idea of having the player's PC retire to a happy life.

 

[Retreater]

First, I'd like to offer my condolences on the loss of your friend.

My experience with a gamer death happened about 10 years ago. A good friend of mine (also a regular gamer with us) passed away very suddenly and unexpectantly at age 16.

We stopped the campaign and didn't resume for a few months. As most in our group were very close to him, the new campaign became a very therapeutic way of dealing with our grief. It grew into the longest lasting, most memorable campaign any of us has played.

I remember sessions of very emotional roleplaying. We ended up discussing beliefs in the afterlife and the meaning of our existences all in the framework of D&D. And when the campaign ended in its natural climax, there was a catharsis reached, and we stopped playing for quite a while.

So I guess that my advice would be ... it depends on your group. I would ask them what they would want to do. Are they feeling comfortable with it?

At any rate, I hope that you can continue to celebrate the life and memories of your friend at the gaming table and beyond.

Retreater

 

[Mr. Wilson]

A friend of mine died from complications to an assault he suffered earlier this year. We were playing in a skype 4E campaign with various friends who had scattered throughout the world since college.

The important thing is to remember and honor your friend the best way you know how. In my case, my 11 year old homebrew world has a new statue dedicated to his longest running character in his homeland. Corny, yes. Imaginary, heck yeah.

But meaningful to those of us who knew him.

I think it's best to discuss amongst yourselves how you want to proceed. You know your group far better than any of us. Personally, we just stopped and started a new game. I think it would have been too painful to continue on.

 

[S'mon]

A long-time player in many online PBEMs I ran died last December. It was quite a shock, I had known him for years, he was a nice guy, and he had helped another online long-time friend with her IRL issues. I did not feel able to continue the current (Wilderlands) PBEM, actually I haven't PBEM'd since. One of the other PBEM players, who is also a friend IRL, has since transferred his PC from that defunct game to a new text-chat Wilderlands campaign I'm running.

 

[Peter Lee]

Back in 2000 I lost one of the gamers in my group to a heart attack. I was working at the University at the time, and he passed away one morning on the way to work. Things were never the same without him being there, and we never restarted the same campaign. Some of us would get together in other campaigns, but when we tried to play again as a group, it just didn't feel right and we didn't last more than two sessions. We try to gather for a board game night once a year in Madison, but I wasn't able to make it this year.

 

[DragonLancer]

I'm sorry for your loss. I've thankfully never had to deal with this and hope I never do.

 

[wingsandsword]

Played together in a tabletop game? No.

Five years ago, someone I had gamed with on many occasions, and still regularly larped with died in a car crash.

Her character was presumed to have died between games. As her character was (in D&D terms) a high level chaotic-evil cleric of a god of fear with an almost Lovecraftian madness from interacting with the creatures she had summoned (and that had summoned her in response), we all assumed in-game that her character had finally gone way too far over the edge and been consumed by something she had summoned or traveled to the plane of fear and never came back. We didn't talk about it much in game, to be honest, just a handwaved acknowledgment that she wasn't coming back.

 

[Olaf the Stout]

I've never had someone in my gaming group pass away. All I can add is that I'm sorry for you loss (and for those other posters in this thread who have also lost friends. To be honest, reading this thread has made me a little sad, but at the same time thankful that I still have my gaming group here with me today.

Olaf the Stout

 

[questing gm]

I had a player in my highschool AD&D group which was the first edition that I played and got me into D&D. He stopped gaming with us when he dropped out.

Several years later during my college/university years, I somehow bumped into him and he still told me that he would like to get a chance to play again some day but we just got so busy with our lives.

About two years ago, I was shocked to hear that he had passed away due to some complications from an infection.

He was not only the first person that I gamed with who passed but was also the first person to have passed on from our batch.

He was a great guy and was one of my best players.